During various lockdowns I’ve been out with the toddler a lot durning the day and this dreaded question is asked, without warning, far more than I’d like and by complete strangers. Always catches me off-guard and I can’t say it leaves me feeling great. Sometimes it also comes up as “where are you really from?”, on the basis that I sound like a Brit but look different. We live in London so hardly a rarity.
Today was another example, toddler waved at a lady in the park, we got chatting (at a distance) and, on the back of some inane pleasantries about the warmer weather she suddenly asks “you’re not English, are you, looking at you?”. I did what I always do when this happens and calmly said “oh, actually we’d better get home”. (I say “always”, it’s happened 4 times in a year.) I don’t trust someone who thinks like this not to say something else weird in front of the toddler, nor do I want to keep talking to them myself.
The thing is, this time, once we left the toddler asked “wot’s English”? I doubt she really understood and I fobbed her off with a cookie because I didn’t know what to say. She is half English herself, but I feel like I need an age-appropriate way to explain this isn’t ok - what have others done, if anything? Or is there a better way to handle this in the moment? I just feel awful about the whole thing yet again and never want DD to feel “othered” the way I do myself over this as she gets older.
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“You’re not English, are you?” - parenting through it
32 replies
ToddlerQuestions · 15/02/2021 19:24
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