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(11 Posts)I recently was out with DS (<2) and MIL pops by with her relative (she asked before if they could join). Within 1 minute of arriving, said relative suddenly whips out camera and takes lots of photos of DS. Non stop. Throughout the 20 minute encounter. Also ushers MIL into the frame encouraging her to pose like this and like that with DS. I stand by like a lemon. I did later ask MIL if the photos are just for us? I was irritated tbh by the photo shoot. MIL later sends photos round to family WhatsApp group and there are a couple of portraits of DS that are clearly photoshopped by MIL’s relative. Like Edited to I don’t know, “Improve” his skin and nose/mouth.
The whole thing irks me. (A) they almost objectify him in an entitled way like he’s theirs to take photos of as they please without asking me, (B) like all I did was birth him and now I’m not relevant (hence the photos with MIL only), and (C) who the f* photoshops photos of someone else’s child. Isn’t it weird?!
Curious to know your thoughts. I am conscious that A and B are probably me projecting my insecurities on the scenario. But also wondering if there’s something objectively annoying about it to? Or is it just me?
Why didn’t you say something at the time?
What actually happened?
I think it is hard to say things at the time but we got into the way of just saying no.
You can contact the relative and politely say please don't circulate the pictures orpost online.
Stand up for your children and say no in future.
They should ask before taking photos of someone else's child, but it's hard to know what MIL told them. With regard to the editing, it's normal to post processing these days - usually to get skin tones correct, as the camera doesn't work the same way the same way your eye does. It takes a while to get the hang of post processing, and early attempts can look odd. I suspect relative is an enthusiastic amateur, and MIL may have asked her for some photos? I don't think it's unreasonable for MIL to want photos of her and DGS, but they didn't handle it very well.
I think there are people for whom life is a constant photography session. Your scenario is maybe not one to overthink, but it is a bit odd. I’d always ask before taking pics of people’s kids.
So a grandmother took photos of her grandchild? Once she's taken one say A that's enough now or B I'm a selfish fuck I resent you stay away from my baby he's not yours. That should get rid of her.
Thanks for your comments. Helpful to see what others think. Totally happy for MIL to have photos with DGS and in fact I obviously take photos of them together. It’s more the way it was handled. And fact i have met MIL’s relative 2x in 10 years or something so don’t really know her for her to be treating my child like a zoo animal.
As a side note, have people completely lost the ability to just “be” in a moment? Do we have to obsessively capture it always?
@infinitesheldon, thanks I like your advice. Sometimes we all deserve to be selfish fucks.
YANBU at all. Work on saying no in the future.
I suspect that your relative was focusing on doing something nice for your MIL. Twenty minutes is not a long photography session for someone who's keen on photography.
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