How can I tell my husband?

[mumandcub]

My DH and I have 1 DS and 1 baby on the way. On the whole he is great and we rarely argue BUT the way he speaks to our 3yo is starting to really get to me. He just seems to be quite shouty and short with him. I have said before it’s making me feel annoyed. He says it’s because our sons behaviour is bad but it really isn’t that bad. Our son is just like any other child in my opinion. He’s patience is non existent.
Any ideas how to deal with it?

[Ohalrightthen]

Does he shout at you OP? What happens if you disagree with him, or say no to him, or do something he doesn't like?

[Ohalrightthen]

Posted too soon.

Regardless of that, even if your son is badly behaved, shouting at a 3yr old isn't going to help or change anything. He needs to learn age-appropriate behaviour management techniques. Stern, low-toned voice, warnings, time out. Not shouting.

[Groovinpeanut]

If you've already told your husband you don't like how he speaks to your son, and he carries on regardless, it's obvious he isn't bothered.
When the new baby is born you're going to have to deal with much more, and so is your husband.
Shouting and getting bad-tempered with a 3 yr old is just not on. These are your son's formative years. If he carries on your son is going to start displaying reactions to your home life. If it makes you feel bad, just imagine how it makes a 3 yr old feel.

[TigerQuoll]

A friend of mine used to get frustrated and speaks sharply to his three year old daughter when she won't do as he says right away. But he and his wife have a system now where when he starts feeling his blood boil and like he might shout out if frustration soon he can "tap out" and walk away from the situation and let his wife finish things. It has saved a lot of pain for the daughter! Maybe you can try something like that with your husband. When he starts to feel frustrated he should take a few deep breaths and try speaking to your child again calmly. If the child is still being obstinate and his frustration starts to feel like it is getting out of control he should tap out and let you finish dealing with the issue.