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Potty training failed (23 month old)

(10 Posts)
AlCookie Wed 26-Aug-20 17:06:37

Hi All

We just aborted a 3 week long failed attempt at potty training our 23 month old. I am writing this for the benefit of some others who maybe struggling...... All I really want to say is that ITS OK TO STEP BACK!

I am a second time mum to a 23 month old boy. My older son is 8.5 years old. As a second time mum, I have some expectations from my little one based on my experience with my older kid (oh boy I know this is so wrong)

I used the 3-day potty training method when my first child was 22 months old. It worked like a charm. Within a week we were well on our way to near-zero accidents --- and 8 years on... we never looked back. I wouldn't say it was stress free but still it was ok (I was a stay at home mum then and I had my mother visiting for a few months.... so loads of help from her and no meetings to attend or reports to submit)

Now when my second kid turned 21 months --- I am working full time from home, just me and hubby (no mommy around thanks to COVID-19), studying part time over the weekends for a year long certificate program and homeschooling my 8 year old (again thanks to COVID-19... even though we have online school - its pretty much home schooling)

Retrospective question - given the above circumstances why the hell did I ever attempt potty training in the first place?!?!?!? I still cant answer that - possibly because I "expected" it to go like it did 8 years ago....

Well so here is what happened - we started with the 3 day training and it seemed to have gone ok. We started getting signals for poo poo but not for pee pee. Naps and night time diapers were mostly dry. So expectations were rising. We had lots of pee pee on the floor in the following week. And then our humpty dumpty fell badly and hurt his lip and tooth (bleeding and everything!). It was so intense that we had pain meds for about 4 days. During this time, I thought its ok for accidents and continued on with mopping up the floor like 8 times a day. I put it down to him not feeling well.

Once his 'owie' healed, I was expecting things to get back on track but it did not seem to be going right. More and more accients everyday. Then after about 5 days, he drank some bath water and had an upset tummy for 2 days. Now here we had a couple of poo poo accidents as well. I still kept it going since he was not resisting the potty at all. He still wanted to go at times and whenever we sat him down, he would pee without a fight.

But now... 4 days on from there, he kept having pee pee accidents all the time (no poo poo accidents though). And today morning he actually resisted the potty when we took him to the bathroom.

The moment he arched his back, THAT WAS THE MOMENT I decided to step back.

All through I tried to keep calm with the accidents, riding on the positive outlook that he is ok with going to the bathroom. But the one time he resisted, I just stopped and put on a pull up pant (needed pull ups since he still wants to poop in the toilet)

But after that I felt like a failure (for about 3 hours I sulked). Then I gathered all my thoughts and convinced myself that its OK. And that is when I thought I should share this with all you guys.......

All kids are different, circumstances also matter and nothing matters more than a HAPPY KID & a HAPPY MUM

We shall try again after a few weeks/months

OP’s posts: |
Debradoyourecall Wed 26-Aug-20 18:40:11

So true... and he’s still very young. I had a failed attempt with my son when he was three, tried again a couple of months later and it worked out that time. Sometimes they’re just not ready I guess. Good luck with your next attempt x

SpacePug Wed 26-Aug-20 19:40:16

23 months seems quite young. But I don't know anything about potty training . I have a 20 month old and he's nowhere near ready yet as he doesnt give any sign/tell us when he does pee or poo so I guess he's not aware before he does it? Though he did once squat in the bath to poo a couple months ago. He doesn't even go off to be alone when he fills nappy which I think is a sign?
Anyway I guess all you can do is hang on a little longer then try it again. He'll get it in the end even if it's later than DS1

happinessischocolate Wed 26-Aug-20 19:44:58

I think if it takes longer than a week for them to get the basics of it then they're too young. Both of mine potty trained fully including dry at nights at 2.5 years.

WhispersOfWickedness Wed 26-Aug-20 19:51:35

Ah, you were lulled into a false sense of security by your first born grin
I had mine the other way round, so he was finally dry at just over 3 and then his sister trained herself at 18 months old only a couple of months later hmm Two totally different experiences, so it very much depends on the child and there's little you can do about it grin

user1498572889 Wed 26-Aug-20 19:53:03

He is still young. He isn’t ready yet.

littlebillie Wed 26-Aug-20 20:36:01

Yep too soon try in a few months maybe at age 3

AlCookie Thu 27-Aug-20 15:19:56

Hey thank you so much for the replies... felt nice after reading those

Just a few points for people who are about to try this --- there are a few things to keep in mind
1) Close to ~24 months is NOT too young to try. So if you want to try, go ahead
2) BUT if you decide to give it a try then be prepared to back off as soon as you see the kid in any kind of distress or developing resistance
3) Trial duration should be about a week. If its not getting better then stop
4) I think one of the most important signs of the kid being ready is CAN THE KID STAY DRY FOR AT LEAST 2 HOURS OR MORE?

My little one had no issue understanding what the potty is for and how it needs to be done. He was not scared either.

But the issue became that he could not stay dry for even an hour. Very rarely he went 2 hours without peeing. So that led to too many toilet trips..... too much prompting..... too many dress changes. That is what stressed him out eventually

My older one easily stayed dry for 3-4 hours at the same age unless he drank sugar syrup!

OP’s posts: |
AlCookie Thu 27-Aug-20 15:35:27

Update from today: after aborting the training mission yesterday, we went back to pull ups today.

Little one still wants to use the toilet but on his terms. So he went pee pee thrice today without prompting but the pull had a lot of pee too. So its like if he actually peed 8 times, he went to the pot just 3 times ;-) He also signalled for poop on the pot and did not go in the pull up

So I just played along without any stress for either party :-)

The good thing - less number of poop soiled pampers going forward. And secondly, he is not resisting the potty and is still ok with the idea

OP’s posts: |
Lockdownseperation Thu 27-Aug-20 17:11:44

@SpacePug child don’t know they have done a wee until they start potty training and see their wee and then they connect it with that feeling.

To get ready for potty training teach your boy how to pull his trouser up and down, let him go to the toilet with family members especially when having a poo so they know sometimes you have to wait a bit for a poo to come out and say ‘pants down, sit down’ and ‘stand up, pants up’ when appropriate as many children find this confusing.

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