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Working from home with screaming baby

(165 Posts)
MooseBreath Thu 22-Oct-20 10:57:56

Here's our situation: I am a SAHM to nearly 5 month old DS. DS's sleeping has become unbearable, so we are using the Ferber method to sleep train him. Due to the pandemic, DH is working from home in a tiny box room office down the hall from DS's room. Obviously this is not ideal during the throes of sleep training (naptimes especially), and DH is at his wits end from the screaming during meetings. We're both sleep-deprived and struggling to come up with a solution.

Does anyone else have a similar set-up? What have you done to make working from home with an infant bearable?

OP’s posts: |
gigi556 Thu 22-Oct-20 10:59:11

Maybe try ear plugs or noise canceling headphones?

ScottishStottie Thu 22-Oct-20 11:00:22

From a quick google, it says that the ferber method isnt appropriate for babies under 6 months so maybe dont leave your tiny baby to scream and cry?

GreyishDays Thu 22-Oct-20 11:00:22

How long is he crying for? Shouldn’t take that long.

Maybe consider a different method.

Dollywood Thu 22-Oct-20 11:00:29

Take baby out in pram/ car to get them to nap.

Sirzy Thu 22-Oct-20 11:01:00

I don’t see how sleep training and work from home can be compatible.

Will he fall asleep on a walk/in the car? Could you take him out for a bit to get him to sleep?

Anoisagusaris Thu 22-Oct-20 11:02:12

Your baby is 5 months old - still a baby. Why would you want to sleep train them.

AriettyHomily Thu 22-Oct-20 11:02:29

Stick in the pram for naps. Dts didn't sleep In their cots for naps until they were down to one nap a day and where over one. It wasn't worth the balls he to try and make them.

Persipan Thu 22-Oct-20 11:03:44

I wonder whether maybe exploring gentler sleep training options would suit your situation better? At the risk of sounding like I'm being sarcastic, using a method involving crying involves, well, crying. In some situations that's essentially seen as an investment in better sleep down the line, but if the cost right now is disruption to work, it may not be the right balance for you?

YorkshireIndie Thu 22-Oct-20 11:04:13

You might have to take him for a walk to help get him to nap whilst DH works. Agree that sleep training before 6 months isn't a good idea but then LO and I just did cosleeping

VimFuego101 Thu 22-Oct-20 11:08:30

As a previous poster said - sleep training and working from home is not compatible. If you want your DH to be able to perform well at and keep his job then prioritize that and leave the sleep training.

MooseBreath Thu 22-Oct-20 11:09:13

DS doesn't sleep reliably in the pram or car seat, and without naps he doesn't sleep at night. He won't sleep on me and needs to be in a completely dark room. We have chosen to sleep train because it is the best option for us as a family. I would appreciate not being judged for this.

Thank you for those with helpful suggestions. Earplugs will be tested, but obviously can't be used during meetings.

OP’s posts: |
Lazypuppy Thu 22-Oct-20 11:09:48

OP ignore the people who comment on sleep training, plenty of people sleep train before 6 months.

Maybe try and time the naps with his meetings or something? If there is a clash do the nap in the pushchair?

EyeDrops Thu 22-Oct-20 11:11:40

You said nearly 5 month old, so, he's only 4 months currently? The 4 month sleep regression is definitely A Thing, and very likely what your baby is going through - developmental leaps affect sleep, it's simply not the case at 4 months old that your baby can learn to settle himself. His waking is developmentally appropriate, as much as it sucks for parents (DD2 woke every 45 minutes to an hour for a good few weeks!)

What usually works to get him to sleep? Can you take him out for some fresh air or a drive for his naps while your DH is working? I hope his sleep improves soon for you, it really is awful but you just need to find what works for you at the time!

PinkFondantFancy Thu 22-Oct-20 11:15:01

Is there a pub or similar that has WFH facilities nearby? Lots have started doing £10 for the day including lunch type deals.

Fact is, you've got 2 choices as I see it - either he finds somewhere else to work or you abandon sleep training and walk baby in a sling or pram when they're tired and need a nap. Even if he's not on a call, there's no way he can concentrate through screaming, and there's no headphones in the world that will do an effective enough job.

Slightly concerned that sleep training is involving that much crying and screaming though - you're doing total elimination rather than CC?

esmethurst Thu 22-Oct-20 11:15:40

OP I think the need to research the 4 month sleep regression. It's utterly brutal and a killer.

But there is so much evidence that explains why sleep training prior to 6 months is not recommended.

4 months is still tiny!

If they're getting distressed and crying for that long the method isn't working.

Dowermouse Thu 22-Oct-20 11:17:55

How has Ferberising babies been allowed to become acceptable again!?! It's no way to treat a human being, let alone one you love and who's physical and emotional well being and devolopment are solely your responsibility.
I get how gruelling a frequently waking 4 month old is, I've been pushed to the brink myself.
Please, give your baby all the cuddles, this will pass, honestly.

MooseBreath Thu 22-Oct-20 11:18:48

Thank you.

What usually works is feeding DS to sleep in a dark room whilst rocking him, them transferring to the crib as he will wake after 5 minutes on me. He is EBF, so it is only me who can currently get him to sleep. He has been waking every 30 minutes in the night and only sleeps for 40 minutes at naptimes (when he actually sleeps), which is unsustainable.

We think the 4-month sleep regression happened at 12 weeks as his patterns changed completely. I have now gotten into the bad habit of feeding to sleep, so he expects to be fed every time he wakes in the night or goes to sleep.

OP’s posts: |
MooseBreath Thu 22-Oct-20 11:20:23

Ferber method includes checking on the baby at set intervals, so it's not CIO and just leaving to cry indefinitely.

OP’s posts: |
esmethurst Thu 22-Oct-20 11:24:18

Oh my word OP!

Waking every 45 minutes is NORMAL!

Your child is literally developmentally absolutely perfect and normal.

They are not in a bad habit. They are feeding because they are hungry.

My heart is actually breaking for this baby

Findahouse21 Thu 22-Oct-20 11:24:21

I would just feed him when he wakes. Ivve done that from day 1 with both children. Dd2 has slept through a few times and now at 19 months only wakes once or twice a night without ever having been left to cry.

MoorGirl Thu 22-Oct-20 11:24:30

I really feel for you and sending solidarity. In fairness with CC methods you should see results relatively quickly. White noise / meetings with headphones in? Yes 5 months is young but life also has to go on so sometimes it’s worth a few hard days persevering for the greater good! Best of luck 👍

Inpeace Thu 22-Oct-20 11:24:39

Baby is crying as needs something - it may be sleep or it may be something else.

Leaving him to cry 😢
Not helping anyone.

AiryFairyMum Thu 22-Oct-20 11:25:20

Your poor baby. This is not recommended until at least six months.

PinkFondantFancy Thu 22-Oct-20 11:30:33

OP I just wanted to send you solidarity - I hear the desperation in your voice and I understand because my 1st was EXACTLY the same with waking. I can promise this will pass. Is cosleeping or having a sidecar cot an option? Because that way you can feed lying down and dose at the same time which makes all the difference in the world. Feeding to sleep is not a bad habit, it's a natural thing to do and anyone who tells you it's a "bad habit" needs to give their head a wobble.

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