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Please help!!

(21 Posts)
Newmama29 Sun 15-Nov-20 13:23:45

My baby is 10 weeks old & nap times during the day are becoming increasingly difficult!!
He refuses to sleep anywhere other than on me which makes trying to eat/clean/do absolutely anything very difficult! I’ve tried everything, the soothing bedtime routine, getting drowsy in my arms then putting him in crib, sitting with him whilst stroking his head/chest but nothing works. He has screamed all morning cause he is so overly tired but after napping on me for 20mins as soon as I put him down he’s screaming! He hates a sling so that hasn’t worked. I’m at my wits end this morning & just feeling so deflated, I’m just desperate for some food & a cup of tea sad

OP’s posts: |
anotherwinkywinkybumbum Sun 15-Nov-20 13:26:13

Food and drink for you really are the only priorities in this awkward stage. Set yourself up with food and drink nearby and just go with the flow with him napping on you while you snack.

It does get easier flowerscakebrew

Newmama29 Sun 15-Nov-20 13:43:35

@anotherwinkywinkybumbum thank you for your quick reply! I’ve been trying to ride this out but I’m at the end of my tether as I just want an hour to myself to watch some tv & run the hoover over sad

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anotherwinkywinkybumbum Sun 15-Nov-20 13:50:13

You're welcome, I am 10 months in and we have reached separation anxiety stage now and it's awful.

Do you have anyone at home with you or is just the two of you?

If someone could take him for a stroll around the block so you can just catch your breath that would help I'm sure.

Does he like the sound of the hoover? Maybe the white noise of it will settle him enough so you can get on for a bit with the hoovering and maybe even send him right off so you can chill for a bit yourself too.

It's so hard isn't it? No one can quite prepare you for it. Having a little time to yourself is so important for recharging.

Hannah12345625 Sun 15-Nov-20 14:10:30

I know exactly how you feel. I remember crying on the phone to my sister saying I can't even have half an hour without my daughter being on me. It is so hard when they don't sleep without you.
But, try to remember this phase will soon finish one day and you will have your evenings back. My daughter co-slept at night and slept on me for every nap until she was 5 months. I then decided to try the cot, and after a few weeks she was having her naps in there and was sleeping in there too! Fast forward, she is now 16 months and will fall asleep by herself for her nap and at night and we have from 7pm onwards to ourselves every night.
Your little one is still so small, and I know it is so hard, but it won't be forever.
It will get easier.

PollyPocket245 Sun 15-Nov-20 14:24:37

Oh I totally empathise! My little one is 11 weeks and exactly the same, as soon as I put her down she’s awake. And she absolutely hates the sling! The only thing that gives me a little respite is her play gym, do you have anything like that? As long as baby is in eye sight you can quickly hoover and see what else you can get away with while they play. My HV suggested when she is calm just to put her down, and keep doing it so she gets used to it, I’ve started this weekend and it’s hard work but she actually stayed asleep for 30 minutes yesterday which shocked me! Other than that sending hugs xx

Newmama29 Sun 15-Nov-20 15:05:17

Thank you all so much for your comments & advice! I’ve felt like such a bad mum today for getting so frustrated with him! sad I don’t understand as he sleeps so well in his snuzpod at night it just seems to be during the day. My DP just went back to work today after a week off so I think that’s why I’m feeling it more today as I don’t have the extra set of hands to take over. I blame myself, we spent the first week in the hospital just me & him so I felt I held him all the time as I was just so grateful he was safe. Then when we got home he spent so much time in DP’s arms & my parents as he’s the only grandchild so he’s been spoiled with cuddles which doesn’t help now lol! He sleeps so well in the vet seat & pram but we probably haven’t spent too much time at home to get him into napping in his crib so going to just try & persevere.

He does have a play gym which he loves but he’s in such a tizz today that I can’t put him down without him screaming blue murder sad

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Hannah12345625 Sun 15-Nov-20 15:07:20

Op, I read you can't spoil them in the first few weeks, they don't have the brain capacity to be spoilt so please don't feel that way.
If anything you did a good thing as you made your little one feel secure in the first few weeks!! Newborns need that body contact smile

Lazypuppy Sun 15-Nov-20 15:14:41

Have you got a swing/vibrating chair? That was a game changer for my daughter i could always put her in it for her day time naps.

Newmama29 Sun 15-Nov-20 15:18:04

@Hannah12345625 thank you! I know they need it but feel like I should of got him more used to napping in a crib lol!

@Lazypuppy yeah we have it all, we have a swing, a vibrating bouncer, a swinging crib, he’s just not having it at all today! He normally likes the swing but he won’t sit in it for longer than 10 mins the last few days

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PollyPocket245 Sun 15-Nov-20 15:27:04

Aww breathe deep, tomorrow is a new day. It’s so hard when they have bad days, you feel like you can’t do anything right. when your partner comes home you must take an hour for yourself. Just keep telling yourself it will pass and it’s not forever. You’re baby loves you so much and you’re doing a fab job

Newmama29 Sun 15-Nov-20 15:32:25

Oh @PollyPocket245 if only it was that easy sad my DP works long shifts so probably won’t be home til 11/12. I think that’s why I’m feeling so deflated today as I know I have a long day/night ahead of me lol!

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anotherwinkywinkybumbum Sun 15-Nov-20 16:32:50

Totally understand how overwhelming it is when suddenly you're flying solo. My partner has been home all week as he was doing 12am to 12 pm Friday/Saturday then same last night/today. He has even been WFH so not like he's had to leave the house but still I found it hard. I even curse him when he's about and off work as he gets under my feet but at least he is present and knowing he can take over helps lots.

Just know that what you're feeling is totally natural and you're not alone in feeling that way.

Nowisthemonthofmaying Sun 15-Nov-20 16:39:29

You haven't spoiled him! It's totally normal for them not to want to be put down at this stage. Please don't put him in a bouncer or swing to nap though, it's really not safe as it can restrict their airways.

My 12 week old will only nap on me or DP, it can be frustrating but I figure she'll grow out of it at some point and then I'll miss having those baby snuggles! The hoovering can wait smile

Newmama29 Sun 15-Nov-20 16:50:07

Thank you for all your lovely comments! It’s good to know I’m not alone flowers I feel I’m surrounded by all these people with babies that are so content & sleep all night & nap on que!!

Both bouncer & swing recline to almost flat & he’s never left alone in themsmile

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skkyelark Sun 15-Nov-20 20:46:23

Will he stay asleep in the pram when it stops moving? If so, can you take him a little walk and then come home once he's asleep and get on with things? My daughter had quite a few naps in the kitchen in her pram whilst I had lunch/did the washing up/caught up on emails.

That said, I did also have emergency supplies of snacks and water where I fed her during the day in preparation for when I inevitably got nap-trapped.

Newmama29 Sun 15-Nov-20 21:24:03

@skkyelark he does but unfortunately we’re in Scotland & the rain is persistent this week haha! He sleeps in the car though, so tomorrow if we have another bad day I think I’ll get him in his car seat & go grab a drive thru coffee & read my kindle in a car park somewhere grin

He’s managed to settle down for the night in his crib so feeling more positive now. Thank you all so much for your kind words & support, it means a lot to hear from other mums experiences when you feel like you can’t do anything right!

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anotherwinkywinkybumbum Mon 16-Nov-20 13:41:53

How you getting on today? flowers

skkyelark Mon 16-Nov-20 13:49:28

I'm also in Scotland, so I know the forecast issue well. My wee girl was not a fan of the car seat, so there were times last winter when it was raincover for the pram, full waterproofs for me, and away we went in anything short of a gale. It did usually only take 5-10 minutes for her to drop off in the pram, though.

All day and all evening on your own is hard. I used to try to save a favourite toy/activity (baby gym at that age) for points when I really, really needed a break.

I hope today is an easier day!

Newmama29 Mon 16-Nov-20 14:04:59

Hey all! We’re having a better day today! Had a short nap this morning in the crib which has stopped him from becoming so tired he won’t sleep. We have some errands to run this afternoon so he’s quite happy in the car seat, we’ll see what this evening brings lol!

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Feminist10101 Mon 16-Nov-20 14:07:01

Utterly utterly normal. He’s in the fourth trimester (and ideally would still be inside you). So he wants all the things he had In-utero.

It’s much easier if you go with it rather than fight it.

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