I'm nervous posting this but I can't calm my brain. I feel confused and shocked.
So me and my 3 year old boy had the best day today. Honestly felt like I was bossing it as a mum. We were both happy and the day just flowed.
One thing happened though that I can't understand and now he's sound asleep in bed I'm driving myself crazy over it.
So we went to a park to practiced his scooter. He decided he wanted me to push him on it. With both his feet on it and me pushing from behind.
He hasn't mastered steering yet and I couldn't steer from behind so every time we got to the edge of the path I would stop and straighten him up and go again. But for some reason unknown on the last go I was pushing from behind and we were going towards the edge of the path which goes into grass and rather then stop the scooter I let go of him. Knowing full well he would fall off as the scooter hit the grass.
I don't understand what the hell i thought I was doing and what made my brain think that was a good idea. I picked him up straight away and checked he was ok and he was fine. He was rubbing his knees a bit. But no tears and we carried on having fun. BUT WHY? I would never want to hurt him. I don't get it? Why did I do that? I feel sick that my brain decided to do that.
It's like I had a intrusive thought to do it and then did it before I realised what I was doing. He could of hurt himself, it could of made him not want to go in his scooter again and he's only a beginner 😢 why why why???
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I don't know why I did it
42 replies
NiKiTaCoLlEt · 08/01/2021 22:23
OP posts:
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