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Quick response to people who comment how small my baby is

(57 Posts)
Gabbbbbbby Tue 18-Aug-20 19:37:31

I'm getting so fed up of comments about my DS's size... He's 10 months, love his food and is tracking just above his 9th centile weight line, which he's been on since birth. He's always been a little baby and when he was younger I didn't mind people commenting so much, but now he's getting older I'm getting increasingly fed up! He's not even that small! He just doesn't have rolls of fat.
I'm sure I'm projecting, but I just feel people's judgement when they comment that he's small for his age, like having a big baby is somehow better. I'm sure this will continue through toddlerhood, I can't imagine him suddenly becoming big for his age, so any tips on quick, non-snarky comebacks when people comment?

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MrsWooster Tue 18-Aug-20 19:39:30

(Your son is small)
“Really? I didn’t know there is a ‘correct’ size for people.. are we supposed to be all identical?”

whoami24601 Tue 18-Aug-20 19:42:33

Aww I have a teeny one. At his 2 year review he was so small he wasn't even on the charts! He's perfectly proportioned just tiny. I think it's positive - it marks him out as different and people notice him. He gets away with murder because people think he's cute 🙄

Gabbbbbbby Tue 18-Aug-20 19:47:30

Haha @MrsWooster that's a good one! Exactly my feeling. We know adults are all different sizes, so why are people so concerned about babies/children's sizes?!

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Sunnydaysandsalad Tue 18-Aug-20 19:48:50

Ah yes well we ordered the small size...

My ds was prem and we just stopped getting these comments when he turned 5...

Bellesavage Tue 18-Aug-20 19:50:02

My boy is 50th centile for everything but am constantly getting told he's fat/huge. He's not a chubby looking baby at all, I think it's just because people have forgotten what babies look like during lockdown!

Bravefarts Tue 18-Aug-20 19:52:55

It's deeply engrained that babies should be "bonny" and fat. For good reason. 9th centile is small, that's a fact. Of course, if that's his line, and you and dad are small, then it's healthy for him, but you can't fight millennia of human conditioning that bonny babies are more likely to survive, and the drive to fatten up the skinny ones.

No one really cares your baby is small, they're just making conversation. The only way to respond when people say "he's small for his age" is "yes, he is."

You could make a joke that you get good value from his clothes. Or you could just say "yes, he's dinky. Funny, though, he's just learned to..."

They're making conversation. They don't care about the size of your kid.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee Tue 18-Aug-20 19:57:17

People just like to comment, we've had comments on how huge DS is, he's 23 months and 99th centile, growing out his carseat that's supposed to do until 4 years old!

There's some good replies above, I usually just hmmm and agree, if they push it I'll mention that well someone has to be above the average!

Bravefarts Tue 18-Aug-20 19:57:20

My boy is 50th centile for everything but am constantly getting told he's fat/huge. He's not a chubby looking baby at all, I think it's just because people have forgotten what babies look like during lockdown!

Honestly, it's not. It's people trying to find something to say about your personal Winston Churchill alike lump that is polite and conversational. Babies are bloody dull. Size is obvious, and easy to chat about. If they have hair, you could mention that, but many are ugly baldies. People try and think of anything to say to make conversation, and we're conditioned to care about babies being fat, because if they're fat they might live.

It's just conversation. Witty retorts will end conversation with people trying to be nice, is that what you want?

Enough4me Tue 18-Aug-20 20:04:33

Repeat what they say in a slightly different positive way, e.g. they say "he's tiny" you say " yes we all were all tiny when young", or if the comment is "is he growing ok", you say "yes growing well as we all did when we were young".

All the people making the comments were babies too and at one point we were all one cell in size!

It's annoying that people appear to feel the need to assess young children's size.

PickledLilly Tue 18-Aug-20 20:07:45

My small baby is now 7, she’s still small, I still get comments about it. I’m Only 5 ft myself, I generally go with faux shock, indicate my height and say something sarcastic about how you’d think someone my size would have a tall child hmm

uglyface Tue 18-Aug-20 20:07:57

My friend has this with her one year old. Mostly she just nods and smiles, but when she’s had a particularly stressful day she has been known to say ‘yes, it’s because his biological mum was on drugs for her entire pregnancy so....’.

(This is true btw, not just a terrible lie!)

Gabbbbbbby Tue 18-Aug-20 20:12:41

@Bravefarts lol that's exactly the issue - people caring because they think bigger is better! Funny how it changes around once they grow up..
Btw my baby is exceptionally bonny!!

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Spam88 Tue 18-Aug-20 20:24:39

Honestly it's just people making conversation, they're not being rude. I've had two 9th centilers, if people commented on their size I'd reply with things like "yeah she's always been small", "yes she's only just gone into 3-6 clothes", "yeah his dad's only about my size so he was never going to be big", "yes his sister was small too"...can't see the need for a rude retort.

Gabbbbbbby Tue 18-Aug-20 20:28:19

@Spam88 yes I think you're right. I know I'm projecting slightly! I definitely don't want to be rude - hence why I asked for 'non-snarky' come backs.

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BuzzFeed773 Tue 18-Aug-20 20:34:38

People just find something to say to be polite or connect with you. To be honest, all babies except your own are exceptionally dull, so you just say something about what you can see. It's easier if they are big/small/have a lot of hair/are bald because you don't have to come up with something.

Don't take it personally. Just say - yes, we are a small family - or something similarly unremarkable.

Letsallscreamatthesistene Tue 18-Aug-20 20:37:44

I have literally the opposite problem. My son is big, 95th centile for height and weight. Hes 4 months old and the size of the average 6/7 month old. The first thing EVERYONE says to me is 'hes so big!' It really gets to me, like im doing something wrong.

Bupkis Tue 18-Aug-20 20:38:58

People are just finding something to say, and when it comes to babies it's usually a fairly quick impression, so....
'Oh he's so tiny'
'Wow isn't she big'
There isn't much else you can comment on with babies!
My mum always used to compliment the shape of a babies could be the size and shape of a semi deflated football, but she'd still say...'oh, what a beautifully shaped head!'

Dinosforall Tue 18-Aug-20 20:43:20

I just say "It's great, people think he's a genius because he looks so much younger than he is."

Gabbbbbbby Tue 18-Aug-20 20:44:35

@Letsallscreamatthesistene yes I was thinking it's probably the same the other way round! I know what you mean, as a first time mum I think you're just always worrying about things being perfect. But our babies are perfect as they are smile

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Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons Tue 18-Aug-20 20:49:15

“Yes the best things come in small packages don’t they” big smile

People usually don’t mean to upset you when they talk about babies, people just like to talk about babies but it’s hard not to take whatever the comment is personally when you’ve heard it a hundred times!

I used to get “fish look at all that hair” with my first, “ooh he’s a long baby” constantly with my second, “ooh you’ve got your hands full” with my third grin

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons Tue 18-Aug-20 20:49:43

Gosh not fish hmmgrin

BlackberrySky Tue 18-Aug-20 20:53:31

Reply "I know, we've lost him down the back of the sofa three times this week - nightmare!" Big smile. Hopefully they will move on!

Smurf123 Tue 18-Aug-20 20:53:36

My son is 2.5.. We have had both 🙈 he was born on the 2nd percentile for weight but long on the 75th... He's now between 75-95(I think no 2 yr check up due to covid) for both weight and length. He's currently wearing age 3-4 clothes as otherwise his trousers are halfway up his legs so we are now getting the "he's 2 really? Oh he is so tall"
It's a bit of a pain as people also judge him and expect him to be able to do/ say a lot more than he can

Mrsbclinton Tue 18-Aug-20 20:55:15

Id say something like he shrunk in the wash!

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