Toddler and TV, feeling like a failure

[YellowEllis]

I have a Peppa pig and Little baby bum obsessed toddler. We sometimes let him have 20 mins in the morning, and for about half an hour before we start his bed time routine.

He's getting worse, he constantly brings us the remote and cries if we don't put it on. We started keeping remotes hidden. But he just runs to the tv and points at it again crying. This morning he did that and started screaming crying, I tried to distract him and play with him and he screamed for nearly nearly two hours until I caved and put it on just so he'd stop as my head felt like it was going to explode. Now he's happily eating his lunch dancing around to wheels on the bus.

I don't want him to dictate when he gets screentime, but the screaming goes on for hours when he doesn't get his way. I feel like such a failure when I put it on and his little face lights up. He toddles around and dances and plays with his toys whilst it's on, he doesn't just stare at it, so he'll get distracted with toys and I'll turn it off and he screams. I just don't know what to do.

[NoIdea1234]

Be firm! Next time he screams to watch some tv, let him scream and do not cave. He will understand there’s not point crying as you won’t give in, and he won’t cry for as long the following time. Good luck!

[fromcitytocountry]

You're doing a great job and you're not a failure for screen time. The novelty does wear off for them over time but right now it's still a 'new' thing for your little one.

My son is nearly 2 and if it's not going on due to bedtime or dinner etc I tell him that the characters have gone to bed as it's also nearly his bedtime too. Once he knows why it's a no he's fine but there are days where he still gets frustrated. Remember you are mum and they need your guidance but you're also human and need some breathing space. You got this!

[Seeline]

I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with the TV. Watch it with your child, interact with them, encourage them to join in with whatever the programme suggests - singing, dancing, finding stuff etc.

Both mine watched a lot of TV and they have turned out fine. Bith were very early to talk, and had extensive vocabularies. Both excelled in their GSCes.

Don't use it as a baby sitter to just plonk your child in front of and ignore. Choose programmes carefully. Don't feel guilty - especially in these difficult times when so many normal activities are out of bounds.

[FizzingWhizzbee123]

Mine reached the point where he could request things and suddenly tv badgering became a nightmare, particularly after it increased as hoc for a few months during lockdown. The thing that worked was being consistent about when he can have it. He knows he can watch tv after dinner and if he asks before, we say “later, after dinner”. Stick to it and mean it. We had a few weeks of tantrums but finally he realised we meant it and it all calmed right down and he takes being told later very well now.

[Disappointedkoala]

We only have TV on at a set time - so first thing because mummy needs tea before doing anything else, at snack time in the morning if we're in and then while I'm sorting the dinner of an evening. Anything else is a no. Mine has easy access to toys, books and craft stuff so there's always something else to do. Just be firm and stick to your guns, you'll get tantrums but it's easier in the long run to not give in I find!

[Disco91]

My toddler is obsessed and I hate it too. However, in fairness he now knows a lot of nursery rhymes off by heart at just two and has a fantastic vocabulary. The songs are largely educational (counting, animal noises/names, alphabet, good behavior examples) , so try not to beat yourself up as it sounds like it’s not on excessively. Just stick to your guns though if you don’t want it on else he will think if he kicks off you’ll turn it on, which will be a never ending battle!

[Standrewsschool]

Everyone has off days so don’t feel bad - we’ve all been there.

Unfortunately he has learnt that if he screams, you will cave. You need to stand firm and not give in. Set boundaries. Explain that the tv is not going in until after lunch (or when ever) and then let him scream it out. You don’t even need to try and distract. Just explain that you are not going to talk/play with him when he is screaming, then retreat to a place where you can keep an eye on him. Perhaps get a book or magazine out (probably best not to go on phone or iPad as that’s sending out the wrong message) to keep yourself occupied, and to send out a message that you’re not interacting with him when he’s screaming.

It’s not easy to hear your kid scream, but the little monsters can be very manipulative, and we all like an easy life.

[WellyBootsAreYouFrom]

Can you try a playlist of their favourite kids songs instead? You can dance around and make that fun?

[OhRosalind]

I think a bit of TV is fine, but caving into demands isn’t (however tempting it is) as they just learn that screaming and badgering works and you’ll be trapped in a cycle. IAs op have said, I try to restrict TV to set times (afternoon snack time for example) so the expectation is limited.

[popcorndiva]

Honestly as long as its educational not Peppa Pig or just cartoons its fine. My just turned 2 year old has watched educational videos like little baby bum, Bob the Train or cocomelon. He has a very large vocabulary now, can count to 100, name every shape, colour, animal and can read. They are like sponges. I do now only let him watch it when he is eating as otherwise the constant singing drives me potty. But its not all bad

[YellowEllis]

Christ, my boy is 16 months and can only say hi and duck. He's not picking up words as quick as some toddlers so the tv doesn't even seem to be helping