lost my rag with dd

Has she caused the mess or was it the mess of the house getting you down do you think?

I think its very important that, at 9, you speak to her about what happened. Explain why you got angry. Explain that you shouldn't have shouted. Apologise for shouting at her. Explain what you should have done instead. Ask for her suggestions on how you bith can avoid situations like this going forwards - ie how she can help you with the mess.

The most important thing here is that you discuss and apologise. If you want her to be able to control her temper, you need to model the same behaviour, and take the same responsibility for your screwups as you would expect her to do for hers.

Absolutely agree with pp - it's not about the rupture; it's how you repair it that counts.

Hey. No advice really but just to say I’m really struggling with a short fuse right now. My kids are awesome but they are not listening to me enough right now. It’s depressing, I feel like I do so much for them and don’t have anything fun in my life to lift my spirits. Do you feel the same at all?
I’m putting some thought into better consequences and treats I can use, rather than flipping my lid.