Talk

Advanced search

When do they really start sleeping through, and when did you stop cosleeping? 😐

(70 Posts)
BabyLlamaZen Sun 18-Oct-20 18:32:37

About to hit 12 months and still have a few proper breastfeeds a night. We just cosleep now so I don't have to get up which is great, but honestly, anyone been through similar and now have their bed back? 😂

Gentle methods please. If that just means I'm doomed, doomed for how long?

OP’s posts: |
RefuseTheLies Sun 18-Oct-20 18:35:14

My dd only reliably slept through the night at almost 5 years old confused Had I known how much sleep I was going to lose, I might not have had a child grin

ShinyGreenElephant Sun 18-Oct-20 18:37:17

My youngest is 23m and I started night weaning her at 20m. Took absolutely ages because I did it very slowly and gently but she now sleeps all night in her own bed, maybe once a week she will wake up and I just shush her, rub her back and she goes back down. I think younger than 18m night weaning can be a struggle for them but every baby is different. The first few weeks were soooo tough and I felt I'd ruined her sleep forever but everything is a million times easier now she goes to sleep at 7pm and thats it til the morning. And shes still breastfeeding the rest of the time, hasn't affected it at all. Good luck!

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme Sun 18-Oct-20 18:40:13

It totally depends. One of mine slept through from 8 months, which is pretty good for a breastfed baby. One at 11 months (I night weaned at 9 months). My third was 3 but I taught him to put his story CD on and go back to bed and try to go back to sleep from 2.5. I'd hear the CD go on regularly sometime in the night til he was 4 or 5 and occasionally even now at 9...

BendingSpoons Sun 18-Oct-20 19:58:05

With DC2 I gradually reduced co-sleeping. We mostly had him in his cot at bed time and he began to self settle. We then started putting him back in the cot after night wakings. We managed to get him mostly sleeping through in his cot at about 12m. (He woke on average 6 times a night from 4m-10m). There were some tears. We didn't leave him crying but he sometimes cried when constant breastfeeding was refused. We made 3 attempts at night weaning from 9m onwards and were successful third time.

Thatwentbadly Sun 18-Oct-20 19:58:08

DD1 was formula feed and dropped night time feeds at 13 months but she woke up for chats. We moved her into her own bed at 20 months and although we often had to hop in bed with her he would just snuggle back down. Not long after we decide to have another so it must have been that bad. She is 4 now and I would say needs DH about 1 out of 7 nights but it’s not equally spaced out.

DD2 is 14 months old and I recently make the mistake of teaching her to feed while laying down. She thinks the milk bar is open all night. Until they get their teeth, build a stronger immune system and stop learning huge things all bets are off for sleep.

BabyLlamaZen Mon 19-Oct-20 06:23:06

Thatwentbadly

DD1 was formula feed and dropped night time feeds at 13 months but she woke up for chats. We moved her into her own bed at 20 months and although we often had to hop in bed with her he would just snuggle back down. Not long after we decide to have another so it must have been that bad. She is 4 now and I would say needs DH about 1 out of 7 nights but it’s not equally spaced out.

DD2 is 14 months old and I recently make the mistake of teaching her to feed while laying down. She thinks the milk bar is open all night. Until they get their teeth, build a stronger immune system and stop learning huge things all bets are off for sleep.

Yes to the milk bar being open constantly 🤣

OP’s posts: |
Useruseruserusee Mon 19-Oct-20 06:28:53

I’ve been here! My second DS was a nightmare sleeper and woke every 30 minutes unless co-sleeping. When co-sleeping he woke every two hours 😴

He was very stubborn about sleep and we tried all sorts of gentle methods to help him. He has a medical condition and experienced a number of surgeries so we weren’t willing to use controlled crying.

Eventually just before he turned three he decided by himself that he would now sleep by himself in his ‘big boy’ bed and that is exactly what he did from that night onwards. It was an overnight dramatic change and he hasn’t woken in the night since. The relief is amazing!

My Mum used to tell me that at some point they will all sleep in their own beds.

TW2013 Mon 19-Oct-20 06:29:45

'Sleeping through' without feeding was about 6-12 months. Sleeping through without waking at all other than a very occasional nightmare I would say about 3-4. Good news is that as teenagers the only time they get onto our beds is to open stockings on Christmas Day!

seayork2020 Mon 19-Oct-20 06:31:48

DS woke once when he was born till 8 weeks, then slept through from then on.

We never co slept

TakeMeToYourLiar Mon 19-Oct-20 06:35:23

I hate to say this but I'm typing in bed with my 4 year old next to me

He starts in his room, but every night he comes in to me

ClockSpanner Mon 19-Oct-20 06:44:14

DC1 who is 3 comes in our bed shortly after our bedtime usually. DC2 who is 1 does wake sometimes but also can sleep through and is happy in their own bed. I've been a little stricter about things with DC2 and think it has helped. DC1 I night weaned at 11m but the worst wake ups were 14m onwards so the cosleeping really kicked in then. Ive tried multiple times to get them out of our bed but nothing really works. DC2 I night weaned at 7m and they only co sleeps with us if its a very bad night and I have failed multiple times to get them back in their cot. I know I haven't got to the months I found the hardest sleepwise with DC1 again yet but I do feel DC2 has better sleep habits overall so I'm really hoping for better! I think it all goes to show how different children are and you can help them try to sleep but some of it you just don't have control of and just have to get through.. echo the pp who said about at some point they will sleep in their own bed.. I agree with this.. though can't deny I am hoping for sooner rather than later with my 3 year old now! grin

Onceuponatimethen Mon 19-Oct-20 06:47:51

Co slept with two - one after the other, ebf to three for both

I found they both went to their own beds happily at three. I was relieved because it meant I could get more space and actually stretch out how I wanted to.

Miss it now though believe it or not! grin

Onceuponatimethen Mon 19-Oct-20 06:49:29

Forgot to say both mine slept through from four. There is an evidence based sleep research site called Basis. That seems to be the norm iirc

Goostacean Mon 19-Oct-20 07:01:11

Just in the process of night weaning my 10mo. The first night he woke at 4.40, DH soothes him in two attempts over 30mins and baby slept til 8.45. Last night, baby slept through. The crying has been minimal, and the relief is immense.

I’ve never coslept except when totally broken a few months in for the odd night- I sleep terribly with a child in the bed. My first slept through at 15mo consistently, when he went to nursery.

If you’re serious about wanting more rest and your bed back, I highly recommend gentle sleep training. Everyone wins when they’re getting good quality and sufficient sleep....

FreeAcorns Mon 19-Oct-20 07:25:27

I gently night weaned my first, who slept through for the first time at 14mo and slept through consistently from 2yo (stopped bf-ing altogether at 22mo).

I did this from 11mo:
When she woke at night, I re-settled in any way I could other than feeding for 10 minutes. If after 10 minutes she was still upset, I fed. If she fell asleep within 10 minutes but woke up again less than an hour later, I fed. I was quite sceptical about this as I thought she'd be impossible to re-settle without breastfeeding, but I was amazed that she actually re-settled in under 10 minutes a lot of the time. We cut down to 1 night feed this way.

Mylittlepony374 Mon 19-Oct-20 07:35:34

My first slept through reliably from about 2.5 years. Just decided she was a big girl who could sleep in her own bed. She was night weaned from around 18 months so it wasn't the magic bullet for sleep that it can be for some.
My second is 2.5 now. He no longer breastfeeds at night (naturally weaned himself) , just one before bed. Still doesn't sleep through reliably, comes into our bed 4/7 nights I'd say. I don't mind. I know I'll miss it when he no longer wants too.

Ohalrightthen Mon 19-Oct-20 07:52:33

seayork2020

DS woke once when he was born till 8 weeks, then slept through from then on.

We never co slept

That's very nice dear but it's completely irrelevant to the OP's situation. Also smug and unhelpful as fuck.

seayork2020 Mon 19-Oct-20 07:58:33

@ohalrightthen how the heck is it smug? The question was asked i answered it - you have issues it seems

Ohalrightthen Mon 19-Oct-20 08:25:52

seayork2020

*@ohalrightthen* how the heck is it smug? The question was asked i answered it - you have issues it seems

Well, if an OP asks "when did you stop cosleeping?" (as this one did) and you never started, then obviously your experience isn't relevant, is it? It's like people who never worked commenting on threads about how it feels like to retire.

Also, just a tip, when you're lucky enough to have a baby who sleeps through from 8 weeks, it will always come across as smug if you go about posting it on threads full of mums of toddlers who are still being woken in the night. But you know that really, you just wanted to feel superior this morning.

chunkyrun Mon 19-Oct-20 08:27:38

We co slept while breast fed until 5months. Then sleep trained into his own cot and room. Feeding wise we moved to combi. Luckily he woke up for a feed 10ish the would sleep through until 6 for next feed

seayork2020 Mon 19-Oct-20 08:35:50

Ah @ohalrightthen so you do have issues, my apology

Onceuponatimethen Mon 19-Oct-20 09:07:21

AFAIK the evidence (See links to academic papers on sites like the Durham uni affiliated BASIS and also on the separate site Kellymom) is that ebf and co sleeping dms might wake more but in the course of the whole night have better quality sleep as they never fully wake when baby wakes.

I can only say that my two are now school age and have brilliant sleep. At times I did feel grumpy ebf and co sleeping, but wouldn’t change it if I could go back, I think grumpiness goes with the territory of little ones who naturally will wake because that’s what they do!

ShinyGreenElephant Mon 19-Oct-20 09:31:11

@seayork2020 it was very smug and unhelpful as I'm sure you intended it to be. You must know your experience is highly unusual for breastfed babies? You offered no advice just let us all know how easy you had it, very helpful

onlyreadingneverposting8 Mon 19-Oct-20 09:56:46

Honestly...over my 8 children the average age has been 3.5 yrs. A couple had a period of early sleeping through 2-5 months old but then regressed to waking lots of times for the next couple of years! One didn't sleep through until he was 6 although it was the case that he just woke up came through, I said "go back to bed" and that was that! I would say that by 2yrs old night wakings were down to once or twice normally.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in