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So tonight I fell out with my son (again). He is 10 years old and obsessed with gaming/socialising with friends electronically.
He attends clubs 3 times per week and most of the time he tries to get out of those to stay in front of his Xbox. I don’t allow him to and put up with the attitude to get him out doing something else.
I really don’t know what to try next. We have tried limiting it (ie 2 hours per day) but I feel guilty because “all his friends play as much as they want”.
Bed time is at 9pm and I make him finish up gaming at 8pm, this isn’t unreasonable to me but tonight he made me feel awful about it.
Any tips from those other gaming mums? Why do I feel so bad every time I tell him off about it? He says things like “all I do is make you unhappy!?” and it grabs at my heart strings and I think about it for hours....
I'm afraid I don't have much advice but really feel for you, my boyfriend is a huge gamer, quite obsessed really and I don't really like it. But all of his friends game so it is a social thing for him. However he's an adult and works outdoors doing a manual job during the day so gaming for him is chill time. His son who stays with us every other weekend is now starting to game on the xbox (5.5 years old) and I personally think it's too young as they can't break away at that age (even at your sons age) and think ' i should really go outside and get some fresh air now' so it becomes a constant battle to get them off.
Could you talk to the other mums and see if there's either an allotted time slot where they all game say 5-7 and then all come off so no one is missing out (although you could get some shirty responses if any of then have mums who just let them game all the time for a quiet life), or is there a club they could all join together?
Sadly I think for boys and even grown men (my boyfriend has friends in their late 30s still gaming) this is just a way of life, they've listed gaming as an addiction now too. I'm not sure how it got to this point but I dont know one boy my age who doesn't game at least a bit. You're doing the right thing limiting it now though so hopefully he never becomes obsessive sitting on it all day, sounds like he would if he could but as parents we know it's not healthy and have to battle it out unfortunately! Good luck!
I’m sure all his friends are not allowed to play as much as they want, that’s one of the oldest lines in the book! I remember saying it to my mum when I was a child.
2 hours a day is plenty and not an unreasonable boundary. When you feel guilty remember you’re setting this limit for his own good even if he doesn’t see it now.
Stick to your two hour limit. You're the parent, he's 10, it's not negotiable. Let him kick up a fuss about it if he wants, but the facts are you're still the parent, he's still 10, and it's not negotiable. You know what's best.
I really doubt that all his friends actually do get to play as much as they want. Most parents have boundaries around these things.