friend making me feel like a rubbish parent

Usually, you'll find that parents like this are struggling the most. They fill the children's lives full of amazing activities as they don't know how else to keep them entertained. And then the kids come to expect more and more.

If she’s desperate to get your approval of her ‘amazing days’ then she’s definitely covering up some emotional baggage!

Maybe if you tell her that you're struggling to have fun with your kids she would help you.

Im guessing she doesn't realise how she's making you feel? Are you good enough friends to have the conversation?

Be a shame if she's struggling and that's her coping mechanism and she actually needs you? On the flip side she could be a pain in the bum.

But sounds like you two compliment each other, maybe you could calm her down and teach her the PJs and TV days are just as important as packed out days.

I'm what others no doubt would call a lazy parent, I can't stand the full on activity style, it doesn't suit me or the DS. But you need to be comfy with your own way of doing things, don't let your differences knock your confidence.

If a person makes actual comments about my parenting that yeah that would be rude, if they are just going on about their lives and happen to be doing different things to me and the way we live that is actually nothing to do with me so then it would be totally my issue if I had a problem with that.

If she is a genuinely nice person that in your case I would accept it was my problem not hers, I would not stop seeing a friend over this

You can distance yourself by being busy, mute her posts on FB so you don't see them. Switch your focus onto what makes your DC and you happy. Mine like variety: time together no adult leading, time apart, and together time.

For the group time, start low key and for fun, no high expectations. Mine love a basic stunt kite on a windy day, flask of hot chocolate and crisps. It doesn't have to be flashy to be fun. Some days they argue and it goes downhill, but no one is happy everyday (ignore her fake photos!).

I agree with noti23 - she is desperately overcompensating for something with all that competitive parenting, and there is definite insecurity or fear of being judged an inadequate parent. Ironic really, since that is how her frantic behaviour makes others (including you) feel!
OP, children need a bit of space to breathe, and they need to learn how to entertain themselves with imaginative play, not be continually led and organised by a helicopter parent.
If you are close to this woman, you could maybe gently explore why she feels like this, and give her a chance to talk about what is driving her so relentlessly.
You may be able to help her relax and be a more laid back mother, with less suffocating and spoiling of her DC. In return, she may give you some ideas for activities with your own DC, so you both reach a nice happy medium. Good luck!

I have a very good friend, who from now fault of her own, makes me feel not as good as her at being a mum. It's not her fault, and is completely my hang up! I often refer to my kids as arseholes to my best friends, and that's ok? But wouldn't feel like I could to this friend (even though my kids are arseholes😂)

Usually, you'll find that parents like this are struggling the most. They fill the children's lives full of amazing activities as they don't know how else to keep them entertained. And then the kids come to expect more and more.

Not necessarily true at all.

These people exist. I just choose not to be friends with these people

I'd assume she's over compensating

I think this says more about you than it does about her to be honest, it doesn't sound like she's doing anything wrong. Whether it's a true reflection of her life or not is irrelevant really, if you don't think she's doing it deliberately to make you feel bad, then she isn't making you feel anything, you're doing that to yourself.

I think it's unfair that people are automatically assuming she's covering something up or is actually struggling - erm maybe she just loves doing all that stuff with her kids! (And before anyone says it no, I don't do that with mine!)

I can understand why it would be annoying and making you feel a bit rubbish but if your kids don't want to do that stuff then you're not missing out by not doing it!

Unfortunately there will always be people who do more/buy more/post on social media about it more and yes some will be using it as a coping mechanism and others will be genuine but in reality it doesn't matter. If your kids are loved, looked after and happy then that's all that matters.

Not true. I am like this - will lay on the activities because I am energetic and I enjoy making the kids happy. Sure DN (who lives with me) will moan but I know her well enough that after 10s she’ll really enjoy herself. If we all listened to our almost teenagers’ moaning all the time then kids wouldn’t make any memories!

@GrumpyHoonMain I am like this
You constantly stove all your fun activities in your friends faces even when they're hunting at you to shut up but you can't take a hint? Why?

It isn't the fun filled life that makes me think she's compensating, it's the need for everyone to know she's amazing her kids are asking their life is amazing everything is amazing look at my amazing photos which prove its all amazing

Is she actively telling you how amazing she is? Is she making sure you know about what shes done? If the answers to these questions are yes, i'd steer clear tbh.

If the answers to those questions are no, then I think the problem is more your perception of her life in comparison to hers.

Mute her on social media for a while.
Don’t make yourself feel bad by comparing yourself to her.