18 month old hitting me at bedtime

[UncleBunclesHouse]

My wonderful 18 month old is a very happy boy and full of fun, very boisterous and physically active. At bedtimes however when we are trying to have milk abs quiet cuddles in his room he has started gritting his teeth and hitting me around the face. He got me with his sippy cup the other night and bruised my nose. I try to tell him firmly no but he seems to find this very funny. I have tried holding his arms and he screams his head off and cries. Last night he started it and I said ‘no’ twice firmly and he carried on so I put him in his cot and walked out. He had an absolute melt down and was sobbing so DH went in and took over and he was asleep in 10 minutes. He never does this with him only me.

Any ideas how to tackle this? Or should I just wait for it to pass as a phase? I sometimes suspect he’s very overtired as he is full on all day, but don’t want to be ignoring the behaviour if I shouldn’t be. He’s my PFB so not sure what is age appropriate and books seem to have very widely differing approaches. TIA

[UncleBunclesHouse]

Hopeful bump!

[IntoP20]

I have tried holding his arms and he screams his head off and cries.

Last night he started it and I said ‘no’ twice firmly and he carried on so I put him in his cot and walked out.

Errr.. he’s 18 months old OP. Why are you responding in these ways? Can you genuinely not see any problem with how you’re interacting with your young toddler? I can’t decide whether or not you’re a troll

[UncleBunclesHouse]

I’m not a troll and I’m not reacting in anger in any way, this is why I am asking for advice, I’m not sure how to respond when I’m being hit round the face with a bottle. I know he doesn’t mean it or understand. Does that mean I should just sit still and let him? Genuine question

[Bananarama12]

Sounds like he may be overtired. Try bedtime a little earlier and see if it helps.

[UncleBunclesHouse]

Thanks @Bananarama12, due to my job he is in nursery until the evening so there already is very little time between pick up and bedtime routine unfortunately so I don’t think it could get any earlier on most weekdays

[hf2345]

@IntoP20

She just said she’s not sure how to respond and what to do. No need to put someone down like that ?
I have one the same age , if he did that I would firmly say “no do not hit mummy that really hurts” and then ignore it change tone again and say right come on let’s say night night and go to bed now and just finish the quiet time and milk.

I think it will just be a phase and like you said they are overtired which is probably what’s causing it. Hopefully someone else can give you there opinion too ...and not a bitchy one x

[Bananarama12]

Ok well try not to worry, mine goes through phases of it when he is overtired.
Maybe DH does bedtime if he is better for him?
Just say please don't hit mummy and try and avoid the attempts. Sorry I dont have more advice

[SoBoredOfWaiting]

Hi Op, unfortunately it sounds like we are currently going through the same thing. Mine is 20 months and hitting as well as kicking me. It is horrible but hoping this phase will pass soon!

[BertieBotts]

He's just knackered don't worry. I tend to remove boob and say "no hitting. I don't like it, that hurts." if no result then yes I would put them down or in the cot. I don't usually walk out, but if you can swap with DH and that works then I don't think there's anything terrible about doing that!

Just don't take it personally, but it doesn't mean you have to sit there and let him do it.

[user1493494961]

I think how you handled it was fine.

[CatnipEverdeen]

I agree I think you handled it just fine! Mine is the same age and has recently started trying to rip the hair from my head. I do what you do, and I do think it's just due to being overtired. I often find that when I just put him straight down without trying to hug it out etc he settles immediately, almost like me faffing around him makes it worse!

[UncleBunclesHouse]

Thank you so much for the comments and support this is helpful and reassuring 😊 and glad to see the same thought about being overtired, will see what we can do there.

I’m going to try to keep things very calm this evening, we are so pleased to see him I think me and DH are guilty of maybe exciting him a bit in the evening by being over enthusiastic.

@CatnipEverdeen @SoBoredOfWaiting hope your phase also passes soon!

[Disappointedkoala]

Mines a bit older but has only ever hit me, not DH or other children (so far)! I think it's either frustration or exhaustion with mine depending on the circumstances. I'd handle it in the same way OP - I tell my DD "no, we don't hit" firmly and then if I can, leave her some where safe if her behaviour continues. No amount of redirection or calming chat makes a difference in her case.

It might be worth having a look at your bedtime routine to see if you can shorten it a bit if he's exhausted or have DH take over for a few nights.

[Terriblecreature]

I personally think you handled it as you should. I have a very active, boistorious 20 month old and he has been hitting for around 5 months now 😩 I try not to react to show him its bothering me but I do remove his hands and tell him no. He knows what no means. I think it must be a phase. Hoping once speech develops more that it won't be so bad.