Hi all,
Sorry feel like I need to let off some steam a little bit...I’m a first time mum to my 11 week old boy on Sunday and am struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
He is becoming a bit easier in the day in the sense I can leave him in his chair or on his play mat for decent amount of time (enough for me to go and grab a drink or something to eat etc) and he also will nap (sometimes on me, sometimes I’ll get in my bed with him so I can try and get a bit of sleep as well albeit I find it hard for some reason - like I know I can so it makes it harder to drop off).
Despite all this, I have a constant feeling of isolation. My husband is back at work and works shifts so find it hard to establish any form of pattern with his presence and I live two hours away from my mum and dad so can’t even take advantage of using them as a support bubble. Even when my husband is around I just never feel relaxed. I have this constant feeling of being trapped, I don’t feel like doing anything or going out and want to just hide away but then I feel worse for it. My husband is helpful to an extent but I still feel lonely in myself. The days feel long and the nights longer (currently waking up twice on good nights for feeds) but I’m just wondering when I’m going to get this rush of love and be able to enjoy motherhood? I love my son but the toll it’s taking on my own well-being and sense of self is ridiculous and I feel like I want to just fast forward time or stop the world and get off.
Please tell me I’ve got something to look forward to cos at the moment I feel like I’m running on empty and losing myself
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Feeling trapped
12 replies
GBA123 · 07/01/2021 19:28
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