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If you have finished having DC, did you have the number you imagined you would?

(136 Posts)
TurquoiseKiss Fri 20-Nov-20 21:38:08

Apologies in advance if this is triggering.

I'm curious to know, if people pictured themselves with a certain number of children and whether that materialised. Just a random question really.

I became a mum this year, DS is 6 months. Days I'm exhausted I wonder how people manage more than one small child! Other times when my energy is higher I picture DH and I with 3 children. I don't know why 3. You would think my next vision would be us with another child but I keep seeing our family 'complete' with 3 kids. Time will tell I guess!

OP’s posts: |
KindKylie Fri 20-Nov-20 21:39:09

We're done at 3 but I always hoped for and imagined we'd have 4.

Dizzywizz Fri 20-Nov-20 21:45:17

I always thought we’d have 3 (I’m one of 3, although Dh is one of 7!). After I had one I thought we might have 4! I had very bad pmd though, and was very unwell generally. With number 2 I had a difficult pregnancy and again pmd and Ill Health. I think if I hadn’t had all those health issues we’d have had more.

catchyjem Fri 20-Nov-20 21:54:18

I always thought 2 would be nice. I have 3 but only because my second was twins!

Wishfulthinkk Fri 20-Nov-20 21:55:11

I’ve got two lovely little ones, 2 & 4. Always imagined a big family, lots of children. Sadly their father passed away when my youngest was one. I’m mid 30’s and not dating/not ready/never have anywhere to meet anyone anyway(!) so unfortunately I suspect two will be it for me. However I am hugely broody sad but remind myself how lucky I am to have two.

PandaBabyJuly Fri 20-Nov-20 21:55:32

I thought I'd have none ..... had Dd then thought I was done .... now pregnant with my 2nd and definitely think I'm done now grin

Crappyfridays7 Fri 20-Nov-20 21:55:40

Wanted one
Have 4...
Few more than I thought but all good
Knackered but good

EThreepwood Fri 20-Nov-20 21:57:51

Wanted 4 but then I had kids. I have 2 and was happy and felt done. Now I am pregnant with no. 3 and I'm definitely done grin

MalbecIsMyOne Fri 20-Nov-20 22:00:07

I always changing my mind from wanting 2 to 3...then I had my 2nd and was suddenly VERY sure that’s the lot for us & DH is on the same page. This feeling has only got stronger as time has gone on, it’s really strange & I can’t explain it but I know I’m “done”

toycat Fri 20-Nov-20 22:00:48

I always wanted two or three, but they we had a traumatic birth with our kid and he still is a terrible sleeper 4 years later. Happy with the one now!

Quincejam Fri 20-Nov-20 22:01:00

Wanted three, had three and probably would have had one more but felt we were a bit too old, as I was late 30's.

TurquoiseKiss Fri 20-Nov-20 22:01:33

Sorry to hear about your little ones' dad @Wishfulthinkk flowers

@Crappyfridays7 ended up with 4?! grin

I think my sentiment of wanting 3 at the moment is I feel to have another and know that would be the "last time" of the newborn period would be hard! As in I'd want to know there would be another time to experience it. - Very aware how you think you'll feel and how you actually feel in the future are often worlds apart! -

OP’s posts: |
JohnLapsleyParlabane Fri 20-Nov-20 22:03:16

Wanted 4. Had two and several losses. Circumstances mean a third isn't possible.
So not done. But done.

troppibambini Fri 20-Nov-20 22:04:11

I'm not sure how many I thought I would have really.... I've ended up with six (two are step whose mum died)
Most of the time I love it occasionally I think I'm mad!!

Santaisironingwrappingpaper Fri 20-Nov-20 22:06:35

Never imagined I would have so many.
No regrets although life is hectic and sometimes tough.

formerbabe Fri 20-Nov-20 22:08:43

Thought I wanted three, had two, realised they're bloody hard work and have stuck at two!

skankingpiglet Fri 20-Nov-20 22:08:44

Wanted 2, have 2, very happy staying at 2.

Squaretoe Fri 20-Nov-20 22:09:42

Wanted two, had two. Felt like I had another pregnancy in me but didn’t want any more of my own so was a surrogate for a friend. Third pregnancy was hard and confirmed I didn’t want any more of my own!

VioletSunset Fri 20-Nov-20 22:10:28

I wanted four, i've got four grin

Ihaveoflate Fri 20-Nov-20 22:10:50

I didn't want any but ended up with one - definitely done!

No regrets but I probably would have remained very happy child-free and I would not ever consider having a second (DH had the snip so it's not an option anyway).

SendHelp30 Fri 20-Nov-20 22:11:43

Always thought we wanted 4, we have 3 and I felt completely content and complete the minute our 3rd was born. We are very happy.

XDownwiththissortofthingX Fri 20-Nov-20 22:12:51

Yip, always planned on 0, finished up with 0

Taswama Fri 20-Nov-20 22:13:39

Thought I'd have 4 - 2 in early 30s, 2 in late 30s. Had first at 30, back to work full time. second at 33, back part time. Realised a third would truly scupper my career so stopped at 2.

Megan2018 Fri 20-Nov-20 22:15:43

Planned 0, have 1 and now wish I’d had 2, but too old.

SnugglySnerd Fri 20-Nov-20 22:15:56

I planned two. Second was twins so I have 3 and I wouldn't change a thing.

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