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How long does this clingy phase last?

2 replies

LunaNova · 06/01/2021 10:11

Hi all!

I'm hoping you can give me a bit of advice. DD is 9 months old, born the day before we went into first lockdown back in March, so our support system has been limited throughout this time. Even though we are now able to form a support bubble, it's not feasible to see them all the time so it's been quite an isolated experience for myself and DH.

We are definitely in the throes of separation anxiety/a regression at the minute, we're experiencing more frequent waking at night for which sometimes she will settle straight away after a feed and other times she won't settle for around 45 mins - an hour and notices as soon as I leave the room. On these occasions I send DH in and she will settle for him within 10 mins.

DH is great, he always gets up with her in the morning and lets me sleep in and at the minute he's been off from work (until next week) so he's been trying to give me as much time to myself as he can.

DD has always given him the best laughs and the biggest smiles and this hasn't changed, but the past few days she has been inconsolable when I've not been with her. I mean full on screaming and throwing herself about until I come back, naturally this is upsetting my DH who wants his daddy's girl back!

I'm not sure what the best course of action is? Do we continue to give her time alone with DH even if inconsolable or just wait a while and try again? I did suggest that once he goes back to work next week he may be a bit more novel to her.

Any advice? Help!

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mindutopia · 06/01/2021 10:52

I found the best thing to do what to do whatever worked to make them feel comfortable and secure. It's a phase about learning that people go away and then you miss them and it's upsetting. Making them feel as secure and happy while it lasts seemed to work well. One day it just stopped and life was easy again and mine were confident and happy and secure again. I'd say it was around 11 months.

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LunaNova · 06/01/2021 11:22

Thanks @mindutopia that's really helpful! I figured that would be the best approach, I think my DH is finding it hard not to take it personally. She still enjoys sitting with him while he cooks (even if I'm not in the room) and she loves bath time when he does it so we'll just keep doing more of those things in the meantime.