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Am I doing this wrong?

(14 Posts)
OhToBeASeahorse Tue 17-Nov-20 13:25:01

I've posted lots recently and am very glad of collective MN wisdom.

My second baby is 5 weeks. And I cant help feeling that I've just got it wrong.

She basically lives in the sling. That's not a on exaggeration. She comes out to feed and be changed ( unless we are at the park and in which case it's in the sling). She can be awake - screaming - for 3-4 hours. This is less often in the sling and as long as I'm on it and try to get her off within an hr of her being awake on usually ok.

However- am I teaching her to never self settle? Am I supposed to just put her in a sleepyhead or something and leave her to it? I find the sling restrictive, jobs are hard to do and things like reading DS a story is tough. But at least this way she sleeps for a decent amount of time.

Am I making this difficult down the line? I spend the day trying to be careful with moving so indont disturb her.
I've tried her in the pram and she fell asleep eventually (I mean like after 2 hours) but then toddler woke her up the moment we came in.

Surely other people dont do it like this? I feel useless. Toddler is in childcare today and I wanted to sort his toys but kneeling down with her and trying to move around is SLOW.

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OhToBeASeahorse Tue 17-Nov-20 13:27:21

P.s. please dont tell me just tonsitnonnthe sofa and let her feed and sleep. She stopped doing this a week ago

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Ohwhocares22 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:29:43

I dont think you are doing it wrong, I think it's just tough. My 2nd spent a lot of his early days in the sling too. And it's great in a way as you have your hands free but I used to long for him to sleep in the moses basket so I could move around more freely. It did get better and easier but if I'm honest, I cant remember when or how

Ohwhocares22 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:31:15

I do remember that I did what I had to do until he was at least 10 weeks old

OhToBeASeahorse Tue 17-Nov-20 13:31:58

Thank you. I hear people say they love the sling cos they can do everything but I feel like I cant or I can but it takes me soooooo much longer

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bogoblin Tue 17-Nov-20 13:36:12

She's so young to worry about self settling! Just do what you have to at this stage

OhToBeASeahorse Tue 17-Nov-20 13:37:40

Thanks. I'm hugely anxious around it and I cant quite explain why especially because I'd love a few minutes of baby free time!

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Ohwhocares22 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:57:40

That was my feeling. I used it because I had to but found it very mauling. It served its purpose of getting us through the first few weeks but I wasnt sorry to stop using it

OhToBeASeahorse Tue 17-Nov-20 13:59:10

Well that gives me hope. I think DS would only nap in the damn thing for months

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HoneyWheeler Tue 17-Nov-20 14:02:43

Ah I'm sending such good vibes to you - the fourth trimester is blimmin' hard! I think five weeks is too young to be worrying about self settling, that will come in time. At the moment, just do whatever you can to make your own life as easy as possible. It feels hard because it is IS so hard!

AdelaMia Tue 17-Nov-20 14:08:56

OP the whole self settling stuff is largely language used by sleep trainers etc as it makes it easy for them to sell their 'services'. You absolutely do not have to do that to your baby - they all become independent naturally in their own time.
Read the Continuum Concept - the closeness to you is most likely exactly what your little one needs at the moment! x

ASomers Tue 17-Nov-20 14:33:26

I feel exactly the same! Mine is 3 months and spends most of her time in the sling and I feel bad about it sometimes. I have started putting her down for 1 nap a day but she usually will only sleep for 30 mins and then start crying. I have decided not to stress about it anymore. I believe that baby carrying is what she needs and is very beneficial. Yours is still in that 4th trimester stage when they just want that closeness. You're doing nothing wrong!!

AegonT Tue 17-Nov-20 17:35:15

You aren't doing anything wrong. It sounds like you have a high needs baby and you've found a great way to cope (the sling). There are lots of cultures where all babies are in a sling all day and co-sleep all night. It natural for a baby to want to be close to you. My daughter wanted to be held all the time being fed or in motion. Luckily she would also mostly settle for the buggy or car if they were moving. She always been very intense but she's super well behaved for others now and top of her class academically as well as having lots of friends. Her needs got less time consuming after a few months but she was still easy to anger and upset - it just wasn't as often.

OhToBeASeahorse Tue 17-Nov-20 18:19:50

I had to go and pick my son from childcare- hours round trip. I timed it to leave so she had fed and changed and should have been ready for a nap

Just cried on and off. Now hugely overtired.ffs

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