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Sleep training a one year old.. not sure

4 replies

SRK16 · 24/10/2020 14:47

My son has never been a good sleeper. I think he slept through the night maybe twice? Usually wakes two or three times a night. I also suffer from insomnia, so the wakings plus insomnia mean I’m really struggling... I have struggled with PND/PNA and the lack of sleep is a major contributing factor. My husband has always thought we should sleep train and I have not wanted to, i feel it’s developmentally normal for young children to wake and I don’t want to leave him to cry.
However, I am really worrying about how I am going to cope when I go back to work in two weeks. I have a very high stress job in mental health (ironically!) and will be back 3.5 days a week.

Has anyone sleep trained a child of this age and if so what was it like?

I am still breastfeeding but he basically only feeds to sleep so I imagine sleep training may mean an end to bf too (not really a problem, I’m happy to stop now, but don’t want my son to be really stressed out by it).

Would appreciate any thoughts. I feel if I was talking to someone else I would say go for it.. but with the way I have been emotionally recently, and knowing I would be doing the sleep training basically solo (husband won’t be around to help much in the next few weeks)... I don’t know how I’ll manage. Sorry if that sounds pathetic I’ve just not been in a very good place and it feels overwhelming.

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SRK16 · 24/10/2020 14:52

Oh the other factor is we were considering ttc for number two next year (though not sure if this is a good idea or not) and I definitely cannot have another baby if my son is still sleeping this badly next year.

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Thirtyrock39 · 24/10/2020 15:01

I have done it at 9 months and 1 year. My advice would be to start with bedtime first as it's a massive life changer being able to put them in their cot at 7pm awake and know they'll settle themselves in a few minutes and you have a whole evening . I used to then have a time limit - about 1130pm - where if they woke before then I'd repeat the controlled crying (but after the first two evenings it was very rare they would stir) and then I'd gradually push the time limit back which might mean having to be up in the middle of the night for a few minutes to start with. My friend advised me to have my dressing gown, book etc to hand for night wakings so I was prepared for being up for a bit in the night but to be honest it was only every a few minutes of on off crying when I tackled the night wakings and I can remember not even having to get up most of the time they'd cry for maybe a minute and then go back to sleep. Bedtime and teaching them to self settle is the hardest bit but so worthwhile.
I'm doing some online learning for work about children's sleep and the health benefits are so worth remembering - definitely out weighs a couple of evenings of crying at bedtime .
It took us three evenings - the first was awful well over an hour of crying with us going in at regular intervals , the next night was hard as well maybe half an hour but by the third it took ten minutes and then no tears at all.

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Thirtyrock39 · 24/10/2020 15:02

Just to add I was breastfeeding and had been co sleeping and mine were terrible sleepers till then and we've never had any issues with sleep since

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Ohalrightthen · 24/10/2020 15:20

Stopping feeding to sleep doesn't mean stopping bf, just do the last feed downstairs in a bright room and then do the bedtime routine after. Or you can be more gradual about it, i did it at 6m so don't have much experience with older kids

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