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2.5 year old tantrums...how to stop them?!

(7 Posts)
Fearnecuptea Wed 02-Dec-20 10:09:27

Hello!

So I'm hoping some parents who have been through this stage can give me some insight/ tips/ tell me when in gods name it ends...

My 2.5 year old is funny, lively, adorable, clever, I mean you get the picture. He's absolutely a joy to be around....when he's getting his own way/ when everything is proceeding in a way he is completely happy with.

If, for example, we need to do anything to a speedy timeline he goes mental. I give him 4-5 chances, warn him that we're going out, need to put our shoes on, need to put our coat on, change his nappy (whatever it may be) and he will just go berserk if he doesn't feel like doing it.

When I say berserk, its crying, screaming, biting, hitting, kicking! It started maybe a month ago and we're had no major changes at home. I've tried leaving him to thrash it out and sitting in a close spot, turning away slightly and waiting for him to come over for a cuddle, but it doesn't always work! in fact, yesterday he came over and proceeded to punch me.

I don't want to raise a spoiled kid but at the same time hate to see him so distressed and unable to cope with these new emotions.

I guess what I am asking is, is anyone else going through this? crazy tantrums at this age? and when do they "grow out" of it? (do they grow out of it?)

Tantrums are happening around 2 times a day atm. Doesn't seem to matter what we do to pre-empt them/ avoid them, the meltdown always seems to happen when leaving the house and just before coming back into the house!

Any advice would be much appreciated!
Thanks

OP’s posts: |
mindutopia Wed 02-Dec-20 10:22:49

At this age, they are too little to understand consequences or to reason with. You either sit and wait patiently for the tantrum to end or re-direct them to something else. Or if not possible (you need to get out the door), you put shoes on, pick them up and go, whether they like or not. Consequences work a lot better when they are 3-4, but they just don’t have the cognitive ability for that sort of thinking, especially when upset, at 2. But I impress good manners, listening, please and thank you, etc the rest of the time when they are calm and not in meltdown mode.

Thatwentbadly Wed 02-Dec-20 11:52:59

Tantrums are completely normal. My daughter also struggled with transition and yes they mostly grow out it although my 4 year old had one the other Friday night after school because she couldn’t walk on both sides of the street at the same time hmm

I recommend the book how to talk so little people listen. As the PP said consequences don’t work because a tantruming child can’t be logically as they are overwhelmed with emotions.

Abouttimemum Wed 02-Dec-20 14:18:35

Following for tips with interest as DS 20 months loves a tantrum. I use avoidance tactics generally but if we are in a rush and I don’t have time to play it right it’s chaos!

VettiyaIruken Wed 02-Dec-20 14:22:52

You can't.
Toddlers will always tantrum. It's a natural part of their development.

You can only try to handle them and help guide them through that phase.
Distraction, anticipating and diverting, waiting it out, acknowledging their emotions etc etc.

It's a tough stage. flowers

madcatladyforever Wed 02-Dec-20 14:33:01

I.m pretty sure all 2 year olds do this. My son who has always been very placid and well behaved was awful at 2. I just ignored it or distracted but if he tried to bite kick or punch he'd be in his room for time out. That is not acceptable. Id sit outside until hed calmed down but he learnt very quickly that violence was not acceptable.

Somethingvague Wed 02-Dec-20 14:58:51

Just to say, my 2.5 year old is also like this. Otherwise normal development, but insane tantrums when he doesn't like something. I'm hoping it's just peak terrible twos.

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