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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

2 under 3

18 replies

highschoolneverends · 31/12/2020 08:12

I think I just need to let it all out and see what others have to say.

I have 2 boys. Almost 3 years and 4 months. The 3 year old is speech delayed although he's getting there with the help of nursery and SALT which we started in September

It can be hard in the day getting baby for a nap as he needs a quiet room but then my older one comes in. The only way to distract him is the tv but then I feel bad doing that and sometimes he whines if I turn it off. He can get jealous of the baby at times although mostly he's ok. But when he does get jealous it can be a nightmare with him crying etc. It's hard as he can't or won't tell me what he needs. I do struggle with it and feel bad putting the tv on and off when needed for 10 mins at a time but it's only way. When hubby is here he helps so it's fine

I'm always on edge about him not speaking much despite it running in the family and hearing various other ppl tell me similar stories

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Mouthfulofquiz · 31/12/2020 08:14

Stop giving yourself a hard time about the tv! That would be my tip. I had 3 under 4 at one point (all boys) and that was the only way we survived!

highschoolneverends · 31/12/2020 08:42

@Mouthfulofquiz it's only cos he's not saying much that then I worry with tv on top it's not great. We're any of yours late talking? He's 3 in late March and talks gobbledegook a lot with the odd phrase of "oh no" and various other little random words but if u say hello he doesn't say it back. He has his own version of bye bye and waves. He can say car when he sees one. So he has words but u can't have a proper chat with him

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Ty36 · 31/12/2020 08:52

I had 2 under 3 but my eldest talked very well from a young age so it was easier. My youngest said a few odd words at 3 and I was concerned so called the HV who wasn’t very helpful. He has just turned 4 now and speaks in full sentences and can hold a conversation, his overall speech has improved massively but he can still be difficult to understand. My mum mentions it a few times but I’m not worried now as I can see he is progressing and nursery haven’t raised any concerns

Mouthfulofquiz · 31/12/2020 09:02

My middle boy had a stammer so had issues but of a different kind to a delay. You can’t be everywhere at once though - and if you pop something even slightly educational on then you are winning! (Alphablocks / numberblocks / octonauts... that kind of thing.)
My eldest had a some issues with making sounds clearly so we tried cued articulation (videos on YouTube) and it worked for us and is fun!

Sillybilly35 · 31/12/2020 09:04

Let him watch TV when you need him too. I wouldn't worry about it. My son who is 2.5 is speech delayed. He has started saying a few words now since nursery and has speech and language therapy starting next year. He has even learnt a few words from the TV. So try not to worry. My son watches quite alot of TV since covid, sometimes it's needed.

jillypill · 31/12/2020 09:09

I had 2 under 3 & the eldest had a speech delay. Don't think he barely spoke, had some intervention in reception & now at 6 he's a very good reader. Still struggles with the odd sounds but Im not concerned.

I used the telly sometimes but would put on cbeebies. I also sent him to preschool/childminder.

highschoolneverends · 31/12/2020 09:58

@Ty36 with your youngest are u saying he learnt how to speak properly in one year? From not many words to sentences?

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highschoolneverends · 31/12/2020 09:59

@jillypill when would u say he started speaking? My son goes to nursery 3 hours every morning and has been since September

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jillypill · 31/12/2020 10:04

I sound like a dreadful parent but I think around 4. He was in preschool at 3 & didn't really say much for the first 6 months.

I did initially refer him at 3 but he was discharged because he understood a lot so if I said "put your hat on" or "hang your coat up" he knew the vocabulary so we could communicate.

jillypill · 31/12/2020 10:07

I would say he really only caught up with his peers at age 5 & now has a wide vocabulary & uses long sentences.

highschoolneverends · 31/12/2020 10:08

@jillypill that sounds like my son I think. He understands come and brush your teeth and bath time and put shoes and socks on and various thrashes like that

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highschoolneverends · 31/12/2020 10:09

@jillypill if he only caught up around 5 was he ok when starting school? That's my main concern as my son will start school at 4.5 so I want him ready by then really. Like I say he's 3 end of March so about 18 months or so to go

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LetsSplashMummy · 31/12/2020 10:12

The TV isn't causing the problems, you do what you need to, but if you do want to find alternatives - one thing I did a lot was play hide and seek teddies. I'd hide 12 teddies and while DC looked for them, I'd put the baby down. Jigsaws were also great.

jillypill · 31/12/2020 10:13

Absolutely fine when starting school, he was talking then but wouldn't say a lot. However the SENDCO wasn't particularly worried as he could understand teachers, carry out actions & most importantly communicate with his peers.

jillypill · 31/12/2020 10:18

Catching up by 5 I mean if you pulled a group of 5 yr olds out you wouldn't have a clue that he had had a speech delay, does that make sense? He was also a little slower at reading then some but that's normal because some sounds came later.

Hufflepuff21 · 31/12/2020 10:20

My stepdaughter was nearly 3 by the time she was speaking properly. I was concerned, but once she started she developed really quickly and is now 10 and never stops talking! Top set for Literacy etc.

Secondly, don't beat yourself up about TV for your eldest in these early months. My DS1 was 3.5 when DS2 was born and he watched A LOT of TV in the early days. It's a short time in the grand scheme of things. I know how you feel with the guilt, but you're just one person and you can't split yourself in two.x

dohdohdoh · 31/12/2020 11:15

Hello @highschoolneverends I could have written your post.

I have a 2.5 year old DS and a 5 month old. DS has been seen by a SALT who said he doesn't quite meet the criteria of an official delay but is at the slower end and will be reviewed again in 6 months. His "receptive language" or understanding doesn't seem to an issue, it's his "expressive language" that seems to be slow.

I totally use the TV for crunch moments in the day - nappy changes, putting shoes and coats on, making dinner etc. Hey Duggee and Super Simple songs on YouTube are the only things he seems to like. I do also try audiobooks and songs on my phone - the sound of music soundtrack tends be a winner here.

Yesterday the TV was on all day as it too snowy/icy/cold to go out and he lost interest after 45mins but dipped in and out throughout the day. When I'm watching it with him I sometimes ask questions for which I usually get gobble-de-gook answers for, but it's all practice!

I do find myself wishing he could communicate his needs better as it's so frustrating when he has a meltdown. But then I don't know if he would have a meltdown anyway because he is a 2.5 year old and that's just what they do! I also feel frustrated when I see other kids his age speaking really well. I know they are all different and develop at their own pace but I'm a little ashamed that it does get to me.

A random thing I have found which stops him from melting down is firmly repeating what my intention is over and over again. For example: "we're putting out coats on so that we can go and play the park, we're putting out coats on so that we can go and play the park, we're putting out coats on so that we can go and play the park".

It felt silly at first but I say it loud enough so that it drowns out his crying, and until I've managed to get his coat on. It stops him mid-tantrum and he often asks me to say it "again" after I've finished.

One thing I did find comfort in is that the SALT said that sometimes you can have the perfect external conditions for language development but it may still not unlock it from your child, that is something that will come but develops internally in them.

Sorry for the long post but finally the baby... do you have a camera monitor? I've started putting baby down for naps in the cot upstairs and she will do anything from 30mins - 2hrs. It's a bit unpredictable at the moment but does mean I can spend quality time with toddler for reading, playing games etc. And keep an eye on her with the monitor.

Good luck, sounds like you're doing an ace job!

Ty36 · 31/12/2020 11:16

Yes, he gradually started talking from age 3, starting with a couple of words put together and now has a full conversation age 4, just not quite as clear as his friends but again, still improving as time goes on

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