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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

I don't know if this is bad or not

44 replies

Unknown69 · 10/09/2020 03:07

I don't know if this is bad or not ....

So I had a child a few month ago it was completely unexpected and I've never wanted children but loving him as soon as I met him.
The problem is my bf he was fine the first month but then went back to work and would go straight to my friends house when he got back from work didn't even come in the house then would stay for hours and come back to eat then go back again and wouldn't come back till about 9-10 pm I would probably see him about 20 mins to an hour each day is this bad or am I just over reacting ????
It just makes me feel so alone I'm in all day with no one, I have no one to talk to, he hardly replies then when ever he decides to come back we talk for a few minutes and he falls asleep it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough like why are you never here I've just had your baby, isn't it normal to want to be around the mother of your child or your actual child

OP posts:

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lilmishap · 10/09/2020 03:28

You ARE on your own all day. Wtf is he doing at your friends house?

Unknown69 · 10/09/2020 03:50

@lilmishap

You ARE on your own all day. Wtf is he doing at your friends house?

Watching tv and talking

OP posts:

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 10/09/2020 04:10

Is your friend female?

userghki · 10/09/2020 04:43

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Is your friend female?

This

wannabebump · 10/09/2020 05:18

Watching tv and talking?

I think there's way more to it. So you're home alone pretty much 24/7, he needs to buck up his ideas.

Is your friend female?

Unknown69 · 10/09/2020 06:54

@wannabebump

Watching tv and talking?

I think there's way more to it. So you're home alone pretty much 24/7, he needs to buck up his ideas.

Is your friend female?

Yes she's female but I don't think he would do anything with her because she is a lesbian and 17

OP posts:

justthecat · 10/09/2020 06:58

So he manages to come home for food?!
Get rid he’s using you

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 10/09/2020 07:00

Sorry OP he doesn’t want to be a father.
I assume his friend being 17 he’s young too?

AnyFucker · 10/09/2020 07:03

What ?

Unknown69 · 10/09/2020 07:07

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Sorry OP he doesn’t want to be a father.
I assume his friend being 17 he’s young too?

He's 30 and has 4 other children

OP posts:

roadsurvey · 10/09/2020 07:10

What on earth do the 17 year olds parents make of an adult man visiting all the time?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 10/09/2020 07:13

30 yr old hanging out with a 17yr old?????

4 children already?

OP this won’t end well sorry!

MinnieJackson · 10/09/2020 07:54

Woman, man or alien, it doesn't matter. he's being a dick. Are you young parents? This isn't right. Don't make him any tea next time and see what his reaction is.

roadsurvey · 10/09/2020 07:56

Don't make him any tea next time and see what his reaction is.

What on earth

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 10/09/2020 08:09

Your 17 year old friend is a dick for letting him come over for all that time when she knows you're at home with the baby alone.

Your partners a dick for not being there to help out, and just generally not being a good human.

None of it is ok. Talk to your 'friend' about it. I get the impression your partner wont care anyway. I hate to say this, but id prepare to be a single mum. Get any money/savings together. Find some other support networks. Kick him out. You're basically a single mum already.

Itsrainingnotmen · 10/09/2020 08:11

Sorry but he has moved on to groom and impregnate another victim..

slipperywhensparticus · 10/09/2020 08:11

Your a single mom with a cockloger exorcise it out of your life

roadsurvey · 10/09/2020 08:17

Your 17 year old friend is a dick for letting him come over

NO NO NO NO NO

What on earth is wrong with people. The 17 year old is a fucking child. The dick in this situation is the 30 year old ADULT man.

Get to fuck blaming young and vulnerable people for the actions of a cunt.

Queenoftheashes · 10/09/2020 08:23

What the fuck?? No this isn’t ok. Do your friend’s parents know about this? He sounds extremely creepy and also pointless.

Angelina82 · 10/09/2020 08:29

Your 30yr old bf would rather hang out with a 17yr old than his baby and it’s mother?!!! What does he do with her? Gaming? Whatever he needs to grow the fuck up and face up to his responsibilities! Does he even see his other children? Does he doss at yours live with you? How old are you OP? I’m guessing quite young if you’re having to question if the way this selfish manchild is behaving is bad or not?

crazychemist · 10/09/2020 10:21

Your 30yo bf is spending all his time hanging out with a 17yo girl. I’m afraid you’re basically not in a relationship with him. It sounds like he didn’t want the child, so can’t be bothered with you or it.

What do you get out of this “relationship”? He obviously isn’t fussed about spending time with you, romantically or otherwise. He comes home to eat and go to sleep - he’s bored of this relationship. Is this the life you want? Eventually he’s going to leave, you must know that deep down.

lilmishap · 10/09/2020 11:58

How does he treat his other children?

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Tacca · 10/09/2020 12:36

I am very sorry, it must be very difficult having just had a baby for your BF to act this way. Unfortunately some men just run away from responsibility and commitment.

It must be a horrendous time for you and whilst everyone on here is being very harsh, they are also correct. We sometimes forget how hard it is to see clearly when we love someone.

Unless you know from another source that she is a lesbian, then that is probably just an excuse they used to stop you suspecting anything.

Even if it was just a friend, which I would be very surprised about. Not being there for your gf and your new baby is completely out of order.

First off tell him if he is going to spend every day at his "friends" when he has a new baby, he can stay there. You have to be very firm and give him an ultimatum. He will probably run a mile but trust me it is better to find out now than drag it out for a year, as heartbreaking as it may seem.

If he leaves know that you will be fine and he is the one that will lose out. He will never get those memories that he will miss out on with you and his baby.

Unknown69 · 10/09/2020 13:40

@Angelina82

Your 30yr old bf would rather hang out with a 17yr old than his baby and it’s mother?!!! What does he do with her? Gaming? Whatever he needs to grow the fuck up and face up to his responsibilities! Does he even see his other children? Does he doss at yours live with you? How old are you OP? I’m guessing quite young if you’re having to question if the way this selfish manchild is behaving is bad or not?

I'm 27

OP posts:

Unknown69 · 10/09/2020 13:42

@Tacca

I am very sorry, it must be very difficult having just had a baby for your BF to act this way. Unfortunately some men just run away from responsibility and commitment.

It must be a horrendous time for you and whilst everyone on here is being very harsh, they are also correct. We sometimes forget how hard it is to see clearly when we love someone.

Unless you know from another source that she is a lesbian, then that is probably just an excuse they used to stop you suspecting anything.

Even if it was just a friend, which I would be very surprised about. Not being there for your gf and your new baby is completely out of order.

First off tell him if he is going to spend every day at his "friends" when he has a new baby, he can stay there. You have to be very firm and give him an ultimatum. He will probably run a mile but trust me it is better to find out now than drag it out for a year, as heartbreaking as it may seem.

If he leaves know that you will be fine and he is the one that will lose out. He will never get those memories that he will miss out on with you and his baby.

I know she is a lesbian I've known her for 5 years and him for 1 they only met a few months ago and he says he's just trying to help her out because she's not doing good

OP posts:

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