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Three children - spending time with each?

(9 Posts)
munchymoo Mon 10-Aug-20 14:11:22

I have 2 DS's and have just found out I'm pregnant with an unplanned third. Both DH and I are really shocked and quite unhappy right now, but don't think I can bring myself to terminate.

One of my biggest worries, is how I will ever manage to spend enough time with each child. How will they get any one on one time? I love the fact that right now I can do this.

I'd have a just turned 5 year old DS, an 18 month old DS and a newborn. Obv their stages will change as they get older but I'm so worried they just won't get any one on one time at all.

For those with 3, is it possible? With my age gaps? How does it work?

Feeling so low please help :-) x

OP’s posts: |
Lou2120 Mon 10-Aug-20 15:53:47

My unplanned 3rd is 6 months old now I also have 2 boys age 10 and 6 and I can honestly say I've worried so much about this but it gets easier. When baby naps now I can spend time with the other 2 or now she goes to bed at 7ish and is in a routine I can spend time with the boys. It is hard in the beginning and I was overwhelmed but I think lockdown didnt help me! The boys would of been at school if that hadn't of happened. Your eldest will be at school full time I would assume so that will give you time to spend with your middle one while little one naps and then maybe when the 2 little ones go to bed spend 30 minutes quality time with your eldest. Its quality time over quantity x

Immigrantsong Mon 10-Aug-20 15:57:39

You really don't have to have this baby, especially if you think you will struggle.

I wouldn't have any children if I had doubts.

FATEdestiny Mon 10-Aug-20 16:00:59

18 months is a really nice age gap IMO. You get the benefits of them being into the same things at the same times, plus they grow up close enough in age to be really good friends.

lemondust Mon 10-Aug-20 16:01:29

I have 3 DSs with 3 years between each. It is absolutely fine and really don't worry. As they grow you will find different things you can do with each child and they will need you differently at every stage. Mine are now 16, 13 and 9 and totally need me in different ways but there are always things I do with each that gives us that one on one time. The one thing I have always done is give each child 20 / 30 mins of my time at bedtime to talk or read or draw. It does make the evening shrink for me but at least I know I have given them a chance to share things.

ILiveInSalemsLot Mon 10-Aug-20 16:05:53

Don’t worry about it too much. Just make sure they all get cuddles and things just work out.
I take dcs to different activities so I make sure we have time to chat en route. Sometimes one dc might need new shoes so we’ll go and leave other dc. Maybe have a snack somewhere too.
You’ll just find various time slots.

Snaleandthewhail Mon 10-Aug-20 16:09:11

It is hard (8, 4, nearly 2, and yes unplanned third). But it’s not impossible. Eldest has 1:1 time after little ones bedtime and in school holidays when they continue. Middle one is harder but gets taken out for treats. Youngest had maternity leave and will get one day a week when middle starts school.

There is always someone else to play with.

Sleep is crap.

There is an awful lot of happiness and laughter.

Do what feels right for you.

victoriasponge678 Mon 10-Aug-20 16:20:12

I was so happy to have one and when we had two we felt our family was complete, the third was unplanned and completely changed our life. Yes it is hard to get 1:1 time, but family time is great. I have 1:1 time at bed or bath time, and in the mornings or when we bake.

My eldest likes going out with me for a coffee, my youngest likes coming shopping with me, and middle one just likes watching films together.

Three kids can be so busy and full on, but absolutely amazing too

britespark1 Tue 11-Aug-20 17:54:37

Our 3rd DC was definitely unplanned and it caused a lot of turmoil when DH tried to decide what to do. Our boys are now 9, 8 & 7 and we try and give them their own “movie nights” every now and again so we can spend quality time with them, or leave 2 with grandparents and take one out to the zoo, etc. It’s not easy but it’s doable.

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