2 week old in hospital - feeling overwhelmed - hand holding please

[Chalalala90]

Hi everyone

So my beautiful 2 week old son is in hospital. We’ve been here since he was 7 days old. He has some kind of infection which is impacting his breathing.

Due to covid, only one parent is allowed on the ward. I’m breastfeeding so my partner has come in to visit for an hour or so at a time whilst I go and wander the corridors of the hospital.

I’m not feeling great in myaelf - I’m recovering from a EMCS and my wound has become infected so I’m on antibiotics. That alongside the sheer exhaustion, I’m not in a great place. I’m getting a couple of hours sleep a day, due to feeding and my son being very fussy and constantly wanting to be held (understandable when he’s so poorly). It just feels a lot to be dealing with on my own. I just want to sleep for a few hours, but the hospital rules won’t allow my partner to watch our son whilst I do this.

My partner has offered for me to go back to my parents for a few hours this afternoon (they’ll need to pick me up as I can’t drive due to CS) to have a shower and sleep. I don’t know what to do though - he’s 2 weeks old and my initial reaction is that I don’t want to leave him at all. But I’m also so so tired, I’m worried I’m burning myself out. Especially when we’re likely to be in here another week or so.

Any advice /guidance/general hand holding would be amazing - Everything feels too much at the moment.

[Windinmyhair]

Put your mask on before you put your children's mask on. Or more to the point - you need to make sure you are strong enough and looked after enough to be there for your son.

Go, have a shower, get some decent food and change of clothes etc.

can you express or leave a bottle of formula for emergencies?

Your Son is in the best place possible. You are recovering from major surgery. take some time to give yourself the energy to carry on.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation, and it is 10 x worse with covid. But please look after yourself. xx

[LittleMissSunshine2020]

Hi,
A similar thing happened to me. My son is now 6 weeks old and we've been home for 4.
Those oxygen monitoring machines are horrific with the constant beeping too. I know it feels like you can't sleep but just try your best to get a few hours. Your baby is in the best possible place.
Do you live close to the hospital? Is there any chance someone can take you home for an hour when you swap so you can have a nap in your own bed and have a shower where you feel comfortable. I don't know if this is good advice or not (as I'm combi feeding) but could you express breast milk so your partner could stay a little longer while you rest?

I really feel for you. Hopefully you won't be in for too long. Babies are very resilient ❤️

[chickenninja]

Go back to your parents this afternoon. You need to. You need to look after yourself to be in the best possible shape to look after him.
My DD was in hospital for ten days after she was born, she was in a cooling incubator so I couldn't hold her and they didn't have facilities for us stay. I can safely say leaving that hospital to go home and sleep it was like leaving a limb behind.
It's horrendous to be separated from your newborn but he will be okay while you are gone and he'll probably just be asleep. The nurses in neonatal are amazing and they will call you if there are any issues.
You're a good mum and you need to look after yourself.

[Audreyseyebrows]

Bless you @Chalalala90! Sounds really stressful.
You can’t look after your little one if you are empty.

Have a shower and a nap. Try it! If it doesn’t work at least you tried. Your baby is in safe hands.

[Bookworming]

I understand, but you must must must look after you. You need to stay well to look after your DS. You need sleep and you can then look after your DS.

Sending you all good wishes and home you are both home soon.

[nervousnelly8]

I have a 2 week old as well - it's a difficult enough time without the worry of having a poorly baby in the hospital. All of those clichéd sayings apply here - you can't pour from an empty cup etc. You need to look after your own physical and mental wellbeing to support your DS. Go to your parents place, have someone look after you for a few hours, get some sleep. The world will look a whole load brighter.

[Chalalala90]

Thank you so much for all your lovely responses, they mean a lot. The rational part of me completely agrees with all of your advice in ensuring I’m looking after myself too and I know he will be safe here. I think I’m just struggling to come to terms with this being how my sons first few weeks of life are and feeling a bit sorry for myself. I didn’t manage it today, I got myself too worked up but I’ve planned to do it tomorrow for the day whilst his dad stays with him on the ward. X

[Felinewoman]

When my dd was in hospital because if bronchiolitis the nurses offered to watch her for a few hours so I could get some sleep. Is that an option?
She was older at the time but it was also during covid in summer

[Cherrytangfastic]

Bless you. You'll feel so much better after some rest tomorrow and your boy will be fine. Try not to feel guilty! It's so so hard without being stuck in hospital, sleep deprivation is awful.

[OnYourSix]

I'm a children's nurse, please please speak to the nurse looking after you about how you're feeling. It may be that they can speak to the ward manager to offer some exceptional circumstances for you, or be able to watch your baby tonight to allow you to get some sleep. You're important too, and you need to be well in order to look after your baby. Popping off the ward for a sleep and shower while your husband looks after the baby sounds like a great idea, its daunting especially when you're exclusively breastfeeding but I hope you feel able to tomorrow and feel a bit more human for it.

[Gardeniaofdelights]

Oh my love, what a stressful and difficult time.

Take the opportunity for rest. Put your own oxygen mask on first. You will be all the better for it

[nervousnelly8]

@Chalalala90 be kind to yourself! Its completely normal to feel robbed of your first few weeks at home. I had similar feelings with my first as I struggled to recover from birth injuries - I didn't feel like I got my lovely newborn bubble at all. The arrival of number 2 has brought those feelings back again, but the truth is that all of the amazing things that we had over the following months (DS is now nearly 2) have more than made up for the early days. In time, hopefully this time will fade away for you too - you just need to get through it now with as little impact on your mental health as possible. Sending good vibes.

[Emelene]

How are you doing today @Chalalala90? Thinking of you, I was admitted when my boy was a few days old and that was only overnight and I found it stressful and hard. Sounds like you're doing an amazing job, I hope baby gets well soon.