Best age gap between children

I don’t believe there’s a perfect age gap. It’s your parenting and family that matters.
Also some children are just very different and won’t get on regardless of how close in age they are.

To add- I have 4 years 11 months between DD & DS2 and 17 months between DS1 & DS2. I love both.

What are they saying?
I bet you’re doing brilliant. It’s difficult when the baby is so young. I remember holding both DD and DS1 while they slept as DD was in reception when I had DS. But with DS2 he always got put straight down so I could play with DS1. Don’t take any notice of other people.

I hate these threads. You can't always plan. And threads like these make me feel shit. Every single time

Your husband/in laws sound like arses. Next time they criticise tell them that it might be easier to live up to their apparent standards if they helped out like decent partners/family.

There is no ideal gap, all kids are different. It sounds like you're doing your best & that's good enough.

Why do you feel shit?

Age gaps are frequently not a choice.

@jay120 sorry to hear your husband and in laws are making these comments. It’s hard looking after two and being a new parent and they should be supporting you, not looking to criticise! I’m sure you are doing great x

@enroutes don’t open the thread if you don’t like the title?
Of course you can’t plan age gaps. It took us 2 years to conceive DS1. What I replied was that it depends on the parents IE you make it work whatever the gap.

@jay120 they sound awful your husband should be helping you! As for the in laws, just ignore them! I’m sure you’re doing brilliant

I get the impression that smaller age gaps are harder at first but can be easier when the children are older logistics wise and are able to do the same things. Likewise bigger gaps are easier when the younger is a baby and the older is more independent but can be logistically more difficult later when you have to try and work around both their needs.

We have a 3.5 year age gap and I really like it. My kids play together really well (also fight like any siblings) and it wasn’t as intense I don’t think as a two year gap.
However it totally depends on circumstance, personalities and like others have said it’s not something you can always plan.
We will have an unplanned six year gap between our youngest and the third on his/her way.

It's also fair to say nothing really guarantees what sort of relationship any siblings will have either growing up or as adults.

I have under two years between DC1 and DC2. I wanted the same gap between DC2 and DC3 but that didn't happen and we got just over 3 years. I am glad in a way because that gap is easier but it is not easy and there were times that DC2 didn't get as much of my attention as I'd liked to have given due to feeding baby etc. Your husband and his family are being very rude.