Dummies

[PollyPocket245]

Hello wise mums,
I’m looking for some advice on dummies. I always felt like I was against the idea, that somehow if I gave her a dummy I might miss one of her needs (she’s 11 weeks on Monday). My partner seems keen on the idea of giving her one and even I admit the past few days I’ve felt like she might benefit from one. How do you know if it’s a good idea to try one? My dd sucks her hand a lot, and when offered a finger she’s always sucking them or looking for something else to suck. She doesn’t settle to sleep on her own and won’t sleep anywhere but on us. I try to put her down and she wakes about 10 mins later, sometimes she cries sometimes she just looks around. I’m thinking maybe a dummy will help soothe her. Any advice would be great, and if there’s anything else worth considering with them

[AliceMcK]

I was like you but ended up giving my 1DD one. Each child is different. I was encouraged to give DD one by her osteopath as she had really stiff head and neck muscles and the sucking helped loosen them. I also read it reduced the risk of SIDS as while baby is sucking they are breathing. There were also things about reducing asthma too. It was a while ago, I don’t remember the exact details.

Second DD was not interested in one at all.

Third one, I needed her to have one more than she did.

Each child is different, she if she wants it, if she dose, let her have it.

After 6 months we only let DD1 have it when she was unwell or in bed, it was so easy getting her to give it up. DD3 currently takes all her dummies to bed and holds them in her hand while sleeping. She has them all the time and I’m struggling weening her off them.

[mariebaby3]

Both of my children had one when they were babies. Honestly, they were a godsend for us and when they were really unhappy about something else they always spat them out so I knew I wasn't missing anything! At around 6 months old I stopped replacing any lost ones and just said dummy was gone and they were off them for good.

[Sunflower20001]

I was like you, dead against dummies.. I had one in a bottle set and gave in one night when he was cluster feeding about 6 weeks, Every time I took him off he was sick, so I know he was using me as a dummy.
It was around 1am and thought, what have i got to lose?
He had a Dummy and went to sleep!
He never really took to it though and we gave up on it after a few weeks.
We only kept it for naps though.
Im due No. 2 soon and if baby needs it, I'm a bit more open to it this time.

[helloxhristmas]

When Dts were in NiCU the nurses tried and tried to get them to take one. They wouldn't. I think their early days would have been a lot easier if they had of done!

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

My 7 month old son has a dummy for sleep. We he wakes up in the night he finds it and puts it back in his mouth, and takes himself off to sleep again. They're the entire reason I get 1 or 2 unbroken nights sleep a week.

Im very pro dummies, IF used sensibly.

[percheron67]

I always thought the dummy idea was a bad one and managed not to use one. I hate to see a tiny babe with a dummy and it looks absolutely foul to see one given to an older child. Why make a rod for your own back? To deprive a child of something it is used to is bound to cause a problem.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

So if it soothes a baby and aids sleep, you would purposely not use it because of how it looks? Thats ridiculous.

[whatswithtodaytoday]

I didn't intend to use dummies, but my son had terrible reflux and the first few weeks were constant crying. My friend gave me one in a hamper so I thought I'd try it in desperation, and it was amazing - he was so much happier.

The dummy was my best friend until he weaned himself off them at about six months - he kept spitting them out so I just stopped replacing them.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

How do you know when to try one? In my case it was when DD sucked my little for so long it lost all feeling. If I took it out during a nap she’d wake up. I had no strong feelings either way before she was born but my god they can save your sanity. She’s always been extremely gassy and liked to suck something after a feed which seemed to settle her tummy. I tried a few and the only one she liked was the soft breast like tommee tippee soother. God send.

[Boringnamechanging]

I was very anti dummies and I really don’t like seeing 2/3/4 year olds walking around with them in permanently.

Dc1 had awful reflux and it gave him relief so I changed my mind
Dc2 was a finger sucker and I can’t remove her hand to stop the habit so I thought it would be better for her to have a dummy.
Dc1 gave up the dummy just after 2 in 2 days with no drama at all, dc2 at 20 months was a little harder to get rid but it was maybe a week of re settling a few time a night. But mine never were walking around with them in, once they could crawl it was for nap and bedtime and unwell only.

[Superscientist]

We were neutral towards dummies. We didn't buy any initially. We picked some up a few weeks ago when she was about 8 weeks. She doesn't really take it, if she's having a fussy day we can hold it in and she sucks and calms herself down but she spits it out of we don't hold it.

She has reflux and feeding hurts so she gets upset. It means I am able to pass her to my partner for him to calm her down without the distraction of smelling of milk like I do! Then once she's calm I can feed her better.

She's 13 weeks and we only occasionally use the dummy but it helps my partner sooth her when I can't or if I need a break.

[Tempusfudgeit]

DS1 could take or leave it
DS2 obsessed with it
DD1 hated it

All different!

[percheron67]

Letsallscreamat You missed the point! \yes, I do think they look hideous BUT the main reason i didn't use one is because it causes problems later on when you take it away. Why put a child through that?

[PollyPocket245]

Thank you so much for all the replies. It’s been so helpful! A lot of things resonate with me, my little one has awful gas and sucking definitely helps it pass, sometimes it’s the only way it will pass. Are there any dangers with them? Other than weaning them off eventually. And do you offer them a dummy at specific times (after feeds, when tired) or only if you think they need it? Sorry for the questions, it wasn’t something I considered using. I’ve read on the NCT website but mumsnet knowledge is always more practical

[MummaBear4321]

With my DDs I used them. With DD1 I used it to help her self soothe and go to sleep in her moses basket at night after feeds when she just wanted to sleep on me. It was a godsend. It would just drop out when she was in a heavy sleep. She ended up refusing it naturally at 8 weeks, just as I was getting on a plane to Ireland and she was SCREAMING. Perfect timing lol. I say give it if you feel both her and you need it. Its ok to coax them into sleeping by themselves. It's something they have to learn, so you may as well give her something that will comfort her. She will most likely drop it herself at some point, or you just decide at whatever age that the dummy isnt needed anymore.

[JKRisagryff]

No dangers as long as dummy is sturdy and not breaking apart. Same as anything baby puts in their mouth. They actually reduce the risk of cot death. I never understand why people are so anti-dummy. People don’t really seem to have a good reason other than that they never liked the idea of it before they had kids or they don’t like how it looks. It’s a strange one to me I have to admit!

[Newuser991]

My sister was anti dummy. Like a previous poster said it was gross. She also didn't want my nephew to be delayed with speech and to interact properly without a dummy in his mouth.

He is now nearly 7 years old. His thumb is permanently in his mouth. Great way to speak and interact and communicate. A dummy could have been taken away. 🤷‍♀️

[Mumoftwo1990]

@PollyPocket245

Hello wise mums,
I’m looking for some advice on dummies. I always felt like I was against the idea, that somehow if I gave her a dummy I might miss one of her needs (she’s 11 weeks on Monday). My partner seems keen on the idea of giving her one and even I admit the past few days I’ve felt like she might benefit from one. How do you know if it’s a good idea to try one? My dd sucks her hand a lot, and when offered a finger she’s always sucking them or looking for something else to suck. She doesn’t settle to sleep on her own and won’t sleep anywhere but on us. I try to put her down and she wakes about 10 mins later, sometimes she cries sometimes she just looks around. I’m thinking maybe a dummy will help soothe her. Any advice would be great, and if there’s anything else worth considering with them

I'd say yea to dummies, you can take them away. You can't take thumbs away, plus mines been a godsend, they don't always take it but it soothes them for sure.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Depends what you want it to achieve. If its soothing after feeds, use it then. If its for naps, use it when you're trying to get baby off to sleep. I would say you have to be strict and stick to using it for these things only, and not to give in and just give it all the time to keep the baby quiet.

[thismeansnothing]

DD1 I didn't use one but I was BF and just fed her when she whinged. But with reflux as well I was.forever BF and it was just hell. She was under the gastro paeds and he strongly advised one, but I didn't like them so didn't use them. Really wish I had.

DD2 I ended up bf for 3 weeks then going to bottles. She was a very sucky baby. If she was bf I guess I would have become a human dummy. And after draining a bottle there was no way she was hungry strait away. She's suck your arm/shoulder/anything so we gave her a dummy. I was worried I'd miss her cues but if she was mad, she'd spit it out and wouldn't take it back.

I was worried about weaning her off it, but we never got the size up from the 6 month one so at 12 months when it was obviously too small for her mouth we just took it off her. She only had it at bedtime by this point and She didn't really need it. We had about 4/5 dodgy nights but she got over it. She's 20 months now and has been fine since we removed it.

[Strokethefurrywall]

I loved the dummies. Was totally neutral about them when I had DS1.

He started taking one from about 3 weeks when my parents babysat and gave it up when he was a year. Took a while for him to settle with one but after a couple days he was a pro and easily switched between breast, bottle and dummy.

DS2 was born at 6am and had a dummy in his mouth by 11pm! Sucky, sucky baby, he didn't care what type of nipple was in his mouth, as long as he was sucking he was happy.

He gave his "soosoo" up by 3 years (nap/nights).

[Disappointedkoala]

I was anti dummy and then on night 3 of my OH's 8 night business trip, I gave in out of desperation and it was like having a new baby. We largely only used it for sleep and got rid of it before she was 2.5yo.

I've brought some already for our soon to arrive second.

[Hm2020]

Reduces sids sold it to me but as it turned out they gave him one in the nicu with out even asking me it was to help him suck and to give him comfort whilst In an incubator not aloud to be touched

[june2007]

Overuse of dummy effects speech and damages teeth. However if used for sleep times and under one then fine. I never wanted one but them at 4.00 in the morning I wished they did take it. (only used for non nutrtive sucking here.) Some children just don,t take them though and if you can do with out probaby best. Yes it may also help reduce sids.

[PollyPocket245]

Thank you! Really helpful replies, my only goal is to be able to put her down and sleep for a few hours at night without being on me so other than this she wouldn’t have it. It’s nice to know other people felt the same as I did about them, but I do see it really depends on the needs of the child. She sucks everything she can get when I try to settle her so I’d rather know what she had was sterilised!