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Baby in her own room ?! Help

(20 Posts)
Bump2020 Sat 21-Nov-20 17:58:31

Hi all mums!

My DD is 4 months on the 28th and my husband is having to sleep in another room (snoring and rolling over and waking up the baby!)

This is obviously not ideal and we want to have some normality back ... he's insistent that she could into her own room but I am just so nervous.

I spoke to the nurse and she assured me that if I was comfortable then it was fine but I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable if she's not next to me. I have a video monitor but worry it won't be loud enough if I'm asleep.

Help mums please!

OP’s posts: |
Fleetwoodmacs Sat 21-Nov-20 18:01:26

Wait til 6 months when the SIDS risk drops then go for it. We have a video monitor and it is definitely loud enough to wake you up, and if you invest in a good quality one with a big screen you can see them pretty well.

Alarae Sat 21-Nov-20 18:10:34

For SIDS alone I wouldn't that young.

We transitioned our DD into her own room next door at 5 and a half months.

You were uncomfortable for a long time when you were pregnant. A little discomfort for your DH shouldn't compel you to move your child into their own room before you feel 100% ready.

frolicmum Sat 21-Nov-20 18:34:19

I remember the feeling of not feeling ready to do it but we said at the beginning we'll try at 6 months and although I felt a little wobble before, we did it and it ended up being the best decision ever.

I wasn't aware of the fact the SIDS risk in increases by putting them in their own room early but we never considered doing it early. Have a good read about this & then make an informed decision together x

user1471457757 Sat 21-Nov-20 21:23:09

The NHS guidelines are for all sleep to be in the same room as you for the first six months to help prevent SIDS.

LividLaughLurve Sat 21-Nov-20 21:25:45

“The nurse” shouldn’t be contravening safe sleeping guidance.

mummabubs Sat 21-Nov-20 21:32:38

We waited until the recommended six months with DS. We live in a townhouse so our bedroom is on a different floor of the house to DS's room (which I still hate but DH is ambivalent about it). We just have an audio monitor which we still use despite DS being 3 and sleeping through - finally! Do it when it feels comfortable for you, that doesn't sound like now. When we did start to consider moving him into his own room I started putting him down for hia daytime naps in there, I think it helped both me and him get used to it.

Pipandmum Sat 21-Nov-20 21:38:18

Against every other person here but my babies slept in their own room from the day we came home. There was no guidelines to keep them with you for six months. And that's what they are : guidelines.
I had a monitor too and I dont think having the baby next to me would gave made any difference. Also, do people sit in the dark with their babies when they put them down at 7 or 7.30 until they themselves go to bed? No? Well what's the difference then?

Thatwentbadly Sun 22-Nov-20 08:20:48

NHS says a minimum of 6 months, other countries advise a minimum of 12 months. This is not something I would risk. Plus I wouldn’t have to getting up out of bed and going into another room multiple times a night to feed and resettle a baby unless your DH is offering to do that.

This has been said again and again but it worth repeating, babies who are dead don’t make a noise and so a baby monitor won’t help.

SpamIAm Sun 22-Nov-20 08:38:12

I'd rather my DH in a different room (which I currently have) than my baby 🤷‍♀️

Roselilly36 Sun 22-Nov-20 08:55:12

I didn’t put my two in there own rooms until they were 6-7 months.

3rdtimelucky2019 Sun 22-Nov-20 08:56:40

Pipandmum

Against every other person here but my babies slept in their own room from the day we came home. There was no guidelines to keep them with you for six months. And that's what they are : guidelines.
I had a monitor too and I dont think having the baby next to me would gave made any difference. Also, do people sit in the dark with their babies when they put them down at 7 or 7.30 until they themselves go to bed? No? Well what's the difference then?

Yes. I took the baby to bed with us at 8 for the first 6 months and they slept in the side sleeper while we watched TV in the dark/caught up on sleep. It's 6 months, it's not a hardship.

SpamIAm Sun 22-Nov-20 09:08:47

Yeah we also kept them downstairs with us until we went to bed, until later than 6 months.

Indeed they are just guidelines, much like the guidelines not to give them pillows, or feed them lots of salt, or all those other mere guidelines intended to reduce their risk of dying.

MrsMoastyToasty Sun 22-Nov-20 09:30:02

We put DS in his own room at 7 weeks. It coincided with DH starting a new job (shift work) and to be honest there really wasn't room as our master bedroom is tiny. We made sure his cot was next to the stud wall rather than the solid wall and kept both bedroom doors open.

GoodCow Sun 22-Nov-20 10:37:12

With DD we kept her in our room until 6 months. With DS, we put him in his room at 3.5 months as we were keeping him up and him us. Kept the monitor next to me all night and I woke up at every sound he made. I was madly tuned into him! At 5 months I turned the sound off as I was getting up to settle him every hour, which was basically just disrupting him and stopping him from self settling. I still woke up when he cried out or moaned loudly but we both got more sleep! Do whatever you feel comfortable with and whatever works best for your family, everyone is different.

evenBetter Sun 22-Nov-20 13:24:45

How do people still not know why it’s best to keep them in with you? Ffs. It’s so the infant can regulate their breathing by hearing you, so they’re less likely to die. I’m sure OPs husband can cope for being mildly inconvenienced for a brief period of time by the kid he chose to create.

Thatwentbadly Sun 22-Nov-20 16:11:34

evenBetter

How do people still not know why it’s best to keep them in with you? Ffs. It’s so the infant can regulate their breathing by hearing you, so they’re less likely to die. I’m sure OPs husband can cope for being mildly inconvenienced for a brief period of time by the kid he chose to create.

I wonder this too. I think most people do know but they don’t want to inconvenienced by a baby.

ThornAmongstRoses Sun 22-Nov-20 18:23:51

It is the carbon dioxide that you exhale which stimulates your baby’s respiratory system to function normally.

The higher the levels of carbon dioxide in a room (typically due to the high levels that adults breathe out) the more responsive a baby’s respiratory system will be to it and therefore their breathing pattern is triggered/regulated.

Unless your husband can buy a baby monitor that excretes carbon dioxide, then a monitor will not reduce the risks at all of SIDS.

I can’t believe people still use the use of a monitor as some kind of reassurance or justification for putting young babies in separate rooms alone. A baby that stops breathing doesn’t actually make a sound so I’m not sure how a monitor is supposed to alert parents that it has happened???

Hardbackwriter Sun 22-Nov-20 19:20:08

Why does every thread about this have people stating theory as fact?! It is a fact that there is a (pretty weak) correlation between lone sleeping and SIDS rate, but no one actually knows why - the 'hearing you breathe' and the CO2 things that have both been confidently declared as fact here are both unproven theories (and basic common sense tells you the CO2 one would only apply if your face were inches from the baby's face, so might be true for cosleeping but can't possibly be for having the baby in the same room but a separate cot).

The guidelines are there for a reason (that correlation) and I would and did follow them, but it's not helpful for people to start spreading half truths.

SnowmanDrinkingSnowballs Sun 22-Nov-20 19:28:04

How long have you been with your partner, two more months sleeping apart really isn’t that long is it?

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