My DS is almost 7 months old. I've been in tears this afternoon while he's napping upstairs, thinking what a crap mum I am and how he deserves better.
He has quite a few toys but spends every day just lying on his mat playing with the same things. He goes out for a walk most days but we live in a built up, very urban area and there's not much for him to enjoy or see.
I have terrible social anxiety and really dislike baby classes - I tried a few (including swimming) and hated them, especially as DS is quite highly strung and cried for most of the time. At the same time though I'm so afraid that by not going, DS is missing out on interaction with other babies and will end up with social anxiety like me.
Weaning is going badly - I'm trying to do baby-led and give him the healthiest possible start after not managing to breast-feed (another failure) but he's barely eaten anything in three weeks, just spits it back out and throws it on the floor. I see people cooking pancakes, baby fish pie, all sorts of lovely things for their children and I've not managed that once - he just gets single bits of fruit and veg. I actually didn't feed him anything (apart from milk) at all today because I feel so low and couldn't face the mess.
Before I had my son I promised myself I'd give him the best start in life, be there for him 24/7, be the smiley, happy, fun mum he deserves - and I've completely failed.
This new lockdown is also really affecting me - I feel trapped in my home and upset that there's nowhere to go for a coffee or drink just to relax and get a change of scenery. I have a local park, but it's not great and I've been there so many times this year already.
How can I make things better?
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I'm a rubbish mum - feeling so down
40 replies
rubbishmum33 · 07/11/2020 15:26
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