My ex and I have been divorced for over 5 years, we have 2 daughters 8 and 18 and the custody is 50/50.
We both had moved on in our private lives and our partners play a positive role in children's lives. Well , mostly DD2 life, she doesn't remember mummy and daddy living together, so so far has been just going with the flow happy and relaxed.
Completely different situation with my DD1 who was a teenager when we separated and she stayed with her father due to him living near her school. Our relationship was going smoothly until she started asking me about very private experiences that her father and I shared. Turns out he was oversharing with his sister my daughter overheard. I told her that it was not something for her to know,and that she would understand when she grows up.
I addressed it with my ex,but he said that he was free to tell his sister anything and if DD1 heard it then it is what it is.
Since then she went NC with me for 2 years, at no point my ex tried to help me to talk to her to try and build a relationship. Thankfully eventually she got back in touch, and we now have a lovely relationship.
Recently my DD8 started to almost regressing when she is home: huge tantrums when I ask her to do her usual routine, teeth/hair brushing. Rude,not saying her pleases and thank yous. So many small things: became super fussy eater, refuses to wear a choice of clothing that she picked earlier herself. I feel that anything I ask of her is annoying to her. When we have a cuddle she is so sweet and keeps telling me how much she loves me,but little second I ask her to do something she screams at me with such a hatred. I'm so lost.
Maybe I have a ptsd from how it went with DD1, but i know that my ex is not going to help me but only be happy if anything to go wrong . I also know (from DD1) that when my DD2 is with her dad it is his partner that mostly looks after her and that she is not encouraged to do anything and usually just gets what she wants.
I'm really scared that she will start resenting me for trying to parent her,as I just want what is best for her.
Has anyone ever have been in a similar situation?
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Possible alienation of DD8
10 replies
thecatmother · 27/11/2020 17:54
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