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Tired and overwhelmed with 7 month old

(5 Posts)
Firsttimer1986 Tue 08-Sep-20 21:43:34

Sorry for the lengthy offloading...

I’m exhausted and overwhelmed just now and as much as my sensible brain knows it’s a phase and it’ll pass, it’s hard to remember that when I’m in the thick of it.

I have an amazing, funny, clever, quirky 7 month old girl that I love more than I ever thought possible. Thing is she hates to sleep, or be put down ever, or be looked at by anyone other than me. Most days we get by grand and the good more than outweighs the tough. But I’ve felt like I’m drowning this week. Poor mite is teething which doesn’t help.

I breastfeed to sleep (I know, I know) and she’s started fighting it so much than I dread naps and bedtime coming around. She just won’t settle with anyone else. We’ve ended up bedsharing (safely) just so I can get a little rest. I’ll put her down for the night and spend my whole evening back and forth resettling her until I give up and just go to bed. She often doesn’t even feed, just latches on for comfort and drifts back off. Many many many times a night! Classic bottle and dummy refuser, though she’ll happily take milk from a cup during the day now.

I’m struggling to see a way out/find the energy to tackle teaching her to settle to sleep herself. I cannot let her cry it out, I know I won’t be able to leave her distressed. Guess I’m feeling super stuck just now. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now and we’d be right in the swing of things but I still feel like I’m just getting my head round being a mum. My other half is very supportive but it just doesn’t feel like he gets it.

I feel silly sometimes as I’m only dealing with one baby and I do have helpful family and friends, there are so many people dealing with SO much more. I know there’s no set answers, and it WILL pass, but it’s been quite cathartic to let it all out somewhere that people can relate 😊

OP’s posts: |
user1493413286 Tue 08-Sep-20 21:52:43

I’ve got a 6 month old and I was feeling very much like you until recently; I ended up crying to the health visitor about sleep deprivation and they put me in touch with a sure start worker just to help work through the sleep issues. It was just a couple of phone calls but it helped me make sense of where to start and I decided to tackle naps first; I got one of those white noise sheep things and started putting DS to nap in his cot stroking his back through the bars and putting the white noise on. I won’t pretend there wasn’t some crying but he wasn’t left to cry and I was there throughout it and after the first couple of days he got used to it and it started having a positive effect on the night. He’s gone from 1-2 hourly wake ups to waking twice a night and is much easier to settle back down as the white noise works as a good sleep cue.
I’ve got an older DD and before DS was born I thouhht I knew what I was doing but he’s been such a different baby that I’ve really floundered at times.

Tacca Tue 08-Sep-20 22:04:45

Sleep deprivation is a killer no matter how many babies you have.

We foster and have had a few babies similar who wake up a lot, but not quite as bad as the sound of your little one. Instead of picking them up when they stir, we rub their back, stroke their hair, give them their favourite teddy or whisper gently to let them know you are there.

If she isn't taking a dummy, there are many different shapes now. Some babies prefer the ones that look like a gumshield, others a normal one. The one we find works best for most is the tommee tippee one that is in the shape of a bottle teat, closer to nature I think it is called.

7 months is around the time they realise that they are their own person and when it can be very difficult. Try not to be so hard on yourself, everyone would feel the same as you if they were going through it.

Tonic54 Wed 09-Sep-20 06:20:22

Sorry you are having a hard time, sleep deprivation is awful. My son sounds like your daughter and I really found 7-10months hard as I felt he should be sleeping much better. I downloaded loads of sleep programs but could never follow them properly as couldn't stand hearing him cry.

I wish I hadn't spent so much time worrying about feeding to sleep etc and trying but failing to implement routines/sleep associations as they didn't work for him and made me feel more like a failure. It will get better with time whatever you do.

Lockdownseperation Wed 09-Sep-20 07:11:39

It’s such hard work. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and in my experience you are currently in the worse bit of parenting. There are some many leaps and growth spurts which makes sleep worse.

Is she down to two naps a day now or still on 3? When she drops to 1 it’s amazing you get a chunk of time during the day and evening sleep starts to improve.

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