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Parenting

How on earth to handle imaginary play?

56 replies

Pl242 · 19/12/2020 13:43

My DD has always been into imaginary play. She’s now 4 and started reception this year and I (perhaps naively) thought she’d have grown out of a bit. But it’s her entirely favourite thing to do and it’s my absolute least favourite thing to do with her.

How do people cope with it? I honestly loathe it. I know it’s my job to get past it and suck it up, but how, exactly?

I find myself getting unfairly annoyed with her as we’ll play that for a while and then I’ll try and move her onto something else like puzzles, books, games, books, colouring etc. But she quickly tires of these things and just wants to go back to playing families. Aaaah.

It’s definitely obviously harder at the moment. We were supposed to be at the theatre today which was cancelled as it’s tier 3 and just facing lots of days inside in the rain (as she’s also very reluctant to go out in poor weather).

Any tips? Also have DS who’s about to turn 2 so have the usual challenges of trying to entertain them both simultaneously etc.

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SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2020 13:46

Does she insist you imaginery play with her do you mean? Could you get her to use her toys?

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mooncakes · 19/12/2020 13:48

I don't do imaginary play, never have.

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ImAllOut · 19/12/2020 13:48

Fingers crossed in a few months your two year old can take over as mine are 2.5 and 4 and mostly do imaginary play together now. But they do still rope me in quite a bit. In fact they've just driven me on the train to a holiday home Grin I have so far just had to suck it up unfortunately.

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Pl242 · 19/12/2020 13:51

She will sometimes go and do it with her toys if I’m washing up etc but mostly definitely wants me and/or DH to do it with.

We try and make sometime just for her when the younger one is napping and try and suggest doing games/puzzles that are difficult to play when he’s around (2 and wrecks everything!). But just wants imaginary play with us constantly.

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Pl242 · 19/12/2020 13:51

How @mooncakes?!

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mooncakes · 19/12/2020 13:54

@Pl242

How *@mooncakes*?!

What do you mean?

I just say no. You are allowed to say no to your 4 year old!
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Pl242 · 19/12/2020 13:55

Oh yes hopefully @ImAllOut. That’s a thought.

I know, like many, I’m just a bit spent after this year.

I completely respect the restrictions that are currently in place. By my word parenting is bloody hard without places to go, play dates, ability to socialise, family to provide a buffer.

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Whenwillow · 19/12/2020 13:56

I hated it and never did it. I really hope I haven't scarred them for life. My parents never played with me at all(child of the 70s and we were expected to entertain ourselves) I'm always up for drawing, crafts and letting the lounge be made over into a fort though.
I just don't have the imagination or what ever it is you need for these games.
Good luck Flowers

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Pl242 · 19/12/2020 13:58

@mooncakes I can obviously say no, but when I’m playing with my child and that’s what they want to do and I say no just because I can’t stand it, I do feel pretty bad.

Particularly as she can’t see any children socially to play freely.

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mooncakes · 19/12/2020 14:00

[quote Pl242]@mooncakes I can obviously say no, but when I’m playing with my child and that’s what they want to do and I say no just because I can’t stand it, I do feel pretty bad.

Particularly as she can’t see any children socially to play freely.[/quote]
Up to you I suppose.

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Pl242 · 19/12/2020 14:01

I suppose for our family it’s on the menu, and I’m fine with that. But when she only wants to do it vs various other options and gets incredibly upset when we say no/cut it short. Just wondering more exactly how to get through doing it without being frustrated/how to move her on from that to other activists without the usual level of upset.

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Pl242 · 19/12/2020 14:01

Other activities

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Fizbosshoes · 19/12/2020 14:06

I feel your pain. I used to play imaginary play for hours with DD and I found it really hard.
My DH and MIL both refused saying they didnt do that sort of thing as if I as a 30 year old woman would actively choose to pretend to be a farmyard animal etc and enjoy it!Hmm my DD really wanted me to play sylvanians etc with her. I put time limits on it, saying we could play for 20 min etc and then encourage her to do something else. I also did loads of crafts and baking involving both DD and DS.

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Reallynotavailable · 19/12/2020 14:08

I HATE imaginary play, it makes me want to poke my eyes out. Give me jigsaw puzzles, colouring, craft, cooking, anything else to play together.

DH does all the imaginary play in this house and he's brilliant at it.

One way to endure it is to have one Bluetooth earphone in, discreetly listening to a podcast while you pretend to buy felt cupcakes at the Ikea play kitchen.

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Regularsizedrudy · 19/12/2020 14:09

I think it would be really horrible to say no. Imaginary play is really important. I think the mistake people make is thinking they somehow need to be an active participant like it’s an improv group or something. Just go with the flow and let yourself be directed by the child. I quite like it, I just zone out and daydream.

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RefuseTheLies · 19/12/2020 14:10

I don't do imaginary play either. I give our 5 year old a list of things I'll happily do with her instead (read to her, bake, go to the park, arts and crafts etc.).

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AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/12/2020 14:12

I hate imaginary play. DD loves it,even at 9. OH did most of it. I sometimes joined in when I wasn't already tired/stressed/busy.

Or I join as a "prop manager". So I dress the dolls up, brush their awfully tangled hair, make things for her dolls house out of bits of material,tidy up/decorate her dolls house etc. That way she still has the impression that I played with her for hours but I'm doing things that I enjoy or at least can cope with.

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MessAllOver · 19/12/2020 14:15

My DS, almost 3, is into imaginary play. I lie on the sofa with my eyes shut and do the voices. He finds that acceptable. If he moans, I pretend my legs aren't working.

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UnbeatenMum · 19/12/2020 14:19

I think it would be fine to set a time limit and then be firm about switching to something else. Perhaps sweeten it by choosing something she also enjoys (play doh, baking, park?) I hate it too and I really cut down on doing it around the time DD2 was old enough to play with DD1.

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TheChineseChicken · 19/12/2020 14:21

I make DH do it

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Limosa · 19/12/2020 14:26

I agree with a pp just do the bits of it you don't mind doing, I tend to dress the dolls, arrange the sylvannians, build the train track etc while she plays with them and chatters to me. I usually descend into sorting her toys out, tidying them and decluttering too as I go but she doesn't seem to mind/notice. I always say yes and sit with her then I often disappear off after 10mins to get a cup of tea after setting it up too and wait to see if she zones into her own little world too, she'll often then carry on for 30mins or so on her own after that.

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doadeer · 19/12/2020 14:28

It's funny because I would love this so much. Dressing up and pretending to be actors or animals, creating Stories and songs. This is my dream play. My son has autism and the only thing he does is move items from room to room and stack them. We read the same book 20x a day

It's lovely to be creative and imaginative. Could you not ask her to come up with a story and you be the narrator or something?

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GlennRheeismyfavourite · 19/12/2020 14:30

OP - I so feel your pain - my 3yo is exactly like this - the whole weekend is a constant 'play with me' she means play dollies or families and spends her whole time telling me 'can you say....' or 'now your dolly needs to.....' I loathe it!!! But feel so guilty if I don't join in!

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Nelbert19 · 19/12/2020 14:30

@MessAllOver

😂🤣😂

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BiscuitDrama · 19/12/2020 14:33

@doadeer

It's funny because I would love this so much. Dressing up and pretending to be actors or animals, creating Stories and songs. This is my dream play. My son has autism and the only thing he does is move items from room to room and stack them. We read the same book 20x a day

It's lovely to be creative and imaginative. Could you not ask her to come up with a story and you be the narrator or something?

In reality it just ends up with me being screeched at because I’m “doing it wrong”.
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