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I feel like the worst mum in the world!

(18 Posts)
itsnotallrainbows Thu 17-Sep-20 14:13:47

I deserve the hate comments because I feel so guilty for what I did.
Ds who's 4 wouldn't eat his lunch I made and kept asking and shouting for chocolate but I refused to give him any without having some dinner first.
He then proceeds to bite me so I put him in time out and he just laughed and tried biting me again. So I put him back into time out and told him how it's not nice etc. Nothing was working..he then started to pick anything up and throw it at me.
The day before his super mario birthday balloons had come and he wanted some of them and I blew some up for him. Out of anger I popped all the balloons because he just wouldn't listen. His little face he looked absolutely gutted and cried his little eyes out and I felt terrible. He kept asking me to blow them back up and I went into the bathroom to have a cry 😢 I feel so bad but time out wasn't working. Luckily I have a couple spare but he's so upset with me. I try my best but I just feel like a vile mother and it such a cruel thing I did! sad

OP’s posts: |
LunchBoxPolice Thu 17-Sep-20 14:24:58

You shouldn’t have popped the balloons, but you know that. You aren’t a vile mother, you are a mother who reached the end of her tether and reacted in anger and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been there. I certainly have.

keepingbees Thu 17-Sep-20 14:32:09

You're not vile or cruel, you're teaching your child that his behaviour is unacceptable and there are consequences. Ok maybe popping his balloons wasn't ideal, but maybe next time he'll think twice about biting and throwing things at his mother. He's 4, not a baby and that kind of thing needs nipping in the bud.

Holshicup Thu 17-Sep-20 14:39:57

Move on op, not worth the guilt. Have yet to meet the perfect parent.

itsnotallrainbows Thu 17-Sep-20 14:41:36

Thank you everyone, maybe next time il just take the balloons away and not pop them I just knew it would get him to stop because I don't agree with spanking but time out wasn't working. Sometimes you just feel like the only one but thank you

OP’s posts: |
INeedNewShoes Thu 17-Sep-20 14:49:50

I honestly think that your 4 year old biting you needed tough punishment. It is 100% inexcusable behaviour and at 4 he should know that.

DD (3) bit me for the first time this week. I've told her that if she ever bites me again that I will take away a toy (one she is bothered about) as biting is so serious that I need to show her how unacceptable it is.

The balloons thing was wrong because it was you losing your temper (which I understand) rather than a controlled reaction but its a long way off being 'vile'. You didn't physically or verbally abuse your DC but did effectively get your point across that he had gone too far.

Don't be too hard on yourself. When I've had a moment like this I dip back into a book called 'How to talk so little kids will listen' which I do find useful.

I do think with biting though that you need to come down on it like a ton of bricks.

Hilleni Thu 17-Sep-20 14:54:03

Read 'how to talk so little kids will listen' and 'the book you wish your parent had read' they're both on audible. It gives you strategies to diffuse situations just like this before they escalate.

LilaButterfly Thu 17-Sep-20 15:02:00

I did the exact same thing with DS when he was that age blush
Not my finest hour.
But i am yet to meet a mother who has never overreacted. Have a talk with him and a cuddle. He will be fine.

Bubbletrouble43 Thu 17-Sep-20 15:20:51

You are so not the worst mum in the world. Far from it. You made a mistake, you move on. It's hard when they play up! Been there.

hopeandhorses Thu 17-Sep-20 15:21:44

Your not vile at all please don't ever say that about yourself.
He is understandably upset, yet he now knows you mean business!

Biting is unacceptable. He now knows the consequences are serious and mummy is not playing around.

whoknows1230 Thu 17-Sep-20 15:29:04

Most mums will have been in a similar situation. I know I certainly have.

And, when I felt guilty about it, my friend pointed out that good mums feel guilt, it's the mums that don't care that don't feel guilt

itsnotallrainbows Thu 17-Sep-20 15:33:56

Thank you everyone grin I feel a lot better!
I definitely need to sort this biting out he is so bad with it. As soon as he feels angry and upset he bites and screams til he is red in the face

OP’s posts: |
Gettingonabitnow Thu 17-Sep-20 19:01:25

I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same, at the end of the day we are only human. X

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Thu 17-Sep-20 19:03:49

If you were a bad mum, you wouldn't care.

We all make mistakes, everyone has a breaking point, and maybe he has learned a lesson.

Tomorrow is a new day op flowers

sarahc336 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:06:41

Personally I think you reacted in a way to show him a consequence which is a really important life lesson for him so no judgement from me smile Biting you needed a tough punishment, he'll survive and you should ignore the mum guilt, these kids don't come with a guide book do they were all just winging it grin

SummerHouse Thu 17-Sep-20 19:09:31

You popped a few balloons. No biggie. You didn't hurt him. One thing is for sure, it won't make him love you any less. flowers

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo Thu 17-Sep-20 19:12:14

Unless he has SN 4 is far too old to be biting.

He crossed the line and will be fully aware of that. 4 year olds have more awareness than we give them credit for. I wouldn't feel guilty about this, let it be a cautionary tale for the next time he lets fly with his teeth.

OverTheRainbow88 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:27:46

I can so imagine doing exactly the same thing, you’re already a much kinder mum than me as I’ve never bothered with bday balloons!

Give it time and you can joke about how you popped his balloons! Maybe change the memory to a fun one?!!

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