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If I left my husband...

(8 Posts)
elderflower25 Sat 12-Dec-20 10:31:45

I am unsure if I want to be with my husband anymore. We have a 6 month old baby who is EBF but has started to eat solids now but she still has breast milk on demand and a couple of times throughout the night. My husband is a great dad and adores her so I would want him to still see her a lot but I'm not ready to leave her overnight or her to be away from me all day yet. Would I be made to leave her? She refuses a bottle so he couldn't give her a bottle of milk. I would be very happy for my husband to come and see her and spend the day with her wherever we was living. This is incredibly sad and I have no idea why I'm feeling like this 😔 I'm not about to throw in the towel but I'm just running things through my mind. I don't even know if I'm thinking logically, i don't know if I could do this to our daughter, I want her to grow up with her mum and dad together so much.

OP’s posts: |
Lullaby88 Sat 12-Dec-20 11:34:41

Im sure by law you would have to look after her most of the time is she is breast fed but might need double checking..
Sorry to hear you are going through this. Have u started feeling like this after you had your daughter? Or has it been an ongoing thing for a while? If it is a recent feeling then maybe take some time to think things through. It is really tough and I can understand how hard it would feel to be apart from your daughter for a full night..

user1936863452 Sat 12-Dec-20 11:36:20

Why are you thinking about leaving him if he's so great?

JackyFrost Sat 12-Dec-20 11:37:50

Do you thinkyou may have PND? Maybe talking to someone, even your hubby and let them know you are feeling like this


elderflower25 Sat 12-Dec-20 12:03:49

@user1936863452 he is a great dad, they have a lovely bond. I'm just not sure we are right for each other anymore, there are a few things that I struggle to imagine dealing with for the rest of my life. We were young when we got together so have changed as people quite a lot.

The issues that I'm having were there before our daughter was born but they didn't seem to bother me as much! However since having her they have become difficult to ignore. His family is also incredibly hard to deal with and bully me quite regularly, they cause me constant stress and upset and I don't know if I want to deal with them forever.

I do have postpartum anxiety which I'm getting help for but I've always had anxiety so that's nothing new.

OP’s posts: |
Thatwentbadly Sat 12-Dec-20 13:27:34

I don’t know what your husband has done but unless there is abuse I would wait until your little one is a year old before making a final decision. Your life has just been turned upside down and if your like me your oxytocin (love hormone) is all being triggered and fulfilled by your child. I think this does put your relationship in a pause mode.

I’m not saying you should stay with him indefinitely (and not at if there is abuse) but it maybe that potentially you could work on the issues as a couple when you have a bit more time/space.

The issues with his family I would try and resolve now. Either he stands up to them or you spend less time together or both.

Itllbeaninterestingchristmas Sat 12-Dec-20 13:41:24

Don’t rush into leaving. It’s a bit strange after having a baby. I hated DH after my first. He was being a bit of a part as well. I didn’t really want anything to do with him really for months. I thought I’d escaped those feelings this time round but DD is 4 months old and I don’t want to know. Again there are a few different things we need to sort this time but they are not major and his is generally doing a lot to help. I still not happy with him. It should pass in a month or two.
Everything about DH is irritating at the moment, thankfully he’s very busy at work and he’s hardly home. I do keep encouraging him to concentrate on work to keep him out of my way.

Rainbowsmiles82 Sat 12-Dec-20 15:46:14

I’m also feeling like you OP. I think I want to end my relationship with my partner but due to finances and pride I can’t do it at the moment. We have been together since school and have 2 fantastic children, aged 4 and 1. His family have made things very difficult at times and my partner can’t see why I don’t want to be around them or for the children to see them. The last time we saw them it ended in a huge argument which my oldest child heard. I’m so low. Sorry to hijack your post. Take care

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