I'm looking for some independent viewpoints on the situation I'm in and whether I'm being unfair. Thank you in advance for any thoughts.
Background:
I'm the Father of two boys (2.5 and nearly 1) and am legally married to their Mother.
Over the past year, we've split up and we spent 'full lockdown' apart; primarily as I was back living with my parents and sister for a period; my sister being a nurse in the NHS, it was agreed that this was quite a risky place to be and I didn't want to inadvertently pass anything on.
I didn't see my boys, other than through a window, for about 3-4 months.
I'm now living about 7 miles away from them in a house we own (it having been until recently rented out), with my Wife and the boys living in what was to be our 'forever home'.
My Wife is still on maternity leave and is due to go back to work in November, 3 days a week.
I'm self-employed.
The eldest is at a nursery for 3 hours, 3 times a week.
I'm the breadwinner and am providing everything that's needed/wanted.
I see the boys every day during the week, typically between 4pm and bed time (about 730) and I spend almost all the weekend with there with them.
I'm getting the impression I'm always being checked up on. If I'm out in the evening, I'm told that I'm being selfish as my Wife has to be at home with them and is up several times a night and early mornings.
I'm told that I've no idea how hard it is and that she's constantly tired and has no time to be her own person, as I do. I'm lucky to have the life I do, I'm told.
I want to be a Father my boys look up to and, in future, will understand that I did the right thing by them.
However, I'm feeling like I have to lie to their Mother about where I am some evenings (if I'm not at home working) and that's not healthy.
What could/should I be doing in this situation?
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Parenting
Recently Separated / Managing time with children / Setting expectations
10 replies
ttamesor · 21/10/2020 02:31
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