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Totally fed up

(19 Posts)
Ilovesweets123 Thu 03-Dec-20 16:55:32

Firstly, I am extremely grateful to have two healthy children. I have a 17 month old and a 5 week old.
I am finding life so hard right now. I am in tier 3, meaning I can't meet up with anyone. I know I can meet up with one other person outside... but it is constantly raining and and cold that I don't feel comfortable taking my newborn in it as she would be in the sling.
The days are so long (husband is at work 7-6). My newborn can't be put down for more than 2 minutes without crying so she lives in the sling. I feel so guilty on my toddler as we can't go out to clubs or anything. We can't afford nursery so she doesn't see any other children.
I just wake up and just dread the day ahead. My newborn is obviously up throughout the night so it is just 24/7.
I don't have hardly any friends in the city I live as I moved to my husbands city when I married him.
I don't have any family (my parents have passed away) and my sister lives two hours away. I have a bubble with my mother in law (since the rules changed and I can form a bubble with her as I have a child under one) but she works full time so am on my own anyway during the week.
Anyone else just absolutely fed up with everything atm? ☹

OP’s posts: |
Thatwentbadly Thu 03-Dec-20 17:00:28

As you have a child under 2 you can now bubble with another household. But yes it’s fucking hard at the moment.

Thatwentbadly Thu 03-Dec-20 17:02:22

Sorry just read the bottom bit properly. I’m struggling too, my kids are 1 and 4 and we can’t bubble with anyone as my husband is ECV. Is mush still around? Maybe you could go on a pram walk with someone from there.

frolicmum Thu 03-Dec-20 17:02:38

Hello, my heart goes out to you! It must be so tough! Have you thought about wrapping up baby, put her in the sling and go to the playground. A chat with another mother here and there might help? Maybe join one of the mum boards on baby centre and see if there is a local mum in a similar position and you could meet at the park? I know the weather is horrible but wrap up, and just get out as it might help your mental health and your toddler to let off some steam/ energy.

I have no real advice as I would feel exactly like you do.

Superscientist Thu 03-Dec-20 17:06:25

I have a 4 month old and have been under tier 3 or local restrictions for all except 3 weeks of her life. It is so draining.
No words of advice but you have my sympathy.

Ilovesweets123 Thu 03-Dec-20 17:08:33

@Superscientist it must have been so lonely. Not what you imagine maternity leave would be like. Hope you are OK.

OP’s posts: |
Ilovesweets123 Thu 03-Dec-20 17:09:49

@Thatwentbadly @frolicmum maybe I should just go out, I guess it would be good for my mental health.
I honestly get SO jealous that mu husband is going to work.

OP’s posts: |
Thatwentbadly Thu 03-Dec-20 17:16:41

It’s still really early days with your new baby. And 2 under 2 is tough anyway. Do you drive? Can you drive to a park for 30 mins a couple of hours a week. Or even just go and get a drive through coffee.

3inthefuckingmorning Thu 03-Dec-20 18:49:01

I feel for you so much. The first lockdown I was at home with a baby and a 3 year old and it was horrendous.

Two children of them ages must be hard enough in normal circumstances.

There is light at the end of the tunnel now, cling on to that thought!

Diverseduvet Thu 03-Dec-20 18:51:18

Please wrap up and take the children out everyday. It will be great for all of you.

Ilovesweets123 Thu 03-Dec-20 20:33:57

@Diverseduvet I feel awful now sad have I really let my toddler down by not taking her out every day? sad I feel like I can't do anything right sad

OP’s posts: |
3inthefuckingmorning Thu 03-Dec-20 20:37:03

You have not let your toddler down at all. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. You are keeping your family safe and that is the priority right now. Your children won't remember this. Keep them fed and warm and loved , and that is enough right now.

BigPlanes Thu 03-Dec-20 20:41:04

You are still in the trenches. If you manage to get all three of you fed you are doing wells

However, you will eventually feel better going out every few days. Your kids need love, to be cleaned and fed. They are really little and you are their world. Can you find a local Facebook group for mums-I’ve met lots of great friends that way? It is miserable just now but you could arrange a walk occasionally. Could you see it there any museums open for indoor stuff?

thecakebadge Thu 03-Dec-20 20:44:17

Don’t be silly of course you haven’t let her down. She won’t remember any of this anyway.
But it might be easier on you if you do get out and about, even just for a walk with the buggy to the park. You don’t have to go out every day, sod the puddlesuit brigade, going out in the pissing rain can be miserable for all involved. But when the weather is ok just get out and you’ll feel so much better. I would go insane if I was stuck at home all day.

Roselilly36 Thu 03-Dec-20 21:04:46

You are doing your best OP, so don’t be hard on yourself, you have a new baby. I had my two close, 21mth gap, your little toddler is even younger and won’t remember this period of time, so try not to stress about it. It will get easier. As long as you are all fed, warm & safe nothing else matters.

Diverseduvet Thu 03-Dec-20 21:11:00

I didn't mean you've let her down! Getting out will benefit all of you.

Ihaveoflate Thu 03-Dec-20 22:36:08

Get in touch with your HV and ask what local parent support groups are running. I am in tier 3 and there are groups that have rebranded as 'support' so they can continue under the rules. It might be worth asking on local FB groups or at the GP if your HV is crap.

ASomers Fri 04-Dec-20 18:21:37

No advice but to say you're amazing to be looking after 2 small children, especially during lockdown/tier restrictions. I have a 3 month old and it all got on top of me today. I don't know how I'd cope with 2! You're doing so well xx

PippinStar Fri 04-Dec-20 19:25:30

I have a 21 month old and a 3 month old and it’s so hard (and I have family nearby). I really feel for you. When I get really fed up, I put them in the double buggy with footmuffs, hats, and raincovers. I give the toddler snacks and just walk for an hour or more. If nothing else, I get to enjoy some silence.

I also try to stagger their naps so I have one-on-one time with each, but it means I have no time to myself until the evening.

Sorry, I don’t have more advice. I just try to take it hour by hour and celebrate the little milestones each one achieves as it means they’re getting a little bit more independent. And I look forward to wine at weekends!

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