This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Horrible family dispute.(12 Posts)
Hello. I'll try break this down as quick as I can. Basically I have this mum that's not or never has really been a mum. Just one to throw money at you and think it masks over showing love. I have 3 children 1 been my stepchild. She doesn't accept my step child or my youngest. But is obsessed with my daughter. She's a constantl negative vibe she calls me out on all aspects of my parenting when she was NEVER a parent at all. Says my kids are treat like robots because they have meal times and bed times. Again this is because I was up till god nose what time with her. I've recently stopped her seeing all kids as she openly admitted she didn't have to take my step child out because she is nothing to Do with him, but also won't take her grandson out either only my daughter. I've had grief every week when I used to speak to her because I don't take lightly to people telling me how to parent. Since I haven't spoke to her my mental health's improved so much! She's recently had people come to my house and people ring me carrying on with me threatening court to see my daughter etc. I'm drained I think am I doing the right thing? She doesn't listen to me when I ask her to feed my child and the times I ask e.g dinner at 11.30 because that's when she gets hungry and has her dinner at nursery at that time too, driving around all the time with my child in the back all day. I just want her out my life but she said " your daughter will hate you when your older for taking her away from me" I do really feel bad on my child because she really was close to her but I can't have my sons growing up wondering why there not wanted by there nana but my daughter is? I don't no what to think anymore.
I would have no issue going no contact. Your children deserve better.
No contact 100%. Think of how your poor son will feel when he becomes aware of it, that’s so toxic. If you feel better, it’s what you need to do. It wouldn’t surprise me if she would try to poison your daughter against you!
Your child, your terms. Personally I would go no contact if she can’t stick to your rules. Grandparents are supposed to add to your children’s lives, not detract from them. Personally I would insist she treats them all equally, otherwise she sees none of them. Your son is particular will be damaged by the way she is treating him.
Its almost as if she wants your daughter to replace you as "the daughter" that she doesn't have the perfect relationship with. She had her time to do that, don't allow her to fuck your daughter or sons up with her selfish ways.
You are definitely doing the right thing. For you and your son but also probably for your daughter as she sounds like an awful person.
I can’t imagine anyone will take her very seriously if she tries to get visits with your dd but not ds. Pretty sure that shows her true colours.
Good luck with her going to court to see your DD and excluding your Ds. Can’t see the courts thinking that’s in your DC best interests. Stay strong as it will be hard remaining NC with your mother but keep yours DC in the forefront of your mind. I couldn’t sit back and allow my mum to exclude one of my DC. I do find it odd that her flying monkeys see nothing wrong with that!
You’re doing the right thing. Well done.
Only just got back on this. Thankyou everyone since this I've had constant following to schools and things. I've kept my distance and not had nothing to do with her. She will not make my children feel different I'll make sure of that. Thank you all for your input it was needed!
It might be worth mentioning to school and make them aware that she is not to ever be allowed to take your children out of school.
Is she getting people to call you over this? Have a look at the term Flying Monkeys. There's a few videos about them on YouTube
@JingleJohnsJulie hi! Yes she is getting people to call me. I've wanted to move for a while as she is very toxic I have anxiety and she makes me so on edge when I take the kids too school as she will pull up and start talking to my kids which confuses them because they haven't seen her
My "D"M was very neglectful and we're not close but your Mum sounds bonkers. Did you have a look at flying monkeys?
If you want to move, I'd do it. My DF had done it with her M and never looked back. She will try all sorts of things but it's better for you and your children to not have someone this toxic in your life.
Until you can move, have you tried changing your Mobile number and only giving it to one person at a time so that you can monitor if it's being passed on. Have you got caller display at home too.
Don't be afraid of taking out a non-molestation order either. If she did ever try to get access to the children the Judge would see that's there's history.
Please login first.