DD has very much hit that phase now and I'm finding it really trying, not helped by almost ex'DP being absolutely fucking useless. Up until 5 weeks ago DD had generally been a pretty easy going kid, had her moments but no real issues. Now, everything is just horrendous. I try to pick my battles but that's not working.
We go to the shops and she wont walk nicely with me holding hands, she wont walk on reins (just dangles herself), loses her shit when I put her in her pram and then spends all her time trying to escape it, wont go in a trolley in the supermarket. After 15 mins of tears shes might calm down, but it might only be 5 mins before she kicks off again. Shes only happy if shes allowed to run riot and obviously that's not allowed.
Getting dressed is a battle, as is nappy changing. I've tried encouraging her to do it herself as she likes her independence but unless she feels like it (rarely) she simply wont get dressed unless I wrestle her into clothes. Sometimes I just leave her in her pyjamas but the issue still arises when it comes to coats, socks, shoes etc.
Brushing her teeth is done on the floor whilst she screams.
Meal times shes back to being strapped in a high chair or she just messes around.
She seems to have lost the ability to play nicely with anything either alone or with me. She just throws things around and if shes told not to she tantrums.
I cant take my eye off her for a second or shell be on the table/tv stand/kicking the cat or something else she knows full well isnt allowed.
Shes currently screaming and banging cupboard doors because she cant have a raw fucking chicken breast she saw in the fridge when I got her a yoghurt. This has been going on a good 10 minutes now. I'm honestly at my wits end. Shes only happy watching hey duggee, though I'd rather she didnt watch it 24/7.
I try go to the park or do some sort of outdoor activity where she can let off steam most days, and I make sure I spend some time doing an activity with her but shes still not happy. When she is being good I tell her so I make a big deal of it but those moments are getting rarer and rarer.
Any advice for getting through this stage?
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Dealing with 'terrible two's'
SuperSteve · 02/01/2021 18:49
Oh and if she gets an idea in her head that's it. Wants to throw her self head first down the stairs/eat a whole bar of chocolate/ post things out the door via the letter box and she is adamant she will do it. Neither me or dp give in to her demands but she can go the whole day demanding whatever thing it is she wants
Repeat all the time 'it's just a phase'
Get a box or drawer in the kitchen and fill it with things she can touch (her bowls and utensils a few other sage kitchen bits) so not everything is off limits in the kitchen. When she reaches for something not allowed in the fridge ask her to fetch something from her box.
Maybe try letting her push the pram a bit or try a buggyboard. We have a trike which does the trick - strapped in but looks like a bit of freedom with free hands for dc. It doesn't help with you weekly shop though...can you do an online order?
She really will come out of it - keep reassuring her and ignoring / distracting where needed. Try and get your useless ex dp on board with a united front.
I'm in solidarity here with you as going through the same thing. It's not personal, it's a developmental phase and you will come through it 
She sleeps reasonably well and I always make sure she has a nap during the day, when shes tired she honestly drives me to tears.
Shes pretty well fed though i try to stick to specific meal/snack times or she nags relentlessly all day for cheese/ham/yoghurt. Well she nags relentlessly anyway but I feel less like im giving in to her demands if we have set times.
There is no point asking DP to do much, if he goes shopping he spends too much money on stuff that I cant even concoct a single meal out of 
if I leave DD with him I come home to him in a foul mood, DD screeching and the house turned upside down.
She has her own kitchen that is kitted out with more than mine 😂 I try distracting her but why play nicely with your own kitchen when you can scream till your blue in the face because someone said no to playing with a bread knife.
Pushing the pram works but only for a short time, I've tried taking her own dolls pram out but it only lasts so long. She has a trike sort of thing that I can push, it has a harness and bar to stop her getting out but she sort of jams her foot into the wheel and then screams when it gets stuck and hurts.
And now time to get her to bed and my nerves can have a break till morning. 
DD was very much like how you describe - they all go through it. You just have to ride it out.
Warning though, three isn't any better (possibly worse) 
It doesn't get better at three? Fuck.
Shes very independent and I try make everything "her choice"... do you want to wear leggings or a dress? Yogurt or fruit? That sort of thing. I asked her this morning do you want your hair in plaits or pigtails, definitely wanted plaits and sat so nicely whilst I did her hair. Then immediately lost her shit because she didnt want plaits.
I try let her help with as much as possible but she has a tendency to throw things which makes it pretty hard to let her help do much as she just lobs everything across the room.
She had taken really well to potty training, I was feeling a bit smug thinking I might not have to wrestle an angry octopus into a nappy quite so often. Only, if I'm not within a foot of her when shes finished on her potty she throws the bloody thing across the room
Shes pretty articulate for her age which I had hoped would help, maybe if she could communicate why she was upset she might be a little less angry and frustrated? Nope, she can just tell me exactly what completely irrational thing she is going batshit over.
&
for all those with toddlers and have somehow kept it together today. I feel slightly better knowing I'm not alone.
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