My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Quick response to people who comment how small my baby is

57 replies

Gabbbbbbby · 18/08/2020 19:37

I'm getting so fed up of comments about my DS's size... He's 10 months, love his food and is tracking just above his 9th centile weight line, which he's been on since birth. He's always been a little baby and when he was younger I didn't mind people commenting so much, but now he's getting older I'm getting increasingly fed up! He's not even that small! He just doesn't have rolls of fat.
I'm sure I'm projecting, but I just feel people's judgement when they comment that he's small for his age, like having a big baby is somehow better. I'm sure this will continue through toddlerhood, I can't imagine him suddenly becoming big for his age, so any tips on quick, non-snarky comebacks when people comment?

OP posts:
Report
MrsWooster · 18/08/2020 19:39

(Your son is small)
“Really? I didn’t know there is a ‘correct’ size for people.. are we supposed to be all identical?”

Report
whoami24601 · 18/08/2020 19:42

Aww I have a teeny one. At his 2 year review he was so small he wasn't even on the charts! He's perfectly proportioned just tiny. I think it's positive - it marks him out as different and people notice him. He gets away with murder because people think he's cute 🙄

Report
Gabbbbbbby · 18/08/2020 19:47

Haha @MrsWooster that's a good one! Exactly my feeling. We know adults are all different sizes, so why are people so concerned about babies/children's sizes?!

OP posts:
Report
Sunnydaysandsalad · 18/08/2020 19:48

Ah yes well we ordered the small size...


My ds was prem and we just stopped getting these comments when he turned 5...

Report
Bellesavage · 18/08/2020 19:50

My boy is 50th centile for everything but am constantly getting told he's fat/huge. He's not a chubby looking baby at all, I think it's just because people have forgotten what babies look like during lockdown!

Report
Bravefarts · 18/08/2020 19:52

It's deeply engrained that babies should be "bonny" and fat. For good reason. 9th centile is small, that's a fact. Of course, if that's his line, and you and dad are small, then it's healthy for him, but you can't fight millennia of human conditioning that bonny babies are more likely to survive, and the drive to fatten up the skinny ones.

No one really cares your baby is small, they're just making conversation. The only way to respond when people say "he's small for his age" is "yes, he is."

You could make a joke that you get good value from his clothes. Or you could just say "yes, he's dinky. Funny, though, he's just learned to..."

They're making conversation. They don't care about the size of your kid.

Report
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 18/08/2020 19:57

People just like to comment, we've had comments on how huge DS is, he's 23 months and 99th centile, growing out his carseat that's supposed to do until 4 years old!

There's some good replies above, I usually just hmmm and agree, if they push it I'll mention that well someone has to be above the average!

Report
Bravefarts · 18/08/2020 19:57

My boy is 50th centile for everything but am constantly getting told he's fat/huge. He's not a chubby looking baby at all, I think it's just because people have forgotten what babies look like during lockdown!

Honestly, it's not. It's people trying to find something to say about your personal Winston Churchill alike lump that is polite and conversational. Babies are bloody dull. Size is obvious, and easy to chat about. If they have hair, you could mention that, but many are ugly baldies. People try and think of anything to say to make conversation, and we're conditioned to care about babies being fat, because if they're fat they might live.

It's just conversation. Witty retorts will end conversation with people trying to be nice, is that what you want?

Report
Enough4me · 18/08/2020 20:04

Repeat what they say in a slightly different positive way, e.g. they say "he's tiny" you say " yes we all were all tiny when young", or if the comment is "is he growing ok", you say "yes growing well as we all did when we were young".

All the people making the comments were babies too and at one point we were all one cell in size!

It's annoying that people appear to feel the need to assess young children's size.

Report
PickledLilly · 18/08/2020 20:07

My small baby is now 7, she’s still small, I still get comments about it. I’m Only 5 ft myself, I generally go with faux shock, indicate my height and say something sarcastic about how you’d think someone my size would have a tall child Hmm

Report
uglyface · 18/08/2020 20:07

My friend has this with her one year old. Mostly she just nods and smiles, but when she’s had a particularly stressful day she has been known to say ‘yes, it’s because his biological mum was on drugs for her entire pregnancy so....’.

(This is true btw, not just a terrible lie!)

Report
Gabbbbbbby · 18/08/2020 20:12

@Bravefarts lol that's exactly the issue - people caring because they think bigger is better! Funny how it changes around once they grow up..
Btw my baby is exceptionally bonny!!

OP posts:
Report
Spam88 · 18/08/2020 20:24

Honestly it's just people making conversation, they're not being rude. I've had two 9th centilers, if people commented on their size I'd reply with things like "yeah she's always been small", "yes she's only just gone into 3-6 clothes", "yeah his dad's only about my size so he was never going to be big", "yes his sister was small too"...can't see the need for a rude retort.

Report
Gabbbbbbby · 18/08/2020 20:28

@Spam88 yes I think you're right. I know I'm projecting slightly! I definitely don't want to be rude - hence why I asked for 'non-snarky' come backs.

OP posts:
Report
BuzzFeed773 · 18/08/2020 20:34

People just find something to say to be polite or connect with you. To be honest, all babies except your own are exceptionally dull, so you just say something about what you can see. It's easier if they are big/small/have a lot of hair/are bald because you don't have to come up with something.

Don't take it personally. Just say - yes, we are a small family - or something similarly unremarkable.

Report
Letsallscreamatthesistene · 18/08/2020 20:37

I have literally the opposite problem. My son is big, 95th centile for height and weight. Hes 4 months old and the size of the average 6/7 month old. The first thing EVERYONE says to me is 'hes so big!' It really gets to me, like im doing something wrong.

Report
Bupkis · 18/08/2020 20:38

People are just finding something to say, and when it comes to babies it's usually a fairly quick impression, so....
'Oh he's so tiny'
'Wow isn't she big'
There isn't much else you can comment on with babies!
My mum always used to compliment the shape of a babies head...it could be the size and shape of a semi deflated football, but she'd still say...'oh, what a beautifully shaped head!'

Report
Dinosforall · 18/08/2020 20:43

I just say "It's great, people think he's a genius because he looks so much younger than he is."

Report
Gabbbbbbby · 18/08/2020 20:44

@Letsallscreamatthesistene yes I was thinking it's probably the same the other way round! I know what you mean, as a first time mum I think you're just always worrying about things being perfect. But our babies are perfect as they are Smile

OP posts:
Report
Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 18/08/2020 20:49

“Yes the best things come in small packages don’t they” big smile

People usually don’t mean to upset you when they talk about babies, people just like to talk about babies but it’s hard not to take whatever the comment is personally when you’ve heard it a hundred times!

I used to get “fish look at all that hair” with my first, “ooh he’s a long baby” constantly with my second, “ooh you’ve got your hands full” with my third Grin

Report
Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 18/08/2020 20:49

Gosh not fish HmmGrin

Report
BlackberrySky · 18/08/2020 20:53

Reply "I know, we've lost him down the back of the sofa three times this week - nightmare!" Big smile. Hopefully they will move on!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Smurf123 · 18/08/2020 20:53

My son is 2.5.. We have had both 🙈 he was born on the 2nd percentile for weight but long on the 75th... He's now between 75-95(I think no 2 yr check up due to covid) for both weight and length. He's currently wearing age 3-4 clothes as otherwise his trousers are halfway up his legs so we are now getting the "he's 2 really? Oh he is so tall"
It's a bit of a pain as people also judge him and expect him to be able to do/ say a lot more than he can

Report
Mrsbclinton · 18/08/2020 20:55

Id say something like he shrunk in the wash!

Report
BruceAndNosh · 18/08/2020 20:56

"we decided to go to quality rather than quantity. Small, but perfectly formed"

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.