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I can’t cope with my 7.5 month old baby’s overnight wakings anymore!

(33 Posts)
Luce988 Mon 14-Dec-20 23:36:26

I’m actually losing my mind... I have a 7.5 month old who has never really been a good sleeper since he was 3.5 months. I’ve done 3 online sleep courses, I’ve paid a fortune for a private sleep consultant, I’ve researched non stop for weeks, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what’s going on. Baby has 2.5-3 hours of naps per day, across 3 naps (usually something like 45 min/1.5-2 hrs/20-30 min). His wake windows are roughly 2.5 hours. Bedtime at 7pm and he goes down easily. But every single night, he wakes SO FREQUENTLY, and I mean every half hour or less. Then he wakes at 3/4am and screams like he’s being tortured and won’t go back to sleep for at least an hour.

It’s not sleep associations - I don’t feed him or rock him to sleep. In fact I feed him at least half an hour before sleep incase it’s reflux or wind. The room temperature is right, it’s blacked out and we have a white noise machine on.

I’m starting to worry it’s something physiological like an allergy or sleep apnea, but due to covid there’s a huge wait to see a paediatrician and in the meantime, I’m losing my mind! I haven’t slept more than 2-3 hours of broken sleep a night in 5 months and it never gets better!

OP’s posts: |
GingerScallop Mon 14-Dec-20 23:42:41

Am so sorry op. I have no advice just a hug. Do you live with his dad. Can you alternate so that one person gets a full night's sleep in another room then swap next night? In the meantime, try and sleep during his 2.5 hour nap. Hope someone comes along with good advice

june2007 Mon 14-Dec-20 23:43:48

Have you tried feeding him when he wakes?
I presunme you bottle feed but if you bf can you cosleep.?
Have you tried reducing daytime sleeps?
I remember the 4.00 waking for an hour and I can tell you this too will pass. (But yes it is hard work.)

Sway19 Mon 14-Dec-20 23:48:12

Welcome to parenting smile smile smile

Sway19 Mon 14-Dec-20 23:49:27

On a more serious note, have you tried sleep training? It saved my mental health. Our 9 month old baby was waking ever 45 minutes too

KimchiLaLa Mon 14-Dec-20 23:51:19

Hi OP. What are your nap times?

There is a regression at 8 months too. Have you tried to let him cry a little longer and settle himself?

Invisimamma Tue 15-Dec-20 00:21:09

My second ds woke every 30-60 minutes until he was 3 years old. It was hell on earth.

We got some input from a sleep consultant which helped a little but he still woke multiple times a night. Some babies just dont sleep.

He did have a dairy allergy and I think this started the issues but then continued after we sorted that out.

He's now 6 and only wakes a few times a week.

Thatwentbadly Tue 15-Dec-20 00:44:26

Have you ruled out a medical issue like an ear infection? Or teething?

Debradoyourecall Tue 15-Dec-20 08:24:23

Maybe try a night light and no white noise, since darkness and noise aren’t working? Sounds like it can’t get any worse sad

How is the weaning going? Lots of carbs like pasta or rice might help fill him up. You have my deepest sympathy, sleep deprivation is torture.

MaMaD1990 Tue 15-Dec-20 08:45:55

It could be teething - have you given calpol before bed? Also if baby is a wriggler like mine, she used to wake up more in her sleeping bag because she couldn't shift about as much as she liked. Perhaps look into other things baby could sleep in. Sleep regressions are 100% a thing so that could be a reason. You could look into sleep training - it saved my sanity. There are different ways of doing it from cry it out (not for everyone) or my friend used the moving chair method which is gentler.

GirlCalledJames Tue 15-Dec-20 08:54:06

I had one of the same type. We used the gradual retreat (gentle no cry sleep training) at 8 months. She went from waking 8–12 times per night to waking twice the first night, once the second night, and sleeping the whole night within a few weeks. She’s been a perfect sleeper ever since.
(Second baby was much better, but it took a year longer for him to sleep through.)

SleepingStandingUp Tue 15-Dec-20 08:54:09

When did he go into his own room? If it started around then could he come back on or can you safely cosleep?

Reflux? Silent reflux is shit cos it's harder to tell but any night coughing or burping?
Allergies?

What does he sleep in? If it's blankets have you tried a sleeping bag so he's a bit more swaddled?

What overnight feeds? I think we were just about still doing a dream feed at that age at midnight which stopped (mostly) the wake upa

2020newmum Tue 15-Dec-20 10:08:08

Does he definitely need 3 naps a day OP? I dropped a nap at around 7 months so DS now has two a day. His wake windows are 2.5 hours followed by 3 and 3.5 hours. Could it be worth a try?

Eggcellent29 Tue 15-Dec-20 10:14:17

Ok, I’m going to throw a totally different approach in here.

you say you don’t rock/cuddle him to sleep - why not? What do you do when he wakes? Perhaps a cuddle would soothe and settle him?

Three naps and 2.5 wws does seem too much/very short for this age.

dinosforall Tue 15-Dec-20 10:17:53

We did pick up put down for both dc when they got to the hellish "waking every 45 mins" phase. Sorted in 3 nights.

2020newmum Tue 15-Dec-20 10:25:29

Three naps and 2.5 wws does seem too much/very short for this age.

I agree - I think this could be the issue OP!

Luce988 Tue 15-Dec-20 10:31:31

Hi,

I used to feed him to sleep for a long time but we had a lot of issues after a while (2/3am wake ups) and suspected reflux, so I stopped and rocked him to sleep but he'd go to sleep easier with my husband because I think he was frustrated I wasn't feeding him. Under the guidance of a sleep consultant (I couldn't leave him to cry), we cuddled him to sleep in his cot (with the side down next to our bed), and now we just need to hold his hand. Getting him to sleep is actually easy - but the constant wake ups are a killer! even if we stay right next to him holding his hand. He screams like he's being tortured, especially at 4am, and nothing we do calms him down - feeding does nothing, holding/cuddling doesn't do anything.

OP’s posts: |
Luce988 Tue 15-Dec-20 10:44:29

Oh he sleeps in a bamboo sleeping bag! And I feed him once in the night at 12/1am. I have in the past done it at 3/4am too, but it made no difference to him crying in the morning, he'd just feed and continue crying. He doesn't wake for feeds, it's for comfort as far as I can tell. He's 7.5 months.

OP’s posts: |
ChakaDakotaRegina Tue 15-Dec-20 10:50:54

At 8m I had to sleep train (waking every 40m to scream in my face) because I was getting seriously depressed. It helped in a day - both of us. I wish I’d done it sooner.
Can you try (in the daytime) putting him down awake and leaving him when he wakes up and see if he learns to sleep longer? They just seem to need to click that they don’t need anything from you.

My sympathies though. One of the women at work had one that just wouldn’t sleep. She had to give up her job for a while.

Caspianberg Tue 15-Dec-20 11:05:10

Sympathies, my 7.5 month old is exactly the same. Naps fine (2-3 hrs per day), goes to bed fine, not fed to sleep, not cold or warm.

He. Just.does.not.sleep. Wakes every 1-2 hrs. Screams until he is sick and head butts cot if left longer than a minute.

crazychemist Tue 15-Dec-20 11:05:28

I’d suggest reading the gentle sleep book. I’m afraid it’s very normal for children to wake at night (and adults too). Some are able to nod off quickly, others aren’t. A slight discomfort e.g. soggy nappy, slight hunger, discomfort from lying in one position for a while can mean they don’t resettle easily. It’s a very modern idea to think that babies should be able to sleep without parents, and some just aren’t ready for it until they are much older.

Try tweaking to get some more daytime sleep in? Sounds like it could be over tiredness, my DD would be like that if we’d had a busy day or if her naps were poor.

If that doesn’t work, you can sleep train. But if your child is waking because they re uncomfortable etc, you are training them that you won’t respond to their needs.... You have already said that they can self settle so it isn’t that they need to learn how.

UnicornAndSparkles Tue 15-Dec-20 11:19:47

My daughter was v similar, she had silent reflux and it almost broke me! If you even suspect reflux please see you gp and get some meds. Ranitadine helped my dd. We also bed shared when needed (safely) and I bf her to sleep when needed. Could you try either of these things? Comfort feeding is v normal at this age.

Cherry85 Tue 15-Dec-20 11:50:39

I THOROUGHLY recommend the little ones sleep programme. Our baby took to it within three or four days. From our baby class the three of us that use it have babies that sleep significantly better than the others AND it has a money back guarantee

Aurora791 Tue 15-Dec-20 11:54:53

Look up lyndsey hookway on Instagram. Really helps to rationalise things when we we’re having g tough sleep and has helped me out mentally a few times!

princessannachops Tue 15-Dec-20 12:56:52

What did sleep consultant say? Ours said no sugary food in the evening so no white bread/pasta/fruit
Also I'd probably drop a nap in order to get them to sleep.
In the end dd had reflux and dairy intolerance . Will be worth telling dr about it so they can check anything you might not have thought about yet such as dairy intolerance. We ended up getting a little cushion that propped her up so she wasn't flat at night as this helps with the reflux.
Good luck op

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