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What sort of 50/50 parenting arrangements do you have?

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TingeOfTheGinge Sun 13-Sep-20 13:53:03

I'd be really grateful if you could help with this!

We currently have an arrangement where my DP's kids are with us 4 days one week, 3 days the next, with a split over the summer holidays, and Christmas. So it is entirely 50/50.

There are some issues with travelling for school (which we are very happy to manage) and the children are primary age at the moment. There is very limited opportunity for them to engage in extracurricular activities due to the timings.

We anticipate it may be more difficult in Secondary. Because of living in two different (neighbouring) counties, the secondary school systems are very different. The older child has repeatedly expressed an interest in the way our school system works here, and we would like to propose a different split that would enable that to happen, it would be impossible under the current arrangement.

What 50/50 arrangements do other people have that would enable the children to be in the same home every Monday-Thursday nights? We're worried about how it might work.

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TingeOfTheGinge Sun 13-Sep-20 15:19:53

Bump

Would really appreciate any help!

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Elbie79 Mon 14-Sep-20 19:45:59

Some people do Mon, Tues always with mum, Weds, Thurs always with dad, then alternate Friday after school to Monday before school every other week. At least that means the same nights each week so DC can commit to eg Monday night football.

It stands to reason that if Mon to Thurs every week in one place the only way that could be facilitated retaining 50/50 overall would be the "school parent" losing weekend and holiday time. Shame for them having more of the routine stuff and less fun time, but it's an option.

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COS2102 Tue 15-Sep-20 09:07:11

At the moment we have it split so that one house always has weekends plus one midweek. This has been the situation for nearly 4 years now and before that it was the same split as yours. It really is crazy that one parent is missing out on all the weekends but that was their choice because they wanted their own freedom on a weekend. LO is 8 currently but is already discussing going to high school in the town of the 'weekend parent' but that is accompanied by wishes to spend more time in that home anyway. For us, it's a wait and see because we have a long while off and a big change coming to the family soon which we need to see the impact of.
It definitely isnt an easy situation but I guess the starting point is speaking to the child about sharing their thoughts with their other parent so everyone knows how they feel about high school etc and it gives the openness to potential conversations between adults