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Parenting

Current situation not good

2 replies

Redruby2020 · 22/01/2021 09:44

Okay so the title says it all.
Had already moved due to eviction, me and DS had gone to stay with family, you might see a previous post. I did not want to go back to who is now exP, due to DV. Managed to sort something out housing wise for me and DS, and since moved. ExP been arrested and bailed so far whilst they investigate things, so he can not have direct contact with me, and so for the time being until other authorities intervene not able to arrange child contact between my DS and exP. Just finding it all hard but more so feel for my DS, as he has gone through quite a lot in his short life, I feel all of these events has had an impact on him, and then moving again, whereby he won't even stay with my parents easily without getting upset, he has had to go to them as I have some big maintenance works being done and it was not possible to keep him at home, I do wonder what I would have done if I couldn't send him over to stay, but I guess that is irrelevant now. Not looking forward to all the cleaning that will need to be done, and might have to have DS back later if he won't settle with DP's. Stressed out and exhausted, trying to do it all. So really this is a bit of a rant, but also for some support and any advice anyone can offer.

Thankyou if you have read to the end.

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Ohalrightthen · 22/01/2021 10:21

How old is he? Kids are so flexible, if you're cheery and calm and treat it all like an adventure, he'll likely just go with it. If you're stressed and upset and panicking, he will be too.

Parenting - qualifies you for an Oscar.

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Redruby2020 · 22/01/2021 11:14

Hi @Ohalrightthen and thanks for your reply.
He is 3. I know I think the same but then don't put it in to practice, I have found myself getting very irritated recently with the move and trying to do it all, which nobody can. It has been 3 weeks since direct contact allowed with exP, and I have really felt the difference, with not being able to share the child care. 3 years at home full time with a child is not easy, though I know some might come along and tell me it could be worse, and I know it could be.
When we are up early in the future etc, and nights have to be drawn in even more because of nursery/school, I know there will be parts of this moment in time, that I will wish I could have back.

I am struggling with the whole situation in general though with exP, wasted a lot of years with him, suffered a lot, and then it was him who pushed me in to having a child. Never felt that he was like other dad's who do it all.
So with the abuse and everything else I am better off like this, but then I didn't want to be like this either, if you get what I mean, sorry I babble just in a bit of a rut at the moment.

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