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Feeding/Weight

(25 Posts)
Metzfits84 Wed 30-Sep-20 04:04:03

I recently became a mum. My daughter is now 4 months but I am having issues with feeding. Her weight is just over 10lbs and she is getting 7-8oz bottles x4. Now, this seems excessive in my opinion, but I keep getting told it's fine by my H.V. and GP. I've been around babies all my life and I have never seen this, even in "hungry babies". I've tried every milk available, which has not helped. Has anyone ever witnessed this? Because it cannot be normal but I keep getting contradicted and I'm losing patience.

OP’s posts: |
DaisyChainsForever Wed 30-Sep-20 04:20:09

Is she only having 4 feeds in 24 hours? That doesn't seem excessive to me?

Disappointedkoala Wed 30-Sep-20 06:25:25

I've just checked our red book and DD was over 16lbs by that stage and having 6 bottles of 8oz (5 day time & 1 night bottle). I just fed on demand and she seemed perfectly happy and healthy.

Metzfits84 Wed 30-Sep-20 09:50:22

I'm combining bottle feeding with breastfeeding so that's more milk. She feeds until she naturally comes off the breast. Also with bottles she ends up screaming after 30 minutes. I'm barely getting time to eat so I'm losing weight and now my hair.

OP’s posts: |
Willow4987 Wed 30-Sep-20 09:55:51

My DS was on about 6 feeds a day at that age, totalling about 40oz of milk. But he’s 98th percentile

Couldntthinkofausername24 Wed 30-Sep-20 10:15:54

I got told off twice by my son's paediatrician on two occasions I was over feeding my baby. He's always had a big appetite. He's now 7 months old and weighs nearly 10kg. The way the paediatrician told me to work it out was dividing 150ml of milk per kg of babies weight and then dividing that between how many bottles baby eats. So for example 150ml times by 10kg is 1500ml which is what my baby should be having a day. One bottle be might have 8oz another be might have 3oz but in a 24 hour period he has 1500. I spoke to my health visitor about what the doctor said and she said it's rubbish and that is text book. There is no way I would share my baby to fit in with the guidelines. Not all babies are the same.

I would suggest not listening to any contradicting information and be totally led by baby. If she is hungry then feed her.

If she's happy and content and thriving then you feed up that babe of yours flowers

Couldntthinkofausername24 Wed 30-Sep-20 10:17:12

Sorry that should say starve. There is no way I would starve my baby

Lockdownseperation Wed 30-Sep-20 10:51:52

Is your baby following their own curve in the red book?

If you are combi feeding are you pace feeding bottles so it’s similar to breast feeding in the amount of sucking?

Metzfits84 Wed 30-Sep-20 11:54:43

Her curve seems to fluctuate. But she breastfeeds until naturally comes off the breast, and she gets both breasts. Breastfeeds last between 40-1hour. But 30 minutes later she's hungry again, even with bottles. So within 24 hours she gets approximately 40oz. She's only 4 months and according to every website she should only be getting 5oz bottles, not 8oz. She ends up puking and the formula milk curdles into cottage cheese. Breast milk doesn't cause this. I seriously don't get time to eat and I'm naturally petite as it is. Now massive clumps of hair are coming off when I brush or wash my hair. That is a sign of malnutrition. Plus she fights and fights until she gives up to exhaustion.

OP’s posts: |
Ohalrightthen Wed 30-Sep-20 12:22:14

OK, why on earth aren't you eating? Get your partner to bring you snacks, make sure the fridge is full of easy stuff, and take care of yourself. There is absolutely no point in martyring yourelf here, there are no medals in motherhood. If your baby has to cry for 5 minutes while you have a sandwich, so be it. The way you're managing now is ridiculous.

Ohalrightthen Wed 30-Sep-20 12:25:29

Also, are you sure she's hungry and not tired/bored?

Couldntthinkofausername24 Wed 30-Sep-20 12:50:27

Google postpartum hairloss. Its completely normally. X

Lockdownseperation Wed 30-Sep-20 12:51:18

Your hair coming out is post partum hair loss and is normal. When you are pregnant and in the first few months after having a baby you don’t loss any hair then a years worth of hair falls out over a couple of months. If you are worried about your health than see the GP.

You really need to make sure you are looking after yourself. I know it’s difficult DD2 had an allergy and would have 20+ poo a day and have huge vomits all the time, she would feed for an hour at a time and then had to uptight for at least 30 mins afterwards for she would vomit and I had school nursery drop off and pick ups and to feed her meals. I know it’s tough but make a sandwich when you can do you can eat it with one hand later. Prepare dinner while your baby naps in the sling.

How much does her weight fluctuate? Some fluctuations of centile is normal?
Do you pace feed with the bottle? It’s possible for a bottle feed baby to take too much milk, especially if you are combi feeding.
What is she fighting? Sleep?

THNG5 Wed 30-Sep-20 13:00:26

Babies don't read the instructions on the formula boxes so your baby "shouldn't" be having 5oz but what she wants. I'm on baby number 4 and every one of them as fed differently. Number 4 is 7 weeks old and has 9x4oz at the moment. He doesn't finish each bottle but is having at least 27oz a day. There is no normal so don't compare your baby to another or to what a website says.
My dd was a big baby and is now a big toddler. At 16 months, she is already starting to wear 2-3 year old clothes but it's not concerning as she's following her centile (98th).

DoulaSisters Wed 30-Sep-20 13:02:33

Wow, well done for keeping up feeding your very hungry baby. It sounds like you are having a tough time of it and losing your hair can be unnerving.
It sounds like your baby is growing well, you must be doing a great job feeding her. Your hair loss would be expected at this point after having a baby because it is the delayed shedding of hair that stops during pregnancy.
Why do you think your daughter is hungry again after 30mins? What is she doing to make you think this? You mentioned her being sick, how often is that happening?

DorotheaHomeAlone Wed 30-Sep-20 13:02:45

I ebf so can’t comment on quantities but both dramatic weight loss (due to breastfeeding) and hair loss (Due to hormone shift) are totally normal at 4 months post partum.

There’s also a big shift in how babies interact at this stage. They suddenly shift to needing entertainment rather than just care and also need ‘putting to sleep’ regularly to avoid overtiredness- they don’t just conk out like newborns. I’d be checking she isn’t just tired or bored before giving her more milk. Mine often ask for food when they’re actually tired.

CrazyKitkatLady Wed 30-Sep-20 13:11:26

How many breast feeds are you doing in a day?

And agree with @Ohalrightthen is it possible you’re feeding her when she’s tired / bored / wants comfort rather than hungry?

Metzfits84 Thu 01-Oct-20 02:10:04

I'm not sure if you intended to be rude, but don't assume such things. I am not martyring myself or trying to win any medals. I am a first time mother with difficulties of my own and ONE is eating. It takes me far longer than 5 minutes to eat anything due to risk of choking. So leaving my daughter to cry for 30-1 hour is something I will not do. Furthermore, my diet is specific so having any "quick snacks" simply do not exist in my diet. So yeah, I'm struggling to find time to eat decent meals that pose low risk of choking.

OP’s posts: |
GrumpyHoonMain Thu 01-Oct-20 04:34:54

Metzfits84

Her curve seems to fluctuate. But she breastfeeds until naturally comes off the breast, and she gets both breasts. Breastfeeds last between 40-1hour. But 30 minutes later she's hungry again, even with bottles. So within 24 hours she gets approximately 40oz. She's only 4 months and according to every website she should only be getting 5oz bottles, not 8oz. She ends up puking and the formula milk curdles into cottage cheese. Breast milk doesn't cause this. I seriously don't get time to eat and I'm naturally petite as it is. Now massive clumps of hair are coming off when I brush or wash my hair. That is a sign of malnutrition. Plus she fights and fights until she gives up to exhaustion.

My guess is the huge amounts of formula you give, plus not eating, has caused you to lose your supply (hair loss can also be a sign of this). It shouldn’t take 40mins to an hour for a breastfeed. I suggest you speak to a breastfeeding counseller asap to see how you can reinstate your supply.

Couldntthinkofausername24 Thu 01-Oct-20 07:32:05

@Metzfits84 I know how you feel about not managing to eat and I didnt have the same problems you have. My 7 month old had colic and reflux pretty bad for the first 3 months of his life and I honestly couldn't put him down as he would cry constantly. I ended up having bags of crisps and breakfast bars everywhere in the house. I couldnt even nip to the loo and I too didn't want to leave baby to cry. I had to hold him for naps too so i didn't have any time alone. I would wait until your partner is available to watch baby and then stock up and make stuff in bulk. I made sandwiches for 3 days and put them in the fridge so I just ran in to the kitchen and grabbed it from the fridge. Do you have a play gym for baby? That kept my little one occupied at 4 months for about 10 mins or so. Chances of you being local is very slim but if you are i have a spare. Take no notice of other posters - they are perfect mothers. Feel free to PM if you want to talk more x

Caspianberg Thu 01-Oct-20 07:33:22

I think they eat a lot at this age.
My 4 month old is 17lbs. He is solely breastfed but eats roughly every 2 hrs now day and night, sometimes every hour.

I think x4 bottles a day is a lot if you want to maintain breastfeeding. And an hr per feed seems like she is struggling to get much. An average feed here now is 5-10 mins, with a longer feed at bedtime usually

Ohalrightthen Thu 01-Oct-20 09:19:40

If you're having trouble eating to the point that you feel yourself becoming malnourished, then you need more help. Can a family member come by to support you? Could your partner take leave? Is a mothers help or similar an option?

I'd also see if you can get extra medical help, if at all possible, because spending an hour on a meal is unlikely to be doable for at least a couple of years.

Also want to reiterate my question - are you sure she's hungry and not bored or tired? At this age they start getting much more interested, and tend to need a lot more stimulation.

Ginfordinner Thu 01-Oct-20 11:10:20

It shouldn’t take 40mins to an hour for a breastfeed.

DD always took over an hour to feed. I don'r think she had a very good suck. I used feeding times to watch TV or videos (20 years ago)

GrumpyHoonMain Thu 01-Oct-20 11:21:49

Ginfordinner

*It shouldn’t take 40mins to an hour for a breastfeed.*

DD always took over an hour to feed. I don'r think she had a very good suck. I used feeding times to watch TV or videos (20 years ago)

Now if that happens you get referrals for tongue tie etc. It’s not normal at all. A feed from both breasts should take a max of 30mins and you should be hearing swallowing throughout.

My guess is OP has lost or massively reduced bm supply due to the formula and undereating so a breastfeeding counsellor is essential if she wants to continue to breastfeed.

Ohalrightthen Thu 01-Oct-20 11:29:16

Ginfordinner

*It shouldn’t take 40mins to an hour for a breastfeed.*

DD always took over an hour to feed. I don'r think she had a very good suck. I used feeding times to watch TV or videos (20 years ago)

Yeah that's not normal. By 4m it should take max 15min per boob ime.

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