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Parenting

Hysterical newborn

21 replies

blvdbrokendreams · 27/08/2020 02:25

My baby is 12 days old. She's usually a content little girl. When it comes to changing her nappy or clothes she goes absolutely hysterical. Bright red and screaming which goes up in pitch if we're not done quick enough. We put a cloth under her so she isn't on the cold mat. We talk to her the entire time and cuddle her after. Is there anything else we can do to make changing less awful for her. She gets absolutely hysterical and it breaks my heart. She seems so distressed. Thanks

OP posts:

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NelliePig · 27/08/2020 02:55

When do tend to change her nappy? Before a feed? After? Does she cry like that any other time? Is it both day and night nappy changes? X

Russell19 · 27/08/2020 03:09

Are you using wipes to clean her? Try and warm them so they're not cold.

Does she have the start of a nappy rash? It may be sore?

Minimumstandard · 27/08/2020 03:27

Can you try warming the wipes in (lukewarm) water and singing to her while you change her? Also make sure the room you're changing her isn't chilly... Nappy rash aside, it's likely to be the change in temperature.

Have you started giving her regular baths yet? DS used to love baths with me as a tiny baby and it got him used to water and getting wet and then he didn't mind the nappy change so much.

If none of this works, just suck it up and do as quickly as you can! She's tiny, everything is still incredibly strange for her and she's changing so quickly it might not be a problem in a week or so.

blvdbrokendreams · 27/08/2020 05:34

@NelliePig we feed her after a change. She will not latch onto the bottle or me until she has a clean bum. She likes to be clean before she feeds.

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blvdbrokendreams · 27/08/2020 05:36

@Russel19 never thought to warm the wipes up. She starts whinging as soon as she's on the mat which then escalates from there. Try warming them up

@MinimumStandard she adores baths. She's happy to stay in the warm water all day. Getting her out is another matter entirely

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blvdbrokendreams · 27/08/2020 05:38

@NelliePig sorry forgot to add she doesn't like changes at all but she's definitely worse on a night when it comes to getting worked up. I can't leave her in her own mess so we have to change her. But the 2am changes makes me feel like I'm murdering her. Once she's picked up and cuddled she shuts up immediately.

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TheWildRumpyPumpus · 27/08/2020 05:44

If she starts whinging as soon as she’s on the mat (before undressing or anything) then is already hungry at this point? That could be all it is?

Otherwise as others have said just get it done as quickly as possible! And keep her wrapped up as much as you can do she doesn’t get cold.

blvdbrokendreams · 27/08/2020 05:47

@TheWildRumpyPumpus I think it's hunger but she will not even take a bottle or breast at all if she's got a wet nappy. She spits it out. Minute she's clean she feeds. Fussy 😂 think we might have to just grin and bear it. It's just such a heartbreaking sound. Once we have cuddles she settles down immediately

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Minimumstandard · 27/08/2020 06:02

Sure this isn't what you want to hear but if she only cries for changes you're quite lucky ! My son grizzled for hours as a baby in the first few months.

NelliePig · 27/08/2020 06:03

Oh bless her :( My Evie was like this until we changed to another brand of nappies, she would scream the minute her nappy was slightly wet! Now shes sleeps 8pm till about 2ish then I'll change her, but she doesnt care, I've just got her out of her cot and put her straight to the breast, I'll change her when she wakes up again for the day about 8am. Only exception being if she has pooped. She 7 weeks now so could possibly be an age thing too?
Have you tried changing her elsewhere? If Evie wakes up in a complete state I often just grab a nappy and change her on our bed for example.

Either way it wont last forever, we are only 7 weeks in and I cant tell you how many times she has decided she doesnt like something then loved it the next day.

Also a little tip for you .. buy zip up sleepsuits will cut the time it takes to change right down, h and m do them I think its 15quid for 2 xxx

Minimumstandard · 27/08/2020 06:05

Yes, zip up sleepsuits are great! We've only just stopped using them for DS, 2 and a half. Especially when they're wriggly little toddlers trying to escape bed time...

blvdbrokendreams · 27/08/2020 06:15

@MinimumStandard oh I know she's a good baby. It's just this heartbreaking scream at changing time. I've never seen a baby so angry and red. I just wanted to know if it was normal and any ideas.

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KitKatastrophe · 27/08/2020 06:19

She will probably grow out of it soon, I wouldn't worry too much :)

greenemerald · 27/08/2020 06:20

My DS did this for the first few weeks! He absolutely hated nappy changes, clothes changes and baths also! I think he just hated feeling exposed and cold. He's grown out of it since he was about 10ish weeks and is now 4mo. I use water and cotton pads and ensure the water is quite warm, this seemed to help! It was really just about being super quick and cuddles after.

Persipan · 27/08/2020 06:23

Mine hated nappy changes when he was teeny. Until he realised that he could see the folding chair that's shoved down the side of his changing table - it's black and made a really strong contrast against the white wall, and it was the first thing he could really see and knew was definitely there. He used to just stare and stare at it; I called it 'The Shape'. And he chilled right out once he could spend the time staring at The Shape. So, random, but possibly putting a very strong contrast image nearby might distract her? Even literally just a square of black paper on the wall. (Probably won't work instantly, though.)

Minimumstandard · 27/08/2020 06:23

I've never seen a baby so angry and red. I just wanted to know if it was normal and any ideas.

Yup, DS looked like an angry little goblin for most of the first few months. It is heartbreaking especially with your first - I know this doesn't make it any easier but they're evolutionarily designed to pull on your heartstrings to ensure their survival .

BrizNiz · 27/08/2020 06:24

This is completely normal! My DS is 7 weeks now and doesn't cry when we change his nappy anymore - he stopped doing so at about 3 or 4 weeks. Don't worry - it's nothing you're doing

Metallicalover · 27/08/2020 08:18

Perfectly normal op don't worry. A lot of very young babies hate having their nappy changed, clothes changed and going in the bath as they don't like to be exposed! They have been in a lovely cosey environment for 9 months.
My little girl used to scream and go bright red. I always said that she was dramatic!
She's now 13 months and very dramatic 🤣🤣

Caspianberg · 27/08/2020 08:39

Swap wet wipes for small washable cloths. Just use a bowl of warm water each time to wet them. That way they are always warm and nothing that could cause stinging

Superscientist · 28/08/2020 15:59

My 19 day old is the same and if we dare take twice as long because she has pooed or weeed mid change its like we are torturing her. When she is particularly bad I have been giving her a cuddle once the nappy is on and if my coordination allows (it doesn't always at 3am!) get her redressed in my arms.
Just a heads up since turning 2 weeks she's started crying like this at other times too.

CanIGetARefund · 28/08/2020 16:21

I hung up a string of fairy lights above the changing station and this solved the pitiful crying.

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