Sick of being moaned at 24/7!

Surely your DH should be open to talking about realistic expectations and a split of the housework. When we went from 1 to 2 and 2 was newborn I lost my shit at DH a few times about his expectations of what housework I'd be capable of.

Oh OP I feel your pain! You have three very small DC and this is such a difficult time. Your DH needs to step up and make things easier for you, not harder. I hope you made that crystal clear to him this morning!

I have an 11 year old dd..she goes through extreme moaning stages..I find it unbearable. ...your situation sounds worse. ...deep breath!

I have a 4 year old and almost 3 year old which is bad enough, if I had a baby and a shit husband on top I'd have run away a long time ago so you are a hero.

I get what you mean about the moaning. My 4 year old has an attitude pretty much as soon a she gets up, she starts most sentences with "I want" these days. I don't think lockdown has helped because she's probably getting more TV and snacks than ever before, so is probably more expectant now than previously unfortunately!

You need to talk to your husband though and get him to pull his weight. Is he of any use on weekends/days off? Does he get involved at night time? My husband wasn't the best when they were babies until I had several breakdowns on him and just used to bugger off on my own for a bit.

Would he be willing to pay for a cleaner if he's that bothered?

Your dh needs to stop moaning , it's making your kids think that's normal and making them moan too. I know a little girl whose mum is quite negative and generally moany and her dd6 is now like it too which is a shame as it often takes the fun out of a day out. He needs to lower his expectations, get a cleaner or help out more.

Assuming your husband isn't working tomorrow get up, leave the house, drive somewhere, buy a coffee, take a long walk, buy lunch to eat in car and don't come home til you run out ways to be outside the home.

Your husband needs to learn to stop being a sexist knob and appreciate you. Being in the military doesn't make him a special little flower who has to have tidiness but not tidy,

Mine are the same (the kids) and I think it's pretty normal. Especially at the moment. A few people I've spoken to in real life are saying the same.

Your DH moaning is not OK! I really rely on my DH to lift me up when I need it. You need that boost just now.

@Momtot

Your last post makes me really sad, he's awful! Can you go on strike? No housework til he mends his behaviour and manners?

This will only get worse.

I say this as someone with teens. Nip the whinging in the bud. Ask the child how they think they can solve the problem/feel happy/ cheer up. I did encourage my children to take personal responsibility for their own happiness. Yes your children are very young, you will need to guide them with ideas/solutions. Put music on, don't allow everyone to wallow in negativity. And be especially mindful that they are not taking cues from you, are you being positive, upbeat and cheerful?

Lead by example and decide to have a happy home.

At least leave him with all the kids for 48 hours minimum. He can book a day off afterwards so he has some people free time as he normally does. He really does need to experience your life, although the relentlessness may not be fully understood.

Personally I’d tell him straight ‘moan at me one more time and I’m booking myself into a hotel for the weekend and leaving you to run the show here ‘ . Then follow through. You could easily leave 5pm Friday and return 5pm Sunday.

The moaning is overwhelming. I find the same thing.

Your DH doesn't sound like he's pulling your weight. I think you need to have a frank chat with him about how you're feeling and how you can move forward together as a team.

Snowydays, my sister always says that (she's a teacher) about not allowing the moaning, and to be fair her kids don't moan that much. She is really strict and will say things like

'I can't hear you when you use that voice. Try again'

'we don't speak that way in this house. Nice voices only.'

It does work, but I find it exhausting to say 2 million times a day. I might try it again though as I don't want to get to teenage years and find they are still whining.

I really think you need a break and to set new boundaries. I foresee you’re going to hit the shit big time when you return to work and he fully expects you to run the house while working.

I would just ignore the moaning completely. Blank it. Don’t respond. Say you only understand when they speak nicely

Tell your H you agree the place is in bits, put your baby in the pram or car. Head off leave him with the housework and the toddlers. You are not staff

OP, no advice just solidarity... I have an almost four year old who's desperately missing nursery and a five month old who's teething. The moaning is unbearable!!! Even though eldest isn't normally like that and obviously five month old can't help it!

Moaning drags everyone down and creates a whole air of negativity and it's an easy habit to get into - moan , moan , moan . Moaning sets the mood in the house , he really has got to change his ways especially as the 3 year old has started it too. Kids learn by example . Your dh probably doesn't realise how much he is moaning but when covid is over and you start having days out and they are moaning about every little thing it will spoil the day.

I feel your pain- but I only have 2 DC (3&4yo) and a really helpful husband. I feel like screaming most days, so god only knows how youre holding it together.

The house will be a mess. Your husband either needs to pull his weight or get over it.

Stick on the tv and don't feel guilty. See if you can sneak in a quiet cuppa.

And consider when you can rope your DH in on night shifts with baby (tricky I appreciate for a breastfed baby!). Since my youngest turned 1 we both share night shifts, working or at home- you still need the sleep