Language arts/13 yr old

[Ihavehadenoughalready]

My 13 yr old says he hates to read, hates to write, and that everything having to do with his language arts class (USA) is "stupid".

We're all virtual right now, probably through the foreseeable future.

He will do his math, his social studies, his science, his German language assignments, but is refusing to do reading and writing assignments.

I work full time. My ex works full time. Neither of us can sit with him for every virtual class (although I try to be available on the two school days he is with me).

Ex has trusted son to do his work without any supervision. This has proved to be grossly ineffective and has put the burden on me to try and catch him up with stuff he's behind on on the days he's with me.

I have read out loud to son, helped him write very short reading log stuff he is supposed to turn in, but it's gotten to the point that he will no longer cooperate with me. He sits in virtual class during language arts and does not participate. He will not answer the teacher. He will not work in small groups with other students. He sits there like a lump.

I am torn between thinking he has severe anxiety when it comes to this subject he hates and thinking he is being a stubborn brat.

I have decided that whichever it is, he can face the consequences of his problem with this class. I have reached out to his teacher, but she was less than helpful. For his part, he will not interact with his teachers or ask for any help with writing through emails or attending "office hours" that allow kids to get extra help from their teachers.

My question I guess is, is this normal for a kid to just shut down in one subject? And given the pandemic, I can't see any way of solving this problem. Do I stop worrying and let him fail this class? I don't see any other choice that doesn't involve bolting him to a chair or just telling him what to write which of course will teach him nothing. 🤔

I abhorred language arts in school, too, but because I had a fear of failing, I managed to turn in assignments. Apparently my son just does not care if he fails.

Perhaps the fact that the assignments he's given in language arts seem way above even my own ability to analyze characters and plots and whatnot and I think the teacher is asking way too much of her students may color my stance on my attitude. If I had to fill out all these plot diagrams and analyze everything i was reading I certainly would not want to read anything either. What a joy-kill.

So, without running an actual poll, is it OK if I leave to him the responsibility of his own language arts class and let this 13 yr old kid face the consequences of not doing his work?

[Ginandplatonic]

I’m not sure what “language arts” is, but in general I don’t think it’s unreasonable - and is in fact a good idea - to let a teenager face the consequence of his actions. Sorry can’t give you a more specific answer without knowing more.

[BefuddledPerson]

I think I would try to have a separate conversation with him around:

• why he hates it so much
• what he thinks will be the impact to him longer term of failing the subject
• what he thinks he should reasonably be doing

I don't think you can make him engage in the online lessons.

Does he struggle with it practically - therefore a tutor might help?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Sone very good suggestions on here already. I'd also suggest getting his eyesight checked.

If he's having difficulty focusing on a text it's going to make things so much harder fir him.

[popof3]

Sounds like a balancing act. Be on him most of the time or trust he can take routine responsibilities without some supervision. I remember doing much better in my lessons when I was less supervised starting around 10 or 11, but each child is different. Cannot remember my mum or dad doing a solid and do my homework for me. It'll work out somehow.

[PinkyParrot]

I used to say I 'hated' reading books when I was a bit older than that then we got Lord of the Flies as a school book. Completely blown away by it.
What about harry potter books - they got my DS reading.
Those old fashioned superhero comics - Superman etc.
Are there books or comics associated with Gaming?
So many children's books nowadays have a moral rather than just a good story.
I would think he is not very good and feels spotlighted on Zoom, or whatever, and fears being humiliated. Also possibly self conscious.