Ready to stop breastfeeding, DD 2.5 very much isn’t!

(22 Posts)
Nestofcrowes Mon 03-May-21 16:41:49

We’ve had a very easy (and long!) breastfeeding journey, and I always assumed feeding would just naturally tail off as DD got older.

However she’s 2.5 now and definitely not got the memo - with lockdown limiting what we can do she’s spent the past few months wanting to constantly nurse. Thankfully she doesn’t nurse overnight and my husband does bedtimes, but I’m finding myself increasingly touched out.

I’m very much ready to stop breastfeeding, does anyone have any tips besides from hoping to distract/ weather the violent tantrum that follows every time I try to say no?

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ThornAmongstRoses Mon 03-May-21 17:50:00

You have my sympathy.

With my first son, who was also 2.5 years older when I hit the point of ‘enough is enough’ my husband took him away for a week which certainly did the job of weaning him off it grin

With my second son, I was at the point of weaning him when he was 2.5 years but then the first lockdown hit which meant we were together all the time, with nowhere to take him for distraction etc and he wanted to feel all day. It was a nightmare. Ultimately I didn’t get him to stop feeding until he was just about to turn 3 because lockdown near enough made it impossible to just stop.

I feel for you though, there’s nothing worse than feeling touched out and wanting to scream when you see your toddler approaching you with that look in their eye that lets you know exactly what they want!

With my second son I really started to resent him at one point, just him being near me annoyed me because all he’d ever do is grab at my top and screech “milk” at me over and over again. It was such a difficult stage.

Good luck OP flowers

Verbena87 Mon 03-May-21 17:55:40

No proper advice but at 3 my son was still feeding to sleep every night and I couldn’t see the end, then we chatted about it a bit, then one day within a couple of weeks he stopped like someone had flicked a switch. I couldn’t have imagined him ever stopping the week before. I think development is sometimes nothing for ages then all at once - May it happen for you too

Nestofcrowes Mon 03-May-21 18:06:52

Thank you! I definitely agree lockdown has been awful for it - she doesn’t ask at all when we’re out and about, it’s a boredom/ comfort thing for sure.

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Tetrixxs Mon 03-May-21 18:10:41

I could only go cold Turkey & deal with the crying as he just wouldn’t wean.
DS2 was 3yr 3mo when we stopped & to be fair I would have carried on if my nipples weren’t so sore from pregnancy (also had no milk). Some children just won’t ‘self-wean’ even after years, if you want to stop then just stop. After a few days they’ll be fine, they are very adaptable. I think I was more upset in the end!! He did get obsessed with putting his hands down my top though but I allowed that grin then all of a sudden, when I had DS3, he just stopped.
6 months later he barely remembers feeding!

Ariannah Mon 03-May-21 18:12:14

Mine was about that age when I told him the milk was all gone, there’s none left. I still let him cuddle and hold my breasts if he wanted to. He cried a bit, it lasted a few days. Then he was just sad and stopped asking, he kept saying oh no, milks all gone. After a couple of weeks he stopped mentioning it.

burritofan Mon 03-May-21 18:16:03

Following! Mine’s just turned two and I am DONE. She is not. Told her the milk would run out soon and she told me to go to the shop and buy more 😭

HavelockVetinari Mon 03-May-21 18:20:39

Mine was the same at 2 and a half - three months later he suddenly decided to self-wean.

ViolaValentina Mon 03-May-21 18:21:33

I told DS (2y4m) that the milk was running out/nearly gone for about a week beforehand. He still fed to sleep and for naps at that point so we had to find an alternative for those (cup of milk followed by lights out and audiobooks). For feeds during the day I just gently reminded him that milk was gone then distracted him with duplo or a snack or a story. It only took a few days and he adapted surprisingly well.
Good luck!

SirSamuelVimes Mon 03-May-21 18:52:30

Also following! DD is the same ago as yours OP. At the start of 2020 I thought we'd be done soon, as we were out and about all the time so she just wasn't having any feeds in the day. Then lockdown hit and she's firmly reinstated the feed to nap time in the middle of the day, and is trying to get sneaky extra feeds in too! I've tried talking to her about it but she's do far either got really sad and grumpy or just flat out laughed when I tell her boobs will stop making milk soon!

SirSamuelVimes Mon 03-May-21 18:53:44

Oh and she won't drink cows milk, no matter what cup it's in or if it's cold / warm. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Verbena87 Mon 03-May-21 19:46:56

Mine has never wanted cows milk either, he did still eventually stop.

Mylittlepony374 Mon 03-May-21 19:53:52

I thought I brilliantly weaned my first child at 18 months, so easy. Only now that my 2 Yr 9 month old STILL can't drop the before bed feed that I realise she weaned herself.
Daytime feeds we always just dropped by distraction, e. g TV, snack, etc. Learned not to do anything that means I sit down because then they pounce 😂..

Allthenumbers Mon 03-May-21 19:59:56

There is a story book called Loving Comfort which
I have and is good. Explains weaning to a toddler!

I successfully and painlessly night weaned my two year old by using similar books to explain night weaning to her.

I’ve not used the loving comfort one yet as I still feed her to sleep for naps but when naps go, my weaning plan is reading her the story and hoping that helps end the breastfeeding!

BergamotMouse Mon 03-May-21 20:16:52

It's nice to read similar experiences. My 2.5 year old is still feeding but only the before bed feed. I explained we might stop soon but he said no. I asked why he likes milky so much and he said because of all the beautiful colours in his head.

Now I don't have the heart to stop!!

Aprilshowersandhail Mon 03-May-21 20:20:35

Years ago my mate stuck plasters on her nipples and told her dd they were sore now she had big girl's teeth.
Her dd kept say ow ow and cuddling her dm!!

Nestofcrowes Mon 03-May-21 20:28:57

BergamotMouse that’s such a gorgeous thing for him to say!

Ido find it tough to justify wanting to stop sometimes when she’s so happy and comforted... but then when it’s the hundredth time in an afternoon she’s demanding milk I change my mind.

It’s making me feel better that there’s a lot of similar feelings out there - all my friends’ children stopped feeding while they were younger so I was feeling like a outlier.

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MySocalledLoaf Mon 03-May-21 20:37:04

I was in exactly the same position as you two weeks ago with my 2 y 7 month old. I had almost weaned him last year but he actually picked up feeds he had dropped when nursery shut.
I managed to cut out two out of three using the don’t offer, don’t refuse technique and avoiding all cues (e.g. no cuddles on the sofa after bath, we sat on the bedroom floor to read a story).
With the one feed left over I then reduced the length to below a minute.
What happened next was that I had to take medicine and the pharmacist wrongly told me it would be dangerous to breastfeed (but I only found that out three days after). So I explained to him that he couldn’t have milk any more and he was a bit grumpy but it was fine. After a week he stopped asking and being grumpy. Tbh I should have done it months ago. The drawn out farewell didn’t help anyone.

burritofan Tue 04-May-21 08:51:13

Mine takes cow’s milk from a cup and will literally chug it then announce, “And now mummy milk!”

Any time I’ve had sore nipples, clogged ducts, etc, she christens that boob “Hurty milk” and merrily continues to nurse. Suspect she’d rip a plaster off grin

I’ll look into the book recommended above, thanks!

SirSamuelVimes Tue 04-May-21 09:13:50

Suspect she’d rip a plaster off

Mine definitely would!!

Notverygrownup Tue 04-May-21 09:25:15

DS1 was a little older, approaching 3, so I had a chat about him being a big boy now. I gave him the choice to continue feeding but said when he stopped feeding we could go to the Toy Shop for him to choose his "Big Boy Present". Anything he wanted. He liked the idea but said he would give up for a day, get the present, and then start again! I explained that the present would have to go back if he did start again.

He thought about it for a few days and then announced he was ready to be a big boy, so after 24 hours of no feeding we went to the shop. I was ready to pay £80 for a bike - he eventually, after much deliberation, chose a £1.50 pack of farm animals!!

I had a friend who bandaged herself up firmly when she and her dd went cold turkey, so that she couldn't be persuaded by her very persistent daughter.

Nestofcrowes Tue 04-May-21 09:33:10

I like the idea of going to the toy shop, I may have the conversation with DD and she what she thinks about it!

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