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Leaving baby alone(16 Posts)
So I’m due in April with my first, and one thing I can’t get my head around is not leaving the baby alone for 6 months.
How does that work in practice? We don’t plan to leave him generally (ordering side sleeper for bedroom, etc) but how does it work with things like when I need to use the loo. I assume with showering I can wait until DH is home, but I have issues with using the bathroom which means I can spend a long time sitting on the loo when I’m doing a number 2. Do I bring baby with me in case it turns into a long one? What about when I’m peeing? That’s in and out, can I leave him alone when I need to pee?
And how do we have sex...? I’m fully aware it’ll likely be a couple of months at least until I want to have sex again, but when it’s time, what do we with baby?!
I know we’ll be figure it out but some guidance would be great, so I can start understanding what I need to do!
By that logic you would never sleep ( or tag team sleep with your DH) ... you are seriously over thinking it, of course you can leave your baby (obviously safely in a Moses basket/cot or strapped into a baby chair or whatever is appropriate ) whilst you go to the bathroom, have a quick shower etc.
Not popular these days but my DS was very happy in a play pen and I certainly didn't spend all day, every day glued to his side.
@Ragwort We have asked ourselves that question...if we can’t leave him alone, then how are we meant to sleep, and obviously we can sleep, so how is sleeping any different?!
Thank you, I know we’re over thinking it, but we can’t stop!
Have you looked at the bedside cots? In the early days I left LO in his snozpod with both sides zipped up. Sometimes you just need to nip to the toilet or make a cup of tea. I also had a bouncer which I put LO into. I wish I had invested in a cloth sling in the early days.
DH and I did not have sex until LO was over a year due to tiredness and LO always being in bed with us. He is finally spending longer stretches in his cot which is good
As long as baby is in a safe place you can go to the toilet, make yourself food, have a quick shower, clean the kitchen, do the washing etc: You absolutely do not have to spend every second of every day with them, you’ll burn out, you have to look after yourself as well as the baby!
Oh my darling you are definitely overthinking things when they say not to leave baby alone it means keeping baby in your room for the first 6 months. You can of course go to the loo and do other things provided your baby is in a safe environment like it a bouncer laying in a Moses basket or next to me crib.
I have two children a 1 and 2 year old and though I did have them in a next to me crib for the first 6 months they were quite happy a content of I had to leave the room to use the loo/shower.
Congratulations by the way enjoy every second x
I had a bouncy chair with dangly toys just outside the bathroom door which I would put DD in when I was on the loo or in the shower, she would be happy enough in there for 10 mins & we could see each other. Just had sex in bed with her in next to me, hopefully not too scarring for her 😬
When baby is sleeping in the same room as you, your breathing regulates theirs' while you're asleep.
Re going to the loo, having a quick shower, cooking etc. baby is absolutely fine on their own for a few minutes at a time as long as they're in a safe place ( Moses basket, pram, cot, floor).
The baby should be sleeping in the same room as you. You're allowed to sleep to. It's also fine to leave baby for short periods to go to the loo, get a drink etc.
What the advice is suggesting you don't do is put baby to sleep in their own room or leave baby in the room for several hours alone.
If you know which toiletting is going to take ages, I'd be inclined to take him with you don't because if he starts screaming, you can't go to him and the stress isn't going to help you poo.
I never took DS to the toilet with me i used to leave him strapped in his seat or put him in his cot. Showers I used to put in him the bouncer in the bathroom with me.
Sex wasn't an issue, he was in his cot next to our bed and we waited until he was asleep.
Things like housework and washing I would put him in his cot or bouncer.
Re sex, wait for them to be asleep and don't scream top loud. Think quiet moan rather than window shattering squeal. If the motion affects the side cot too much then go slower.
Alt the sofa if baby is asleep on moses basket in the living room, or invite Bab over to baby sit so you can both have a "nap"
Honestly I think if you read some MN threads on this topic you can get the wrong end of the stick. Some are really militant about it but in practicality it just isnt like that. Of course you can leave him when asleep to use the loo, get yourself a drink. In general, they're supposed to be in the same room as you.
For toilet I would have just left him on his play mat.
For shower either wait for dad to be home or put him in the bouncer in the room with me.
In those early days we had sex very infrequently but when we did it was a day time quickie upstairs while the baby was napping dow stairs in the moses basket.
I tried a sling but have a dodgy shoulder so never got on with it but I know others who swear by them. They can be useful to give you a bit of freedom as newborns are basically stuck to you ( at least mine was)
Obviously sleep and try to get as much sleep as you can in those early days. I had a next to me which was brilliant.
Its ok to leave the baby for a few minutes to say go get a coffee or some food. Just make sure there secure.
It becomes alot more difficult after they become mobile. My 12 month old is a tornado. Every form of baby proofing is viewed as a challenge which to be fair to him is pretty funny at times albeit infuriating
...who told you that you can't ever leave a baby alone!? Absolute nonsense.
Until they're 6 months, it is recommended that you're in the room while they're asleep, as a protection against SIDS.
Otherwise, it's perfectly fine to leave your baby somewhere safe and go answer the door/wash your hair/make a cuppa/have a dump. I had a baby who didn't like being alone, and a biiiiig bathroom, so i usually brought her in with me and left her in her bouncy chair or on a blanket, but tbh there were plenty of times when i just popped her in the moses and left for a minute or two.
RE sex, we just used to wait til DD was asleep and put the side up on her bedside cot. I felt a bit weird being able to see her through the mesh so draped a blanket over it, and got down to business. Quietly. DH and i had a good giggle after about feeling like teens having a quickie in total silence so our parents didn't hear!
Ok, sounds like I’ve completely misunderstood the whole don’t leave them alone! I did wonder how on earth that is possible in practical terms, and we just couldn’t get our heads round it! That all makes so much more sense and is more realistic!
Thank you so much everyone! That takes the pressure off!
Baby swing in the bathroom, baby pod on the floor in the living room. Bassinet in the living room. Next to me cot in the bedroom. Sling.
And you'll end up using the loo in front of them when they are a toddler to model good behaviour for potty training so just give in now....
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