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DD almost mute since breaking her hip

(46 Posts)
SophStressed Sat 21-Nov-20 21:58:55

A bit under two weeks ago she (11) decided to ride down a hill in a little pushcart while at a friends house. Obviously you can see where this is going, which is more than she managed at the time but what can you do. sigh.

She spent a few days in traction before being put in a spica cast (From her armpits to her ankle on her bad leg, and to her knee on her good leg. thlangry ). It was at the hospital I noticed she was acting a bit differently, but I put it down to the stress/trauma of what happened and gave her some time.

She's back home now, but not much has changed. Before this she was a very talkative and bubbly girl, and we were very close. Now she still doesn't talk and I have to ask her about pretty much everything. We keep everything she needs around her bed so she can at least be a teensy bit independent, but I still have to be her full time carer and that's made so much harder by her lack of responses. It's at the point where asking if she's comfy isn't enough and I have to ask her specific "Yes/No" for if she needs to be rolled or needs a pee or anything.

Any advice is appreciated, I'm not sure if this is a rant or desperation, but I miss my cheery girl

OP’s posts: |
Bunnybigears Sat 21-Nov-20 22:05:23

Has she been like this from immediately after the accident or is it new? I would be concerned about any missed head injuries such as bruising on the brain she still under a consultant at the hospital?

WhoseThatGirl Sat 21-Nov-20 22:07:21

I’d be extremely concerned about it if I was you. She needs to be assessed for brain injury.

SophStressed Sat 21-Nov-20 22:10:00

She had a an exam during her admission so we're fairly certain it's not that but it might be worth bringing up to the GP.... She actually seemed to be getting cheerier when in traction, but after surgery was the main drop we noticed. :S

OP’s posts: |
AIMD Sat 21-Nov-20 22:10:17

As above posters said. I’d be wanting to make sure there wasn’t anything missed from the original injury. I assume she took quite a tumble out of the cart.

Buzlightyear1 Sat 21-Nov-20 22:10:37

First I would check she hasn’t had a head injury. They really do change people behaviour, and emotional response. Also she is probably in shock it’s a very big thing to go through. She may be also feeling a bit shy about the amount of help she needs as she is normally independent to go to this is a massive change. I was hit by a car I was 21 so a lot older but had similar injury and brain injury and few other bits. It really takes it out of you, be patient and keep doing what you are. You are doing great just show her as much love as possible as I’m sure you are. It’s so hard on you as well.

GoldenZigZag Sat 21-Nov-20 22:13:10

Brain injuries are extremely unpredictable, they can take days, weeks, months or even years to present. I would get her checked out ASAP.

Best of luck, what a terrible time for you all.

Bunnybigears Sat 21-Nov-20 22:13:42

Definitely speak to the GP even if its not a physical brain injury she obviously needs help, maybe some counselling/therapy etc

ComDummings Sat 21-Nov-20 22:13:52

She’s gone through a lot. Surgery is brutal on its own without the accident and all the recovery. So it could be emotional trauma, PTSD or a missed head injury. Definitely see if you can get her to a doctor because either way she needs help. It must be so tough for you all.

TheYearOfSmallThings Sat 21-Nov-20 22:14:45

Is she on a lot of medication I wonder?

SophStressed Sat 21-Nov-20 22:15:54

It had crossed my mind a few times early on that it might be a head injury or concussion or something, but reassured myself that they'd have caught it. The chance they've missed something is kind of worrying though, I think I'll be giving them a phone sharpish....

And I'm trying to be patient, as it must be a lot to adjust to, and she very much dislikes needing help. I'm just worried

OP’s posts: |
RishiMcRichface Sat 21-Nov-20 22:17:14

Definitely talk to her doctor. It could just be the shock of the accident, but needs checking out.

Smallsteps88 Sat 21-Nov-20 22:18:14

Agree with others about getting her brain checked.

Aside from that- she’s suffered trauma. She may still be in shock. Also, depressed? She is stuck in bed and can do nothing for herself. She can’t do anything she did before. Her life has changed massively with (I presume) a long time to go before she will be back to normal. That’s a massive thing to process for anyone let alone an 11 year old. She may benefit from some counselling.

TW2013 Sat 21-Nov-20 22:18:35

It is incredibly frustrating going from being fine one day to virtually immobile the next, not to mention the pain. Although people try to help, there is always more that you just don't feel you could ask on top of what you already had. She may too have been somehow thinking 'once I get home it will all be ok' and of course it isn't yet. Plus she might feel a bit embarrassed, especially if anyone is saying stuff like 'you silly billy' even in a joking way. I agree to raise it with the hospital/GP, it maybe something longer term or it might ease once she is more mobile and able to do more for herself. I still don't feel the same person that I was before my accident and in some ways I am more cautious, but in otherways I live life in the moment more. I take fewer risks but appreciate things around me more.

TheYearOfSmallThings Sat 21-Nov-20 22:18:48

Btw I take it the circumstances of the accident have been verified? ie that it was entirely her choice to go down a hill in a cart? (No judgement, I would have done it)

Mycircusmymonkey Sat 21-Nov-20 22:22:12

I think ruling out a head injury first is definitely a good idea. Is she still in the cast?
It could well be that she is quite traumatised by the whole experience and she just needs time and a whole lot of nurturing.

aidelmaidel Sat 21-Nov-20 22:22:58

Suddenly becoming disabled, even temporarily, is huge. There's every chance she's epically miserable but going silent is how she's protecting you. She's got some big feelings to work through and she can't do it with you because you're also wiping her bum and she's 11. I'm sorry it's difficult for all of you.

SophStressed Sat 21-Nov-20 22:25:37

She is on oramorph so that 100% factors in too...

I think trauma and time to deal with it is a good point. I think maybe that's why I'm nervous to get her talking to see if I can help her work through it. I'm a bit apprehensive for counselling as my older daughter had a rough time with CAMHS, but do agree she probably needs something.

We try and be sensitive and separate care talk with normal talk to stop anything like that getting to her.

The cart was pretty to character for her. She's... a handful and its very much in her wheelhouse.

OP’s posts: |
MiddlesexGirl Sat 21-Nov-20 22:27:00

Is she on painkillers? The side effects can be debilitating.

AwaAnBileYerHeid Sat 21-Nov-20 22:27:08

It could very well be a manifestation of shock/trauma. Poor wee lamb, what an awful thing to go through. I would definitely bring it up on her next checkup, before then if that isn't going to be soon.

Sickofmysalary Sat 21-Nov-20 22:32:50

God your poor little girl. I’m wishing her a speedy recovery, how awful.

TheYearOfSmallThings Sat 21-Nov-20 22:34:47

Has she been on oramorph for 2 weeks?

Mycircusmymonkey Sat 21-Nov-20 22:36:32

If her natural personality is a bit “wild and free” then I imagine this is an even bigger shock to her to realise she isn’t invincible after all.
Poor little love my heart goes out to her

Bunnybigears Sat 21-Nov-20 22:36:42

@SophStressed I understand you not really wanting to use CAMHS, would private be an option. We had to go private for DS and it was only £25 for an hour long session which is still a lot but a lot better than I had imagined.

TW2013 Sat 21-Nov-20 22:39:23

The cart was pretty to character for her. She's... a handful and its very much in her wheelhouse.

Maybe she has realised that she isn't invincible. Has she been able to keep in touch with friends?

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