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What are the challenges of having 2 kids?

(12 Posts)
Postwhisk Mon 04-Jan-21 13:20:32

I just wanted to know what it’s really actually like having 2 children. So what challenges/difficulties do you face either daily or whenever with having 2 children?

Also can you please share your age gap?

OP’s posts: |
Shield1990 Mon 04-Jan-21 13:27:52

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old (daughters) so a two year gap. It is tough when it comes to finding stuff for them both to do - particularly at the moment, and you soon get a whole new understanding of multitasking. It's tough learning to split your attention, with one child it can be exhausting and challenging but you can give them all of your time. With two or more, you have to try and pay equal attention to both of their needs and wants and it's a juggling act.

That being said they love each other, and they are slowly starting to interact more as they get older so although I am anticipating some interesting arguments, the dream will be them occasionally playing each other as they get older and being close. x

Respectabitch Mon 04-Jan-21 13:31:34

There are times when they play together really nicely and it's actually (for the moment) less work than having one who wants entertained.

There are other times when they both want to go and do different things or both want the same toy or are just both on at you simultaneously about different things that it's just really fucking frazzling. The toddler is wailing because he's spilled his milk all over himself and has also shit his pants and the 5yo is right up in your face all 'mummy can I tell you an endless story about Lego and will you admire my Lego and also can I have a cup of milk too'.

Respectabitch Mon 04-Jan-21 13:33:14

Oh and my age gap is 3 years.

I have said "darling I am BUSY RIGHT NOW" through gritted teeth many, many times since becoming a parent of two.

Looking after just one child has become a positive rest break.

crazychemist Mon 04-Jan-21 14:04:22

I’ve got a 4 year age gap. Longer than we’d planned, but in all honesty I’d recommend it - DD has days at preschool (well, she did last term), and can do things like taking herself to the loo, getting herself dressed (with some assistance, but I don’t need both hands), getting a snack out of the cupboard. That means there aren’t too many crises where I’m urgently needed in two places at once.

I’ve been finding the newborn stage really tough, but mostly becUse I’ve hD twins and they were also premTure so we’ve had complications with feeding. I think you need to think about how you found your first DC - what did find challenging? Personally, I’m not too bad with sleep deprivation, so wasn’t worried about going through that agAin, but some people find it really tough.

CoodleMoodle Mon 04-Jan-21 14:12:15

I have a 4yr age gap, DD6 and DS2. Newborn stage was fairly easy (apart from being tired!) as DS was born in July and DD started school in September, so when he was about 6 weeks old I only had him to contend with during the day. We worked his routine around school pick ups and drop offs and it all worked out fine. I got plenty of time to bond with him like I did with DD.

In fact it was all quite easy up until DS started being more mobile! He can be an absolute terror and ruin her games, and gets very jealous of DD if she tries to spend time with me... But he's also very loving to his sister and says she's his best friend. Not sure he really understands that but it's sweet. DD adores him and loves to look after him, and they're very close. They're very different in personality, though. DD is super sensible and "grown up", DS is a nonstop ball of energy.

One minute they're snuggling up with DD reading to DS, the next I'm having to pull them apart because "he pinched me" or "I not like her" or whatever! I wouldn't change it, but it can be hard. Homeschooling was and will be an utter nightmare!

Bringallthebiscuits Mon 04-Jan-21 15:09:04

I have a four year old and a just turned one year old.

Challenges: doing any kind of indoor activity with the four year old beyond tv watching. His baby sister grabs everything in reach. If I sit the four year old at a table, she goes off getting herself into trouble, pulling things on herself, falling over, chewing her big brother’s toys. The park is ok but it’s obviously cold now and the baby is still unsteady on her feet so liable to face plant in mud at any moment.

It’s just tiring trying to meet both their needs, especially when one is ill and wants to be cuddled. The absolute worst is when both are ill and I am too! And when they both have a bad night’s sleep so I start the day with a banging headache.

ServeTheServants Mon 04-Jan-21 15:12:30

I have a 16 month age gap. Initially, I felt the guilt at splitting my time utterly crushing & devastating. Obviously the baby took up so much time that had exclusively been my eldest’s and I just found it so upsetting.

I’m glad I have two as they are best friends and play together a lot. I still struggled splitting my time, especially now they have homework / reading / spellings. Again, I feel like I can’t give enough to both of them, so I feel guilty a lot of the time. However, their special bond far outweighs any of my own silly worries.

AlwaysLatte Mon 04-Jan-21 15:34:16

12 and 10 year old boys. Mostly they get on brilliantly and have pretty much always had mostly the same interests, which is great. But they do occasionally have a fiery temper with each other. On the whole though they are great friends.

Postwhisk Wed 06-Jan-21 05:27:10

That is my biggest worry, not being available and free whenever my first child needs me!

OP’s posts: |
CindyTurner65 Wed 06-Jan-21 05:52:17

2 year gap here.

For the first year or so you just have to choose which one can cry.

DS1 wants a drink and DS2 doesn't want to be in his bouncer. DS2 can cry.

DS2 needs a clean nappy and DS1 wants you to play paw patrol. DS1 can cry.

Eileen101 Wed 06-Jan-21 06:54:59

2 and a bit years here. DS is now just coming up for 3 and DD is 8 months. My main challenges right now are the tiredness of a teething baby and an early rising toddler - baby was up several times in the night and both up for the day at 4.45 hmm
These kind of days do make me feel a bit like I'm snapping at the toddler when really he's just being a toddler, but I'm just tired, but that's my problem to deal with.
My other main challenge is getting a baby who is interested in everything to nap around a toddler who just wants to cuddle baby, sing to them etc. In normal times, I would put them in the pushchair and baby would easily fall asleep while we're walking, or I'd plan our car journeys around naps for them to sleep in the car. In tier 4band lockdown times, I end up distracting toddler with a bit of TV more than I'd like so I can get baby to sleep with minimal distraction.

However there are advantages to having this age gap - I've been able to synchronise naps for them as well as nappy changes etc. DS was also too little to be jealous especially as DD was s pretty good sleeper from birth so I built in lots of quality time with me while she was sleeping in the day.

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