Your newborn experiences

[Razpoot]

Hi! so I've got a baby girl, 3 weeks and 2 days old. I just wanted to know your experiences! With my girl she was born 5lbs, she's really been packing on the weight since which I'm really chuffed about (7lbs when she was weighed last week and breastfed). She seems to be in a pattern of spending the evenings crying and fussing for hours on end. I'll try feeding her over and over again, sometimes she seems like she is really refusing my breast which makes me feel like maybe I'm force feeding her or something and I get really guilty! Conflicting words from midwives, they told me breastfed babies can't be overfed, don't need to be burped but internet seems to say otherwise. I haven't been burping but I started last night and did get a few so I'll see if that helps. After these sessions though she sleeps through the night only waking for a feed then back to sleep which I'm grateful for!

Also opinions on public breastfeeding? I really don't care, dignity out the window I'll feed her anywhere, but I was out with my mother yesterday for a meal and she made me feel so embarrassed! Kept telling me to show some dignity, trying to shield me from anybody coming nearby, breastfeeding makes me super thirsty so I asked for water but she told the male waiter to go away when he brought it as "i wasnt appropriate"! She says older people will be disgusted if they see. Maybe it's because I'm a young mum (19) but it felt totally uncomfortable when in any other case I wouldn't care.

[OrangeGinLemonFanta]

You sound like you're doing a great job I'd suggest not going out in public with your mum until she's a bit more mature! Both my bf babies needed burped but you absolutely can't force them to latch on and suck so don't worry about overfeeding. Congratulations on your baby

[Sunshine1235]

Both my babies were really fussy in the evenings, coming on and off and crying a lot. It’s very normal. One thing I found that helped was skin to skin, if I stripped off my top have and stripped the baby then tried to feed him he seemed to calm down... the only problem was getting him dressed again once he was warm but if you’re in this heat that won’t be such a concern!

Congratulations!

[Hopefulbride18]

Agree - sounds like you’re doing amazingly well! Yes it could be a bit of wind, I also got told bf babies don’t need winding but mine definitely did!

Your mum is very weird about breastfeeding in public but that’s her odd opinion not that of the general population! I always fed my baby in restaurants without a cover - like yours he was a summer baby so too hot for all that! Keep doing what you’re doing, sounds great!

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Congrats on your LO OP, it’s fantastic that she’s putting on weight. You can’t over feed a newborn- as for burping, I did burp my bf baby. Has anyone mentioned infacol to go? That was helpful when my Baby was having trapped wind issues when being fed.

Your mother by the way is being ridiculous, and it’s clearly a representation of what things were like when she has babies. Thank heavens we are moving on from this rubbish. I fed wherever, whenever, tried faffing with covers at first and in the end I just didn’t give a crap. Please ignore your mum, the needs of a baby trump any social uncomfortable ness of an adult.

[mdh2020]

Please ignore your mum. I breast fed everywhere - the local lido, the pub garden. It sounds as if you are being a great mum. Enjoy your son

[Pipandmum]

One of my babies was tricky to get to sleep at first. She had reflux and while she found sucking soothing she often spit it back up. She cried as soon as I put her down. I persevered with the routine though and at three months she started sucking her thumb and that helped (I did at one point try a dummy out of desperation but she didn't like it). And her reflux stopped. So patience and sticking to a routine and eventually your baby will get it.
As for feeding in public - please please please do not let your mother put you off! There are ways of doing it which are discreet yet get the job done. I simply wore loose tops and either fed my babies underneath or draped a muslin gently over my shoulder to cover myself. It was obvious that I was breastfeeding but I was not showing my breasts and it was calmer for the baby. No one ever stared or gawped at me and despite what your mother says I had one elderly gent come over afterwards and say he was delighted to see that I breastfed in public as he remembered the difficult time his wife had when his kids were babies.
Congratulations on your baby and just remember you may obsess over little things along the way but they soon pass and a new thing will take over!

[TeddyIsaHe]

Dd was a bugger in the evenings for about 6 weeks, I used to sit downstairs with her in a bouncer that I jiggled with my foot whilst watching boxsets - the slightly more upright position and the jiggling definitely helped her relax.

Also, loud (louder than you think!) white noise really calmed her. There’s a video on YouTube that’s ten hours (!) long with a heartbeat sound that she slept really well to.

I did burp dd after every feed, she definitely needed it.

I bf Dd until she was 2.5 everywhere - in cafes/Michelin restaurants/church/parks etc etc and no one ever made any comments other than how cute she was. I had fully mentally prepped myself with cutting replies though which gave me confidence.

Congrats! You sound like you’re doing a great job

[orangesandstrawberries]

Haha you just reminded me of a relative who used to stand with tea towels / scarves in front of me to "protect my modesty". I just told them there is no shame in feeding my baby and repeat . Literally nobody else batted an eyelid.

[PaulinePetrovaPosey]

Your bub sounds amazing!

My BF baby definitely needs burping, and when she was tiny she was happier after it.

And BFing in public is totally fine, as long as you're comfortable. You never show much, and anyway - who cares?

[userabcname]

I breastfed both my babies and they definitely needed winding! Sounds like you're doing a fab job! Totally normal for babies to be fussy in the evening, it will pass eventually. Just keep feeding on demand and giving lots of cuddles and she will be fine. Sorry about your mum's attitude, that's really sad to hear. Unfortunately, presuming you're in the UK, we have a real bottle-feeding culture here and breastfeeding in public can be seen as controversial. Of course, it's perfectly natural and normal and unless you're taking off your top and bra and sitting there half-naked, it's really not inappropriate or undignified! Once the baby is latched there really isn't much to see. Don't let your mum's attitude put you off. I've bf both mine in public and not had any horrible comments luckily. Congratulations on your baby!

[Harrysmummy246]

I BF wherever DS needed it. Fortunately my mum had BF too and all family very supportive.

Definitely needed burping though.

[Razpoot]

Thanks for all your replies, they've been great to read 😃 during her fussy times today ive started swaddling her and cuddling after a good feed and that seems to put her to sleep whereas before I'd wait for her to fall asleep on her own, at my breast or something. Is it bad to have her rely on me for sleep? Ive heard a few things like that. Beginning to wonder if her fussiness was over exhaustion perhaps? She would be awake for hours. I've kept burping her and she seems better for it which im super glad about. Thanks for the reassurance on public bf

[LikeTheOceansWeRise]

It sounds like you are doing great OP! Def ignore your mum regarding the breastfeeding, don't let her shame you into hiding. As PP said, breastfeeding sadly isn't normalised enough in the UK.

Absolutely help your baby get to sleep, you can't create bad habits this young and most small babies need a bit of help getting to sleep. Around 3 weeks is when my baby 'woke up' and stopped just falling asleep anytime and anywhere. Suddenly she needed me to help her fall asleep (rocking, pram, sling etc) which blindsided me a bit. Also at that age she should only be awake for an hour or so before going down for another nap, that should stop any overtiredness 😊

My BF baby would often get cranky at the breast if she needed to burp. I'd burp her and latch her back on, and she'd resume feeding. If she stops feeding but seems content, I know she's full rather than struggling with wind, if that makes sense.

Good luck!

[YouJustDoYou]

My first born was a horror of a baby. Nothing like any of the books, nor what anyone else seemed to get (nice, calm, lovely babies who slept through from 6 weeks blah blah blah). He was a constant screamer. No SEN - just a very, very, high needs baby (and child). He would only nap in 30 minute slots. Couldn't breastfeed properly. Would wake every hour for the first year. Would wake screaming. Would scream at cafes. Scream if I tried to sit down/shower/cook/breathe. He's 7 now, and still an intense, hard work child, though I love him.

[Razpoot]

Wow, I can't begin to imagine how tough that was. Huge congrats on powering through

[BeautyAndTheBump1]

My little one was fussy every evening for about 3 hours then he would have his last feed and drop like a fly.
He loves his pushchair and looking up at the trees etc so we would go on a walk every night around 7 / 8pm when he was at his peak fussiness and it would calm and quieten him down whilst we was out. It was nice for the break as anything we did just wouldnt settle him. I think hes grown out of it now though (touch wood) hes 10 weeks and hasnt been like it for a few weeks now.

[Whatelsecouldibecalled]

Congratulations on the birth of your baby! I found week 3 was peak crying for us. It honestly felt like we were doing something wrong and in the evening felt like it would last for hours!!! It’s got better thankfully (he’s 4 months now) and on the whole a happy little chap! Hang in there. Don’t be afraid of putting her safely down and walking away for a few mins to compose yourself. I know I’ve done that on more than one occasion. They feed off you so if you’re uptight they get more fussy and so on. Hard to keep composure though when wrestling a wailing banshee! Ha! Skin to skin really helps calm him down when he’s gone past the point of no return.

I can’t offer advice about breastfeeding as I formula feed but I do think your mum is being absolutely ridiculous. I’m sure it’s a generation thing as less women breastfed then. Good for you having the confidence in public. Tell her to mind her own bussiness or you will have to stop going out with her. My SIL exclusively breastfeeds and needs to burp her little one. When my boy has a bit of colic/reflux I thought it was because I formula fed but th midwife said it happens to breastfed babies too.

Hang in there it does get easier. Congratulations again. Sounds like you’re doing an awesome job!!